scruffy said   
*  someone is gonna tell the beach lady story, right?  i wanna see someone else tell it.   

CellE2057 said

BEACH LADY

My brain was a little fried so correct any mistakes I make. Since no one else is chiming in on it, how about I start it off and someone else picks it up for a bit and passes it on? I'm curious to read everyone's take on it anyway. Also, why was she dubbed "beach lady"? I'm feelin super left out on the reason for the name.

The Meatup Massacre is going down, albeit late as fuck, when this middle aged, microwaved-hot dog-skinned, mophead-left in the bleach bucket too long-haired lady wearing a black sundress wanders in to the Village. Doesn't say shit. Doesn't really do anything. She just stands there staring at Shaman. He asks something (don't remember what) that is clearly translating to "the fuck are you doin, lady?" She says that she lost her kid. Thinking that there was some mishearing because she more or less whispered it to no one in particular, she's asked to clarify. Thus begins the madness that is "Beach lady". She starts screaming and crying, like, snot out the nose type of crying, and says some incoherent shit. That drew the attention of most of the people left not paying attention to the scene and a few people start approached her and trying to remedy the situation...

So...who wants to take over from there?  

scruffy said

well, okay. 

actually, let me back it up a second.  a lil earlier, maybe half an hour before, this lady appeared at my car.

i was stowin shit and comin to lock the car up, when i sees this woman slumped up against the open backseat.  i instantly thought, 'this bitch is tryin to be sneaky and steal my shit!', so, naturally, i wound up to football kick her in the face.  i quickly pulled up short, however, cuz i noticed she was holding her chest and half-sobbin/half-hyperventilating.  i think shes havin a health problem, talk to her for a second, she says, 'no, its just...  its just hard...' 

in the time it takes me to go to the other side of the car, get a water out of the cooler, and return, she has vanished.  i shrug. 

 
right.  sumn like twenty minutes later, the stuff that celle wrote up happens. 

 
bayareashaman comes up to me and says 'that crazy lady is back'.  obviously, this is gonna need dealt with.  im told that she is claimin she lost her kid, like its some code adam shit goin down right in the village, or who knows...  but time for action. 

the first thing that was odd [i mean, out-of-place, the whole thing was odd] was when ocj asked her if she had notified security yet.  she said yes, which made me wonder why the hell she was in our camp without security, when she should be standing next to a radio at all times. 

a little bit more sobby panicking and a whole lot more almost-understandable babble-speech later, and ive got her focused enough to at least realize that im kneeling in front of her.  i try to get basic facts: 

scruffy - 'listen, we need to know whats goin on, can you answer some questions for me?' 

beach lady - [sob]  'yes, i can.'  [sob]

scruffy - 'so, you said your child is missing?' 

beach lady - [sob]  'uh huh.'

scruffy - 'what happened?' 

beach lady - 'we were at the beach!  and i turned around, and he was gone!'  [hysterical sobbing] 

scruffy - 'the beach...?  okay, i have no more questions for you.  please stay seated, dont bother to stand up or anything, ill be right back.' 

at this point it is obvious that she is either off her meds or on someone elses, and that whatever plan of action is forthcoming, she aint gonna be on the planning committee. 

[to be continued by the next person to continue it...  yeah, theres more!]

Old Mr Dangerous said   

scruffy said   
those guys had me film a stale 'commercial' for their shit, but that tale is actually an asterisk at the end of the beach lady story.  a story that needs to be continued.  i wasnt around for much of the end part, so...  whos up...?    

I'm captivated and need to know the next chapter.