6/3/00 , Columbia, SC

What up Juggalos this is Southern Crumpet aka Southern Comfort (As Big Blaze likes to call me now) with my second report from the Bizzar/Bizaar Tour. For any idiots that don't know, this tour features Marz, Blaze, Anbody Killa and the Don Megas, ICP. So strap yourself in as I tell you the story of one fresh night of pure insanity where one town would never be the same again... check it out: Today was a day off which we spent in a little hill billy ass town in the middle of the woods in South Carolina. The day started around 3 pm because everyone was dead tired from the dope ass show the night before.

First thing that we did was we all hit up the bowling alley across the way from our hotel. ICP and the guys are not big fans of bowling or anything, but what the hell else is there to do in South Carolina? We set up 2 teams. I teamed up with Shaggy, Marz, and Patrick. We were called "The Skinny Ninjas". We went up against J, Blaze Ya Dead Homie and Anbody Killa. They were called "The Fat Kids". We had our own dance going on when we hit a Strike or a Spare. We called it "The Spare Dance". Seeing as how I'm not the best dancer, it was a good thing we didn't get to use our dance much. Of course the only way J and his team could win was if he kept on cheating.

J was sliding on the floor in front of us when we tried to get our bowl on. When it was his tern, he would carry the bowling ball half way down the lane and then throw it at the pins. The ninjas working at the bowling ally weren't having it. After we got thrown out, everyone went over to the closest strip club called "Bottoms Up". Everybody was gettin' there freak on dancing on all the titty dancers. Psychopathic ran that bitch. Right away they paid off the DJ and told him to only play Michael Jackson, Prince, Pearl Jam and all this other crap that Violent J likes. The DJ's did it. Psychopathic was up in there ballin'. Every girl was all on our dicks.

J told this girl to leave and let him hit it at his hotel room. The girl was actually all about it! She went in the back to change into her real cloths and suddenly we left! I cant believe that J left that girl hangin'! She was gonna fuck him! But something more important had suddenly come up. Something that means a lot to Violent J and Blaze... Waffle House. Right out of nowhere, J, Blaze and myself just got up and walked out. We had decided to go get some eats at the Waffle House. It was funny because once we got there, Violent J decided to spit some game to the redneck waitress! This bitch had no teeth.

She wasn't about J at all (had to have been the poison ivy all over J's face that scared her away). Anyway, after we ate, we went back to the Bus. We turned out the lights and lit some candles. There we all just chilled and we played the whole new Dark Lotus album. It was my first time hearing it. It freaked me out and I've been a long time Juggalo for many many years. But this shit was crazy! We was half way through the second track when the bus started to shake and and the candles began to flicker. Maybe it was a storm brewing and a gust of wind hit the bus.. maybe.

I think it wasn't the weather at all... I think it was the Spirit of the Dark Carnival closing in on us. You all might think I'm crazy, but when you hear the album, you'll all know what I'm talking about. If everyone had not arrived back to the bus just then, I believe we would have been consumed by the Spirits. Ninjas, I must tell you that i have never heard such wicked shit as the new Dark Lotus album.

I honestly must say this will hit the world like a deadly gas consuming and turning everyone in to a Juggalo. It will be a new era of life as we know it. After all that I was ready to sleep. Shaggy was drunk as he usually is at this time of day. He kept telling me he wanted to hump me. I knew he was kidding but it still was scary. Fuck it. I went to bed. Tomorrow we have a show in South Carolina somewhere and I'll be back to tell you ninjas all about it! Until then peace!

6/4/00 @ Ground Zero, Spartanburg, SC

What up Ninjas! This is Southern Crumpet coming to you once again with the latest news from ICP's Bizaar/Bizzar Tour. Today we are in Spartanburg, SC to do a show at a place called Ground Zero. It's a small venue, packed full of Juggalos and it was very hot inside. This was one crazy night that was pure madness and fun. The day started off at around 3pm when everyone first woke up. We all walked over to a Wendy's to stuff our faces. After we was all done getting some food, we headed back to the bus to just chill. Everyone tried to call over these 2 little hot bitches from across the street sitting on there front porch. They had heard of ICP but they thought it was a wrestling team.

J then proceeded to school them on the history of Insane Clown Posse. He told them he was a musician with a fat ass money roll and for some reason they started to become more interested in what he had to say. We then invited them to come see the show and we told them where it was at. After they had left we realized that we told them the wrong venue. So what. Fuck them hoes. We walked through some woods and fucked around a bit until it got close to show time. Everybody got ready and we was off to the venue. When we got there, it had already been trashed. There was Juggalos covered in blood and mad cops were everywhere.

It looked like a riot scene. Juggalos had taking over the place. When Marz was doing there set a panel from the ceiling fell down on top of some Juggalos, who then decided to throw it up on stage. The Club was hot as hell inside and everyone was sweating balls. What made it worst was the crazy ninjas in back of the club that were setting everything they could find on fire during Blaze's Performance. I mean hell, we don't mind an occasional fire or arson here and there but it was already hot as fuck in this club. After the stage was cleared off, the lights went down and once again The Dark Carnival had entered the building. Shaggy and J took the stage.

The temperature rose 100 more degrees. J decided to finish the show early because mad ninjas was passing out everywhere from the heat. The crowd was hyped up from the moment the music began, bodies were flying through the air and Juggalos where singing to every word. But it had to stop! Ninjas were almost dying from the heat. To finish off the show with a Bang J then called for Juggalos that could handle it to join them up on stage. Before you knew it there was 1000 ninjas climbing the rafters and hanging from the ceiling like SpiderMan. Everybody was all singing the words to "Let's Go All The Way".

When the show was over, the Juggalos then took it outside to the streets having Faygo wars which was soon broke up by the local cops. Juggalos in South Carolina are crazy as fuck. We here at Psychopathic are sorry that the show had to be cut down some, but ninjas was loosing air quick! We had to save Juggalo lives! Well that's all for this report Juggalos. Everyone is fixing to crash for the night and head back to Detroit for tomorrow's day off. I'm excited because I have never been to Psychopathic Records Office complex before. Tomorrow I will see it for the very first time. Also for the next 2 days I'll be staying at J's house along with Marz and them. So tomorrow I should have some interesting shit to tell y'all. Peace and clown love. Southern Crumpet out this piece! Your Juggalo, Southern Crumpet

6/6 @ Psychopathic Office and J's house , Detroit, MI

Juggalos and Juggalettes for those that have been in a cave for the last week my name is Southern Crumpet and I will be bringing all the Ninjas a sneak peek into the life of ICP on the Bizzar/Bizaar tour. Anyway this is the report for the second day off and it's in Detroit at the Psychopathic Office, so let me tell you about it: We left J's crib around 2pm to head for the office. When we arrived I headed upstairs to do a report for you Juggalos. When I was done with the report, I started to go back downstairs when I was stopped by JumpSteady to help him on a movie that will be released upon you ninjas at the Gathering of the Juggalos.

The name of the movie is "Big Silver" but the rest is top secret and i would have to kill you if i told you anymore. However seeing as I love all you Juggalos I did take a couple pics from the making of this movie. Anyway after everyone was done with making the movie, I went back into the office and talked to JumpSteady about the Gathering this year. It will be packed with mad freshness so if you don't have you tickets go get one. We also have the Rude Boy back on the tour with us. Well, at 2am the bus arrives to pick everyone up to go to the next show. well until then Juggalos, I'm out.

6/7 @ The Silo, Reading, PA

What up Y'all!.....this is Southern Crumpet coming at you with all the latest info on the Bizzar/Bizaar tour. So strap yourself in and hold your wigs cause they bout to get split by all the dope stuff that happened today.... Check it out: Today we are in Reading, PA there is a show tonight so everyone is basically laid back just chilling. Earlier Kaos from Marz pulled out his 9mm BB gun to bust off some rounds. I gave him a real target and put a can of Faygo on my head. Well, I gotta say I ain't going to run if they pull a gun on me cause none of those bitches hit the target.

After that it was around the time for everyone to start getting ready for the show. Marz kicked it off with a very wild performance, Marz just came in and told me to tell everyone that when he jumped into the crowd some bitch ass hoe did a "kung-fu grip on his dick" he also made it clear for that girl to give him a call sometime. When Marz was done, it was time for our dead homie Blaze to hit the stage with Anybody Killa. Juggalos were really getting down to this at one point there were more Juggalos on stage then I could count.

After Blaze's set, the lights dimmed and J and Shaggy came out......Wait a minute.....That's not ICP! But there dressed in ICP's make-up! They are dancing and singing to ICP's song! Hold up... I know those two faces... It's the Rude Boy and Nate the Mack dressed as J and Shaggy! Some comedy in the house. After that the Juggalos were ready for the real thing. Suddenly outcome the real wicked clowns ICP to wreck shit. Ninjas were taking over the stage. Stage diving, mosh pitting. Shit half the crowd was on stage. One kid got on stage and then ran and jumped off into the crowd feet first knocking Juggalos over like bowling pins.

Violent J was quick to see this and proceeded to kick the kid right in his grill. Fuck that kid. Killin' Juggalos isn't showin' any clown love! At one point in the show the barricade came down and mad people were crushed. Finally it reached complete insanity when Violent J invited his homies on stage. Blaze, Anybody Killa, Rude Boy, Nate the Mack and of course Marz all jumped out and began dumping Faygo on ninjas. The stage looked like a waterfall of Faygo drowning the Juggalos. Finally all 1200 Juggalos rushed the stage as ICP invited them up and the show was over.

Whew. I cant believe I survived this show. Later that night there were still crazy amounts of Juggalos hanging around outside the venue. They ended up hangin' out there for half the night. Just chillin' and Faygo swiggin'. It was cool as hell. While I sit in the bus typing this, everyone is steady getting up and getting ready to head out for some grub. After that, I think we're gonna head out to the local strip club. Plus I can smell the pizza burning so i'm out, Peace. Keepin it Real 24/7.

6/9 @ The Chance, Poughkeepsie, NY

What up Juggalos? We are in Poughkeepsie, NY. Tonight ICP will play in front of 1000+ Juggalos. Its a later show tonight and ICP don't go on until 11:30pm. So it should be the shit. Nate the Mack is still with us but unfortunately this will be the last show for him. He's going back home. So the Juggalos at this show are very lucky, cause they aren't seeing Insane Clown Posse on stage. They're actually seeing the Inner City Posse. Them 4 ninjas started this shit. Nate the Mack will always be loved by us Juggalos. Everybody slept most of the day off, but when we did get up, at around 4:30pm, we all went to the mall. We were all hungry and the mall had a Bennigan's.

We had 2 semi good lookin' bitches working our tables. Everyone started tryng to kick game to them. We told them to come see the show and after that to come holla at us at the telly. One of the bitches came to the show but was with bout 5 ninjas. We told her to dump those niggas and come chill with us but she wasn't having' it. Fuck her. Also in this mall there was already Juggalos painted up walking around representing the Dark Carnival. We were at the mall for a lil while and then we headed back to the telly to get ready for the show. SHOW TIME BABY!

Marz opened up the night. Juggalos were going crazy when Marz jumped into the crowd. He had to be pulled back on the stage to safety by Squeaky and his crew. Unfortunately Marz did lose his panties that where on his head. So if you seen 'em give us at Psychopathic a holla. After Maz, about 20 minutes or so went by when suddenly the lights dimmed! A Haunting sound came out the speaker. Loud voices were talking bout "being back from the dead and shit" over the deep bass rumble. Then the lights kicked on and the voice said "His name is Blaze Ya Dead Homie mutha fucka!!!".

Juggalos went crazy. Blaze and Anybody Killa was rocking the crowd. I thought the roof was tearing off. It was a crazy fresh set. Then the real shit started when ICP came out. It got crazy as fuck. Nate the Mac and Rude Boy started off the madness. They did the same Fake ICP thing they did yesterday, where they were painted up as J and Shaggy and once again it worked. The Juggalos all bought it. Rude Boy and Nate The Mack jumped on stage fooling the crowd, started lip-syncing ICP on stage when suddenly the real Violent J and Shaggy came out. They told all the Juggalos to welcome Nate and Rudy! Juggalos went nuts screaming and chanting.

The venue was small and had no barricade which made the show all the more insane. At the end of the show once again, ICP called for all REAL Juggalos to get on stage. He said "This ain't no ICP show... this is a Juggalo show!". Mad ninjas rushed on stage and Juggalo Heaven was in the air. ICP really do believe that every concert they do is a Juggalo Concert and not an ICP show. They love y'all. That's even why I'm here. Because they want the Juggalos to know that they love you all. They hired me to tell y'all over the internet just that everyday! Anyway back to the show. Ninjas was all over the place. They was on stage, up in the balcony's and hanging from the fuckin' speakers.

I managed to get a couple of pictures before all the Faygo finally took its toll on my camera. It is now dead, but that does not mean no more pictures. We will be getting a NEW camera! You see, nothing can stop us from getting the Dark Carnival to all you Juggalos on the internet. Yes, well after the show, all the Juggalos were being thrown out by the cops, and we all walked back into the staleness of what is reality. A few Juggalettes came back to chill with us on the bus. J pulled his mack tactics and before you knew it he was tapping this one hot chick's neden. Everyone was drinking on the $100 alcohol bottle that we purchased from the hotel bar.

We had to get our booze from the bar because Poughkeepsie was pretty stale and all the liquor stores close at midnight. Fuck it, everyone wanted to celebrate the last day that Nate the Mac would be with us. Everyone was doing there thing kickin' it with these Juggalettes and fuckin' and gettin' drunk while Shaggy was playing all the old school shit we grew up on to the stereo. It was an all together fresh ass night and I am so proud to be working here at Psychopathic. I'm looking forward to fuckin' schooling it and becoming a Don one day on all y'all asses. So, thank you to all the ninjas out there showing love and I hope you all are enjoying my reports. I'm out this bitch. Southern Crumpet, Getting Crunk Bitch.

6/11 @ J's House and the Psychopathic Office, Detroit, MI

What up Juggalos!.......Back in Detroit for the big homecoming show tomorrow, everyone is mad hyped, especially Violent J and Shaggy. Of course, so am I. This is my first Detroit show that isn't Hallowicked or the Gathering of the Juggalos so it will definitely be a great experience to see how Juggalos are here compared to everywhere else. Anyway let me tell you about today. The bus rolled into the Psychopathic headquarters around 2:30 pm and the first thing I did was go inside to put up my reports for you Juggalos. Well I did get a new camera to use for the rest of the tour and to take pictures of ICP and everyone in the studio when we get back.

After I was done, we headed back to J's house to chill and relax a little bit. J had to run back to the office to do some Dark Carnival shit, he does this a lot because lets face it, he is a muthafuckin' Don. Marz, Kaos and I decided to go for a walk into the surrounding woods. It's pretty rare to see Crumpet put on his walking shoes but hey i'm in Detroit, so why not. Well, after walking for about 5 miles and getting lost, we decide to try and find our way back to J's house. When we finally we got back, everyone was basically all chilled out and for the first time I witnessed J sign on to his AOL account.

Juggalos, I have never in my life seen anything like it and because of this I am going to write for you a special Southern Crumpet report strictly on this. I am not going to say anything about it on this report because it deserves a whole page. Well after that everyone went and sat down in the true G's room to watch some TV. Sitting down I realized that its pretty damn amazing to be working for Psychopathic and that you ICP fans are truly blessed because Psychopathic makes every one of you Juggalos' dreams come true if you really want it. I will be back tomorrow with another crazy ass report on the Detroit show. Well i am pretty damn tired from the long ass walk, So until tomorrow's report. I'm out this piece. Southern Crumpet, Psychopathic 4 Life!

6/13 @ On the Lake, Detroit, MI

What up Juggalos?, Today is one of the freshest days off had here at Psychopathic so far, it was dope as hell. Let me tell you about this day packed full of freshness.... It started around 3pm when Billy Bill, Ry Ry and Juble arrived at J's house to go to a lake for some jet skiing and to chill, get our drink on Billy's boat. We loaded up J's jet skis, went to Billy's to picked up his huge boat. It can fit bout 25 ninjas on it, it's fuckin' huge. After we picked up the Jaeger and some beer we toke the boat and jet skis down to a lake by Billy's house which was packed with fine ass hos even though it was a Tuesday.

The whole time the boat that Billy was toeing down to the lake looked like it was about to fall off the trailer that was carrying it, but it made it. When we got the jet skis and boat in the water we headed out, J took out the one of the jet skis and was doing fine, until he got on the smaller one. He looked like he was trying to do all kinds of tricks when really he was just busting his ass in style. We went to a little island in the center of the lake were me and J tied ourselves to the back of the jet ski and let it drag us out.

After i was thrown off and couple times, so i said "fuck it!", but J proceeded to come up with new ideas tying the rope to his life jacket and finally he was able to stay on and it dragged him out about 30 ft for everyone, it was dope. Kaos and Ry Ry were fishing, they caught a couple huge ass fish that looked like jaws or something. J and Marz decided to swim out about 100 ft until we had to go rescue them. When we decided to head back in it was around 8pm, when we loaded up trucks we headed back to Billy's house.

After chilling there for a couple minutes it was back to J's house. Where we all took a shower got into dry clothes and watched Justice files. Its very hard to explain what a great time was had by everyone, So I hoped I made it sound fresh. Anyway we are all of to Missouri for a show tomorrow so I will be back to tell you about that. Peace out Juggalos. Southern Crumpet

June 14, 2001 Columbia, MO: The Blue Note

Damn Juggalos! I wish I could sit here and tell you what a great day we had today, but the truth is it wasn't a great day. Well, don't get me wrong the day started out perfect and carried on to be perfect, but I don't know how a day of such freshness can turn so stale. Check it out... We arrived in Columbia, Missouri around 12:30pm to our hotel, everyone went about there own thing, until it was time to get some food. As we drove down the street J was quick to stop and point out a huge inflatable wrestling ring, it was mad dope. He was talking about putting it up in his backyard.

We all went to some BBQ place which served decent food but everyone in this bitch was a hound dog. So we were quick to leave. Well we went back to the bus where Shaggy worked on his velvet coloring pad he had got the night before ( Hey, it's a long journey. Got to do something to take away the time). When it was close to showtime, everyone went to get ready. When I arrived to the venue with Marz, we went down to the dressing room, you could hear the Juggalos screaming and chanting "ICP".

After the lights went down and the sirens started it was time for Marz to go out and rock the crowd. Juggalos loved the performance, Marz and Kaos performed very hard because Blaze was not there to follow up. When Marz had finished it was time for the Dark Carnival to enter the venue, meaning it was time for the wicked clowns. When the fog filled the stage and the music began out come the first masked clown waving his flag, then another one. As they stood on the rotating platforms you could see the shadows of ICP begin to get closer on to stage, Then the crowd went nuts as the Don Megas came out.

It was the last show of the Bizzar/Bizaar Tour and J was quick to announce that he wouldn't care where it was at, China or fucking Baghdad as long as he was performing in front of you Juggalos. At the end of the show, Shaggy threw out his guitar and J his chair. And they continued to throw out as much Faygo as possible. When it came time to close the show J asked all the Juggalos to get up on stage. Juggalos packed the tiny stage. When the stage was consumed by mad ninjas, we had to escape from the back door.

Patrick, J, Shaggy and Rude Boy dipped out in the Cadillac to go back to the hotel and take a shower and all that good stuff. I stayed behind with Marz where we signed some autographs and talked to the Juggalos. About an hour went by and we're like "where the fuck is Patrick?" See, Patrick was coming back to pick us up when he dropped them off. As we chilled there I saw Patrick run in and out, So we were like "what the fuck?!". When another half an hour went by someone finally came up and was like J has been arrested. We immediately jumped in the ride that Patrick had come in and dipped the fuck back to the hotel to meet up with everyone. When we arrived we found out the whole story of what had happened.

Here is Rude Boy's explanation of what happened: After rocking the 1200 Juggalos at the Blue Note Theater, Violent J, Shaggy 2 Dope, myself (Rude Boy) and Patrick all left the theater on our way to the hotel. When I spotted a cop car pull behind us there was nothing wrong with that but for the next 7 blocks there were at least 3 cop cars on each block. So they finally pulled us over at a gas station 3 miles from the venue, First they ordered Patrick to shut the car off, then ordered all of us to put our hands in the air, they ordered J out of the car first, then they ordered Shaggy out of the car followed by myself then Patrick.

They ordered our faces on the ground, which by the way it had been raining all night so our faces were really in puddles of water. They hand cuffed each of us placed us in seperate cars and began questioning us like "whats you name and date of birth?",  all that shit. I finally said "what are we being charged with?" and finally this cop said "We're not charging you with shit!, its Joe Bruce who we are looking for. He beat down a St. Louis DJ" . Now you Juggalos are probably wondering why they took us 3 miles away from the venue its simple they didn't want a fucking Juggalo riot.

So they chickened out and took us away from the venue, now my homie J is still in jail as I write this. What I'd like to say to that pussy ass DJ is quit being a fucking bitch and be a man. Remember you were man enough to talk shit about the Juggalos and ICP so you should be man enough to expect the ass whipping you received (allegedly). Well I am pissed that a petty ass little DJ would be such a little bitch and cause all this drama cause he got his ass stomped (allegedly) by the ICP crew about a year ago or something.

Right now our homie is sitting in jail because of that little fuck. It was such a great show to end of a great tour, and then this. Fuck it Juggalos I'm out i will inform you of any other shit that goes down with J. 

6/16 @ J's old hood and Mike P's crib, Detroit, MI

Whoa Juggalos! It's been mind-blowing day to day so check this out: first off J got back from being in lock-down at around 6am this morning. So as you can imagine the day didn't start until late afternoon 4pm to be exact. When we were up and ready we made a little trip to the office so J could pick up his shit that had to be left there cause no one knew when he was getting the fuck outta jail. After we did that, it was off to go check out the hood that J grew up in til he was 16. I saw were he went to school and even were the picture of J and Shaggy leaning on the fence in the Wicked Clownz comic was taken.

Even though the area had changed and moved up in the world, J couldn't believe that there was now coffee houses and family restaurants on the street that he had once run as a little thug. After that we headed to G-man's and Mike P's (he makes the beats, for those that don't know) house to work on a project that will be revealed to you ninja's at the Gathering of the Juggalos. Everyone started to get hungry so we went down to a place to get some food where it was so packed J had to park in a non parking section.

When everyone was done eating we walked to the truck and found a nice ticket waiting for us. Well, we decided to drive around and check out the ghetto where J lived when he moved in with the Rude Boy at 16. As we drove round you could see ICP tags all over even though most were covered up you could still see what it said. When we drove behind one building there was a bad ass ICP tag that also referred to ghetto zone. J said he didn't even know who did that one but it was fresh nonetheless. He also pointed out the tree that the was used in the photo for the cover of dog beats.

Of course there was even more freshness to come J took us to see Zug Island industrial waste zone for the Juggalos that have heard the songs "Toxic Love" and "The Smog" plus more this place is real and inspired those lyrics. Well, as we were driven, I couldn't help but notice a bad ass condemned building that looked very familiar it was the building that was used for the Riddlebox pictures (such as the poster). How could you end such a day well first you start off by calling a bunch of bitches and getting some alcohol and having a party a Mike P's crib.

Well, J and everyone was busting out karaoke style doing all the Pearl Jam and other great rock hits. But what Juggalos really wanna know about today is what the hell happened to J while he was locked up well why don't I let him tell you in his own words cause he did a little special report for you, which I will post a little later on. Southern Crumpet, giving the Juggalos the shit that you wanna know about ICP