No, fuck you

Sounds like you dont brush on the reg.

the_almighty_smack said
seriously this Sunday I ate some general tao chicken from this vietnamese place and I ended up cracking my wisdom tooth the fucker got a severe infection and now I have to take penecillin 4 times a day for 7 days before they yank it it hurts like hell and I refuse to take pain meds, I had to take sick days off at work for this bullshit .

 

never again will I eat Asian food even if its free and I am starving fuck that shit.

Hahahahahahaha. Again, hahahahahahaha. That’s what you get for being a piece of lowlife shit. You deserve that to happen, and it did. Seriously, who cracks a tooth on some chicken? That’s the hand of God right there, that and a lot of neglect on the dental hygiene side of things. 

I used to work at a legit Japanese restaurant in NC. Their food was amazing. Whenever I’m in town they to this day send me out free sushi. They treated me great for what it was and that food.. goddamn. They fed me three meals a day as I worked two shifts a day. Chinese is different… the good quality kind is few and far between. The Chinese buffet just up the road got busted for using pigeon meat as chicken.

And Smack, your tooth would’ve broken at some point either that day or within the week. Be it on Asian food or poutine ahyuck ahyuck. I had cavities despite a life of brushing and mouthwash. Ain’t no shame.

LuckyNumbrXIII said
It’s like… ketchup and polly-o cheese.  Fucking dreadful.  

I lived in SC for 3 years, and I remember people would open up shops and be like, “Authentic Brooklyn Pizza!”  And we’d go, and they’d really be from Brooklyn.  I’d talk about the neighborhoods and everything, and they’d be like, “Yeah, I grew up in Bed-stuy, went to such and such school…”  so I’d be like… THIS IS IT!  I’m gonna have NYC pizza.  Then I’d eat it and be like, “FUUUUUUUCK!  It’s not the same!”  And they’d be like, “I know, I dunno what the fuck is wrong.” Then they’d close down once the lease was up.  I assume they either killed themselves or went back to Brooklyn.  

 

With Chinese, it’d be like, people are like, “this place is the best.”  I’d order it and be like, “it tastes like chicken nuggets drowned in bbq sauce….”  I’d get dumplings and they’d be like… frozen ravioli with no sauce.  And I’d get sushi and it’s just like… cat food.  They’d recommend a different place and same shit.  They’d just be like, “You’re just being a dick because you’re from NYC.  That’s not the best city ever.” 

 

I’d play “Josie” by The Outfield then 

I’d be like, “It’s not, but the food is better than this!”

 

Long story short: I feel sorry for people that don’t live in the Northeast.

Key word crack almighty smack tha crack head real juggalos teeth dont break on Chinese chicken unless u on that meth or crack simple science my toothless nugga

the Chinese buffet is good but some times i want that american, and there aint one around. there are three Chinese buffets in my city alone but if i want american i have to drive 40min to the Golden Corral, and that place is nasty, iv’e never seen so many lower class people literally fighting over food anywhere else. fucking food all over the floor, nasty little kids sticking there disgusting hands in the chocolate fountain, everything is sticky from the cotton-candy they serve. the only good time at the Corral is breakfast whit all the old people.

LuckyNumbrXIII said
I don’t eat Korean.  Too much “dong.”

 

 

But seriously, real Chinese food… you probably wouldn’t enjoy it.  I sure as hell don’t.  Those motherfuckers eat pond scum, raw eggs, and live squids.  Thai food is probably my favorite.  Place by me makes Pad Thai “Old Country Style” which I always feel like Iron Sheik when I order it.  It’s basically the spiciest shit you could ever eat.  You sweat by smelling it and it clears your sinuses, it’s sooo facking delicious.  Only problem is it burns your asshole on the way out sometimes.  Like, I’ll blow a fart and it’ll feel like there’s a space heater in my drawers… it opens the gates of hell in your colon.  Sometimes it doesn’t happen though, it’s weird.  It’s like roulette.

 

KKudos on the wretched and colorful description… I agree Thai is good shit. They made a fucking radish dish cooked into something that tasted superb. Indian is okay, and I think that often their “spicy” flavors can hit the tastebuds with more of a cloying, distractingly bitter palate. The Indian place in my town is good and all, but the gorgeous young girl that runs it, well one time she forgot about us for forty five minutes. I had a rumbling gumbo of an aching diarrhea stew brewing almost ten minutes after eating whatever the fuck it was that I ate. Their only tiny bathroom was right next to a dining couple, and I didn’t want to disturb their quality of life by bellowing baritone booty blasts beside them. She finally returned, and I was a second away from soiling myself. That food worked FAST. 

I know a guy who shit on the floor at a Burger King. He’s not cool though; he’s a rapist.  

I’ll take a Chinese buffet over American style any day of the week. Motherfucking sushi, eggrolls, Chinese donuts, sweet and sour chicken and the general and teriyaki. Damn I’m getting hungry now.   MCL.

 

You do realize that the only thing more “American style” than takeout Chinese is Chinese buffet right?  Sweet and sour chicken is American as it gets. And sushi is Japanese. I mean… this post has to be a joke.

Well considering that I’ve been to both China and Japan I didn’t think it was a joke. Most Chinese buffets are a mix of Chinese, Japanese, Korean and a little bit of American style. You can say that Chinese food is nasty, but those fuckers live longer than people in the US, we are lucky to live into our 80s but they live into their 90s to 100s no problem mostly because of what they eat. And don’t get me started on sushi, most of it here in the states is nothing but watered down bullshit like the California sushi roll.

I have a ponderosa in the city where I live, don’t go to it much though. The best American Buffet for me was fire mountain, but old country buffet owned it and when they went bankrupt they closed them all. Anyone ever try the kfc buffets? They are hard to find but pretty damn good.

MCL.