a message to God.

I’d imagine that God wouldn’t fuck with pussy ass hoe niggas.

bayAreaShaman said
Lol or worse gods will…

i have depression. It’s deep and horrible. But I am the happiest I have ever been. Even after my day. At my worse when I wanted to snuff it I talked to no one and felt with it on my own and took pride I didn’t turn to god like the rest. Not even friends for some reason when I told my friends and family I need help they didn’t believe me so I felt alone but felt with it on my own. It’s a miracle I’m here. I wanted to die really bad I was crazy cuz of drugs homeless also (although I won’t lie by choice…kinda). I don’t know why me and this guy with a stroke are the only guys I know that don’t smoke meth anymore.  Don’t know why I’m not in prison. I some how even though I know it did matter I had to keep  going.   Maybe it was just denial. I always believed odd things afterwards but didn’t give a fuck if I was a hypocrite I still ranted about myhatred of god and religion but talked to my dead friend thru the trees left places when the wind and leaves told me. Fucked up cool shit. 

God is something I was lying to myself about. I believed in it but was telling myself I didn’t.  So now I believe in him but my scared. I don’t know how I feel about preying. I don’t think I should be asking for anything. I’ve been a bad person. I’m not worthy so to say. All I ask for is for him to help me find strength. Im scared cuz the thought of god just sounds crazy and I’ve been like literally crazy so I’m scared. But I look inside and all bullshit aside I believe in god. Simple as that.

Ibelieve in my own personal hell. I created it thru my actions. My worse fears happen when I do this fucked up shit.

 Being in touch and creating a relationship with him makes me happy and is helping me live a life with endless depression. I can’t explain it.., depression feels like two hands squeezing ur insides in ur chest and god feels like literally mother fucken sunshine in ur chest. I feel like I got my life back. It’s link all that cliche shit. It just makes it better. I don’t even talk to the man. I just feel. And stay thru myself . And pm if anything I don’t take depression lightly. I just some done posser kid but I know sad.

Ever thought about meditation? I can’t honestly recommend any and all guided meditations because a lot of them go way fuckin overboard with the “you’re a pretty, unique snowflake and now you feel like you’re drifting down to the ground” shit but if you’re interested I could message you some solid info on it. I’d post some guided ones here but honestly I have to search through all my folders to find the ones that aren’t shitty. Food for thought. I know that’s not what you were asking for though so I’ll focus on the god thing, or at least, what I take you to mean.

If someone believes in god, it’s none of my business but personally, I don’t get it. I think you saying that you talking to god made you feel better isn’t giving yourself enough credit. I’m not trying to shit on you at all but you asked for thoughts on it so there it is. I think that you were talking to yourself (something that everyone does, whether they pretend they don’t or not) and you were smart enough to get yourself through whatever it was. That should be celebrated and would be under any other circumstances but if someone adds god to the equation is gets muddled.

I couldn’t agree more about the believers/label thing but I would say anyone that speaks in absolutes on it is more the problem. If you “know” for sure that god’s real or if you “know” for sure that it isn’t real, I don’t trust you immediately. No one really knows, we’re all just taking in the info and trying to wrap our heads around a vast amount of heavy fucking questions. On a subject so powerful and full of emotion, of course people are going to come to different answers. Only a fool would believe their answer is unequivocally right.

On Scruffy’s faith comment, man, that has potential to be a very heavy, complicated, statement. I only say potential because I’m presuming that you’re using the word as an atheist usually uses it. Meaning the 2b definition (firm belief in something for which there is no proof). If you are, there’s a level of intricacy in your dilemma that I will honestly be thinking about for quite awhile. If you’re using the 2a definition (how most use it), it sounds like, giving your possible realization credence, faith and luck are just interchangeable aren’t they? At least they have been thus far. That isn’t the most reassuring thought and it definitely evokes “impending doom” but if it is true, how is it any different than before? If luck has gotten you to the exact same place as faith, it doesn’t really matter. A rose by any other name and such things as this. That quote might be a little too positive for this but the message holds.

krunkazphuk said
God is a word to me, and since I’m actively searching for healthy/reasonable ideas maybe the idea of god will pan out.

ideas. Such an important distinction for me. I don’t like belief because it leaves very little wiggle room. Ideas though, they can be changed or even abandoned. I have a lot of ideas of what might be and every single one of them excites me.

Except one. You know the one. The one where nothing happens and we fade to black. First one to die off should start a ‘I made it to heaven’ thread.

Sean Law said
Too bad we will never know the truth until you die.

I want to believe, but theres not enough evidence to convince me. 

And all the contradictions of religious nuts and their actions makes me turn my head

Do you turn your head towards anything?

if you’re an athiest the you’re guaranteed to go nowhere when you die.. or hell

so you might as well pick something ..xenu seems legit