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Hatchetman
The Masked Ninja's Reports.
November 8, 2017
11:31 pm
Oolong Johnson
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The Masked Ninja Report 6-7-00 (Milwaukee, WI)

 

What's up my ninja friends, today we were in Milwaukee, WI and boy was it stale. We didn't do shit besides go to eat at a BW3 and head to the venue. At the venue we waited to go onstage and everyone chilled in the dressing room where Shaggy was running around taping shit for "The Shaggy Show." Speaking of "The Shaggy Show," we caught exclusive footage of Capt. Condom Battling against Spiderman near the hotel pool. You will have to see that shit to believe it ninjas. It was crazy fresh. Also making an appearance on "The Shaggy Show" was some chick. You have to get that one from http://www.insaneclownposse.com because http://www.realjuggalos.com can't put naked chicks on their site.

Anyway, the show tonight was at The Rave. We have been here many times, so we knew we were instore for one hell of a show. We had exactly that. The show was the shit. There were Faygos flying in every direction, there were clowns with silly string, everyone was going fuckin nuts, and the juggalos loved every minute of it. After the show, we bounced back to the telly with a quickness, so everyone could get showers. Once everyone was ready to go we headed for the bus. When we opened the bus door we were all surprised as fuck to see Violent J's faggot ass friend Moon Glorious chillin waiting to show us some more magic tricks.

Everyone let him chill for a while until his magic aimed towards mens meats, at that time he had to bounce. So we kicked Moon's faggot ass off the bus, and headed out of town where we stopped and ate at the Iron Skillet. That place takes its name too serious because my Grilled Cheese sandwich was iron as well. That thing was harder then the time Eminem is facing right now. What could I do but eat the brick sandwich with cheese? It was 2 in the morning and I just wanted to sleep. Now I am in my bunk, I am done with the day, so I am out like Eminem at concealed weapons class.

Whoop Whoop Oolong Johnson :

RenoRyda
November 8, 2017
11:53 pm
Oolong Johnson
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The Masked Ninja Report (Minneapolis, MN) 6-16-00

 

Welcome back my friends, to the ever informative Masked Ninja. Well let me tell you all that the last week has been full of action, even though we missed a few shows. We schooled the Howard Stern show on what exactly was the story behind all the Slim Anus allegations, on top of that we schooled Denver DJ Willie B on the story as well. The rest of the week ICP was in the studio and partaking in meetings concerning their new double album, Bizaar/Bizzar. While we were back in Detroit, the Slim Anus story was all over the news, radio, newspapers and magazines, and I can guarantee that every one of those stories is false. ICP had nothing to do with it.

The only person that was there was Dougie Doug, and Slim Anus tried to jack his super fresh Psychopathic jacket (at least that's what we think he probably wanted). That is news you will only find here from the Masked Ninja. No other news source took the time to delve deep into the story to find the real dirt. Neither Shaggy 2 Dope or Violent J was at the scene, so ignore anything you hear that is saying they were. Now, we have a packed bus out for this leg of the tour. First of all, the "Crew Bus" is jammed packed with the usual ninjas, but this time even our bus is packed. Besides Violent J and Shaggy we got Tom Dub, Rude Boy (who's back on the scene once again), FxCKFACE, Pat Tanaka, and even ICP's homie Big Russ (aka JCW's Big Flame).

I have no idea why Big Flame is here, because this ain't no fuckin' wrestling tour anymore. The only thing he is trying to wrestle now is his dick into buttholes (Of course I'm playin'). That may be the whole reason he is here? My speculation is that he is here waiting to hang out with Moon Glorious (If you've seen any of The Shaggy Show clips you know who that is), but like I said, that is merely speculation on my part. Everyone woke up today and we went to grab some snacks. Violent J drove us all in the fresh mini van that we always toe behind our bus. He claimed he knew where we we're going but after an hour and a half of driving in circles, we all realized that he didn't know shit. Finally we found an Applebees.

Once everyone ate we came back to the bus to prepare for tonight's show, in other words, sit on our ass doing nothing at all. Tonight's show was the shit straight up! There were mad ninjas there and the chants of "ICP! ICP! ICP!" were crazy loud. ICP took every Juggalo there to school. Once it was all said and done everyone at the Quest had a diploma in Juggaloism. After the show, we raced back to the telly to clean the Faygo from our inner asses. Everyone took showers, except J and Shaggy who rarely ever do. That's crazy because they get the most Faygo and yet they are so used to it they rarely shower after shows. The only time they shower is if they get spit on a lot during the shows. They hate that shit. Anyway, MOST of us showered and headed to TGI Fridays, where we got mad snacks.

After we were all fed our heavy asses, we headed back to the bus, where we had a special surprise just chillin' in our bus. If you remember earlier in this report I speculated on Big Flame and Moon Glorious. Well, to add to that speculation, I think Big Flame called Moon Glorious and invited him to the bus, because to our surprise there was Moon Glorious chillin' in our bus waiting for Big Flame. As the conversation went on we were all hilariously stunned when Moon Glorious dropped all interest for Big Flame and exposed his so called love for former WWF superstar Pat Tanaka, or as he had painted on his ripped chest, Tap Akanat. After we got Moon Glorious' faggot ass (once again his being gay is purely speculation on my part) off the bus and wiped the tears away from Big Flame's red face, we were all astounded once again by some super ninja who called himself Evil C.

Now I, the Masked Ninja, have never seen this super ninja. I have only heard bizarre stories throughout the offices of Psychopathic Records. Evil C was just nuts. He rushed into the bus flexing on Shaggy and Pat Tanaka, then when FxCKFACE tried to take him Evil C knocked him out with ease. After that Big Flame took a shot at Evil C, but was quickly chocked out by the super skills of Evil C. Before anyone could realize what the fuck was going on Evil C was nowhere to be seen. All I can say is that he is lucky the Masked Ninja didn't get a hold of his neck, because I'll, I'll... well I don't know what I'd do but it would be deadly. This Evil C ninja looked a lot like Tom Dub in a lame ass villain mask, but Dub denies all the allegations.

I personally think it is Tom Dub because every time Evil C attacks, Dub is nowhere to be found. Who knows? As a true ninja I will not speculate on what I would do, but just know that if I ever see Evil C, I will fuck him up beyond your belief, cause I am a ninja like that. Now we are all headed to Duluth, MN because tomorrows show in Sioux Falls, SD was cancelled. The reason behind this is because some super freaky religious protestors had the venues balls slammed against a bed of nails insisting that they pull out on the show. So, as many people would, the venue pulled out and told us not to bother showing up because they cancelled the show. Well I guess that is about it for our ever eventful day, so until next time out like Evil C will be when he meets the Masked Ninja.

Whoop Whoop Oolong Johnson :

kingshiro, RenoRyda
November 9, 2017
12:38 am
Oolong Johnson
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The Masked Ninja (Duluth, MN) day off 6-17-00

 

What the fuck is up, all you ever so eager Faygoholics? Today we had a day off due to mad crazy religious protestors in Sioux Falls, SD. So for all you ninjas that got that bone, it was beyond our control, that shit happens sometimes. With that bone out of the way lets get into what our day consisted of. Today was a super fresh day. There was some crazy ass marathon in this town so there were crazy fresh ninjas roaming everywhere in the town. It is super speculation that Violent J even won the marathon, but due to the fact that everyone that finished got a medal and he didn't have shit I hardly think he won shit. I doubt he even ran, let alone walked one foot in that fuckin' marathon.

After that we all bounced to a new hotel because our original one was right in the middle of the marathon mayhem. Once that was out of the way, we did a few things, such as driving all over in every direction looking for who the fuck knows what. Let me tell you all, this town is so stale it felt as if we were in a third world country or some shit. The fuckin' mall closed at 6 o clock on a Saturday! What the fuck does that tell you all? On top of that, the movie theater sucked and Tom Dub couldn't find a Coke Slurpee! Now you have all probably seen these super fresh Slurpees at your local Burger King, but up here in Duluth, Canada they haven't got the technology yet.

Like I said the movie theater sucked, but we all had a super fresh time watching the new Shaft! That movie is off the fuckin' hook, I strongly suggest all you ninjas see that shit A.S.AP. Once the movie was done we all headed out on the highway for a 40 min drive to a casino. We were all super geeked, but when we got there Tom Dub couldn't get in. It appeared that here in Canada they don't accept American passports, so we immediately bounced the fuck back on the highway. We headed straight back to stale ass Duluth and hit that casino, but ol' Dub got the bone once again. This time the rest of us stayed since the bus was only 5 minutes away. While he went to look for his ID, we all got our gamble on.

A few hours later everyone was asshole broke, except for Shaggy, who had the trout power kickin' in super effect. Don't worry about the trout power at this time I am saving that for a stale day to let you all in on it. Once we left the super bootleg casino, we hit the grocery store for snacks, and came back to the bus where everyone was in the mood for Perkins for some food. While we were eating Violent J informed us that a new person would be joining for the rest of the tour, so I will tell you more about him once I find out who he is and all. Also, while we were eating I heard talk about the Shaggy Show filming for the day, so be on the look out for some super fresh flavor on the Shaggy Show here in a day or two. We try to get those out as quick as possible, but the weekends make a little tough at times. It is now 8 in the morning and this ninja is tired so I am out like my pockets at the casino. Until next time, peace.

Whoop Whoop Oolong Johnson :

RenoRyda
November 9, 2017
1:37 am
Oolong Johnson
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The Masked Ninja Report (Duluth, Canada) 6-18-00

 

Today was a super fresh day full of nothing! This town has jack shit to do. Some of us woke up at around 2 o clock, but J and Shaggy didn't get up until around 6. We had to be at the venue at 7:30 so we had to hurry up and eat. We went to the Ground Round, and everyone got super fed. As soon as we were done it was off to the Shrine Auditorium, where we destroyed everyone in attendance. I am here to tell you that the crowd tonight will never see a show that fresh come through that town for years to come. Duluth, Canada was schooled super hard in the teachings of the Dark Carnival. On top of that, the Rude Boy gave an awesome introduction to the crowd getting everyone excited about the gathering.

If you don't know by now the Gathering of the Juggalos is in Novi, MI on July 21st and 22nd and it is going to be the ATOM BOMB!!! After the show though, your friend and mine (sometimes) Shaggy 2 Dope, filmed some super duper death defying stunt for his mega hit internet show, "The Shaggy Show." That is all I am telling you for now you will have to see this for yourselves. Also, on this film is Esham, the Rude Boy, and Violent J so be sure to go check it out. Once that super craziness was over we decided to dip out of Canada and head back to Detroit so ICP can hit the studio for a day or two before we head towards Atlanta for Wednesday's show.

Now we are sitting on the bus driving back to Detroit and we picked up a new ninja for the ride. His name is Jim Brooks and so far he is a super cool ninja. Actually I am kidding Jim is an asshole all the way around. He bullies everyone on the bus, and his shit has got to go. I hear he is here to finish the tour, so that means we have to put up with his ass for 2 fucking weeks. I have to say that this is pure bullshit. Jim is a fucking asshole.

He got off to a bad start on the bus in the first 20 minutes and Rude Boy said he was jacking off in his bunk? That is a definite violation of bus rules. That is as bad as shitting on the bus. Hopefully this shit will change cause 2 weeks of this shit is going to be hella rough. With all that said I am out, I am going to hide from Jim before he kicks my ass for no apparent reason. So I will be back, for now I am out like the Hornswagglin Hill Billy's breath.

Whoop Whoop Oolong Johnson :

RenoRyda
November 9, 2017
11:26 pm
Oolong Johnson
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The Masked Ninja Report (St. Petersburg, FL) 6-24-00

 

What is up juggalos? Today is June 24th as you already know, but on this day I am going to let you all in on a super fresh tip about ICP. The super fresh tip has to do with coldness and their tour bus. Now I know you are thinking what the fuck do those two things have to do with one another, but here is the deal. ICP's tour bus is so cold that there is speculation that eskimos have been found in the closets and bathroom. It is so cold that you can see you breath non-stop, and your nipples stay so hard that you can use them to turn the lights off and on and hit all kinds of buttons and shit. The reason that is so cold in the bus is this: The Dark Carnival consumes the bus wherever it goes.

The spirits of The Dark Carnival keep it cold, and their is nothing anyone can do with it except get sick as soon as heat makes it's presence. For example, tonight in St. Petersburg, Violent J was overwhelmed by the heat. He was so over heated that The Dark Carnival worked it's powers and a thunderstorm struck the city of St. Petersburg moments before ICP walked on the stage. The rain cooled things down just a bit, but once ICP hit the stage the juggalos at the Jannis Landing had that place blazin'. It was so fuckin hot in there we could have made French Fries in the Faygo puddles. French Fried Diet Faygo Fries. The show was super fuckin' tight tonight.

Their were juggalos with bleeding faces, and everyone at that place was hyped. At the end of the show I think everyone in attendance made it onto the stage. Their were so many ninjas up on stage that it ran out of room and kids were falling off the back of it. Then the St. Pete's juggalos started chanting Psychopathic, It went from one side of the venue chanting Psycho then the other side return with Pathic. This blew the minds of everyone here because it was the Atom fuckin Bomb. As soon as everyone was off the stage we bounced with a quickness, so I will get into telling you what we did to kill our time before and after the show. When everyone woke up today we did jack shit, and if you want to know why I will tell you. The reason is this, IT WAS TOO FUCKIN' HOT!!!

The fuckin' ocean was 50 feet away from us, but it was too fuckin' hot to walk to it, or drive to it for that matter. It was so fuckin' hot that the sun took a dip in the ocean. Even though the heat was devastating, Shaggy 2 Dope did beat the heat on the beach to catch up with Florida's most notorious beach bad ass, Florida Joe. Shaggy even schooled another fresh stunt, then the entire bus was amazed to find Moon Glorious chillin' in our bus when we came out of the WH. If you don't know by now WH = Waffle House, and you best recognize. So, as I was saying, Moon Glorious was just marinating on the bus when we came out from WH. He was equipped with some weirdo balloon that made him look like a fag but that is my speculation.

Shaggy tried to get the scoop on his sexual tendencies, but Moon was saying nothing besides the fact that he has changed his obsession from Pat Tanaka to Hulk Hogan or Hull Kogan? The way Moon talks sometimes makes it a little hard to tell so no one on the bus know who he was talking about. As Shaggy kept up with the questions Moon grew very uneasy and excited at the same time and as we were all laughing he disappeared. As always this can be seen here on http://www.insaneclownposse.com, if you click on the Shaggy Show. After Moon vanished everyone continued going about their business, and one by one headed to their bunk.

I think that all of Moon's talk of Hulk Hogan or Hull Kogan stuck in all of our minds because we put in a Best of Hulkster video so we could watch it in our bunks as we fall into comas. So ninjas and juggalos until next time always remember I am the Masked Ninja and I will never be found. So with that I am out like Eminem is concealed weapons class. Peace ninjas!

 

The Masked Ninja Report (Pensacola, FL) 6-23-00 Wazzup my fellow ninjas? Tonight we played in Pensacola, as you know if you read the title of this puppy. So as 800+ juggalos got their domes blown clean off by the first ever ICP concert in Pensacola. That's right, I said it was the first time ICP has ever freak the juggalos of Pensacola, and holy shit they freaked the shit out of everyone in attendance.

Today was Friday and Violent J, FxCKFACE, and the Rude Boy all left Detroit on Wednesday. They spent Thursday in Nashville, just kicking it at the mall then they were on their way here to Pensacola, but not before they stopped off to see some titties in Nashville. Now, to my ever present ninja knowledge I have received tips telling me that Moon Glorious was spotted shopping in the same Nashville mall as Violent J and crew. I guess we will have to wait and see if he has any new surprises if and when he appears again? Now, if you have been watching the ever fascinating "Shaggy Show's" on http://www.insaneclownposse.com, you know of Moon Glorious. The guy pops up on the bus without anyone's knowledge.

No one on the bus knows Moon, so they have no idea how he keeps finding them in all of the different cities. The funny thing about Moon is that Shaggy schools him in ever interview, always stunning them with his questions for Moon, and Moon stuns them right back with the fact that he likes the meats. So as I left off, the bus of three left Nashville to drive to Pensacola on Thursday night, and was to meet Tom Dub and Shaggy 2 Dope in the hot state of Florida on Friday morning. To the bus's surprise, Friday morning found no Tom Dub or Shaggy 2 Dope for that matter.

It was soon found that both Tom and Shaggy missed their morning flight and were not going to be in Florida until around 6 in the evening. This was ok, but the rest of the bus was hoping that their flight went as planned so the show wouldn't be delayed or anything like that. As you read in the first paragraph, you know the show went as scheduled, they arrived on time so everyone bounced to the venue. After the show, some of the guys got showers and the bus hit the highway until it found the first Waffle House in its path. As soon as a Waffle House was found everyone got mad happy cause they were all hungry as fuck. The WH treated them all real good and everyone came out super fed. Now they are on their way to St. Petersburg, FL and I am ready to sleep. So until I return I am out like titties in Nashville.

Whoop Whoop Oolong Johnson :

RenoRyda
November 10, 2017
12:23 am
Oolong Johnson
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The Masked Ninja Report (Richmond, VA) 6/28/00

 

Hello juggalos, I am back from a couple days off, to let you in on what is going on with ICP while they are on the road. Last night we left Detroit at like 4 in the fuckin' morning. We were supposed to leave at around 12 and it got bumped back to 2, and then as it turns out we left at 4. As you can see from this, is that ICP have no fuckin' perception or concern of the time. The only thing time that matters is the time they hit the stage, and as you all know when that time comes ICP delivers with greatness. That is what the Richmond Juggalos witnessed this evening at Gilligan's. I think that was the name of the club? It makes sense to me to name it Gilligan's because all it did today was fuckin' rain.

The rain caused many puddles and river and our bus almost strayed off the road several times. Then we would have been cast aways like the Skipper and Gilligan, so that's why I think the club was called Gilligan's. In the time we had before the show, all we did was eat, and this was a lot harder then you may think. We started off at Applebee's, but that was short lived because we were hound dogged the fuck out. When asked Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope signed a few autographs then everyone in the place started hound doggin'. When one of the waitresses started hating, we decided to go somewhere else before someone got hurt. After we jetted out of Applebee's we looked for somewhere else that had fresh food, but after driving for a while we turned around and went to stale ass Shoney's.

Everyone got steak except Shaggy. He ordered some pasta treat that smelled sour and attracted flies really bad. Everyone else scarfed down their fat absorbed steaks and we bounced the fuck out. From there we went to the telly to get ready for the show and that is where you started this story. After the show, everyone except Violent J and Shaggy took showers. If you remember I told you they don't take showers after the shows for some odd reason. It has gotten to the point where their clothes look skin tight because they are stuck to their sticky Faygo tainted skin. Their skin is so sticky that whatever they touch is practically glued to then. Almost as if they were covered in sap. It is getting out of hand I think because the bus is starting to reek of rotten Faygo and sweat.

I think these two scrubby asses need to take a shower after the shows, but what can I do? I am clearly just the Masked Ninja. Maybe one night I will ninja them into the shower without them even knowing it? I have to use my ninja knowledge and think on that one for a while. I will let you know how it goes if I decide to try. Now, after the showers and non showers, Tom Dub went to grab some WH snacks for everyone. The rest of the gang chilled on the bus, but for some reason FxCKFACE was punished to sit in the tiny 3x3 bathroom for a few hours. What I have gathered is that he lost the phone number of a girl that Violent J knew for VA. J got helly pissed that he couldn't get in touch with his freind and sentenced FxCKFACE to do some hard time in the bathroom.

After the snacks returned with Tom Dub everyone ate and then Violent J got jiggy on Rude Boy's House of Style for the Shaggy Show. Violent J came out in 3 new, super fresh hook ups that he bought today at the mall, but for some reason he lacked pants on the third outfit? You will have to see it to believe it Juggalos, and you can only see it here at http://www.insaneclownposse.com. Oh yeah, I said mall. The Shoney's that we ate at was located inside this little, stale as fuck mall. The only thing in there were 2 shoe stores, a bootleg ass hip hop store and a Sam Goody.

The bootleg hip hop store was so whack that the had a Ecko Unltd. perpetration line called Buffalo Untld. That is no fuckin' joke ninjas. You may find it very funny and hard to believe, but I swear on my ninja skills that I 100% for real. So as I write this up, Shaggy and Violent J along with the Rude Boy are steady watching some old wrestling videos in the back of the bus, and Tom Dub seemed to disappear. FxCKFACE is still doing his hard time. So until next time I am out like titties during "Lil' Somethin' Somethin'."

Whoop Whoop Oolong Johnson :

RenoRyda
November 10, 2017
10:05 pm
Oolong Johnson
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The Masked Ninja Report (Boston, MA) 6-30-00

 

I am back ninja's and Juggalos alike. Yesterday we had a day off and we didn't do too much. We went from Richmond, VA and chilled on the beach for a bit. Once we had our share of sand, we went to what people in Virginia call titty bars, but what our eyes seen was nothing more than a bikini bar. It was fuckin wack as hell. Three girls on a runway wearing bikini's was some major BULLSHIT!!! So, once that was done everyone crawled into their bunks and went to bed as the bus drove on towards Boston where our show was tonight. Tonight's show was the fuckin' bomb. Juggalos were as crazy as any I have ever seen. There was even some chick in the front with her face painted like Moon Glorious. It could have been Moon Glorious, because he somehow popped into our bus today.

So that is still unknown to all of us here on the bus, but it is a lil' strange. Another super surprise today was that Florida Joe found us here in Boston. He was super drunk and forced his way into the bus. He is now asleep, or should I passed out because he is a super lush. That ninja is slammin' down bud's quicker than Shaggy smokes a cigarette. If you know how fast that is, which you don't, just let me tell you that it is super fast. After the show all of us except, Violent J and Shaggy all took showers and ordered some pizzas and we are now headed towards Portland, ME. That's right Portland, ME is the last night of the Wicked Clowns from Outer Space Tour. After tomorrow night's show everyone is going the fuck back to Detroit. ICP are going to hit the studio and finish the Bizaar/Bizzar albums.

That is dropping on 10/31/00. Yes, I said it Halloween. Along with Twiztid's "Freak Show," both coming out on Halloween is going to deviate your fuckin minds. On to other things I am sitting here on the bus with Tom Dub and the Rude Boy, and I am going to let them drop a lil knowledge on your ass right now. The Rude Boy has asked me, The Masked Ninja to say thanks to all the Juggalos who came out to the Wicked Clowns from Outer Space and the JCW tour. If you are really down with the Rude Boy and Psychopathic Records then your ass will be at The Gathering of the Juggalos, by any means necessary. If you happen to see the Rude Boy at the Poison concert at Pine Knob in Detroit on Monday, stop him and say "what up ninja, what the fuck are you doing here?"

With that said the Rude Boy bids all the Juggalos peace and he's out. Now we just stopped at a truck stop, and everyone got some snacks. We are now all back on the bus, and wait a fuckin' minute. Moon Glorious has just emerged from his bunk to tell me to tell all the Juggalos to send all your emails to [email protected] and tell ol' Jelly that you all love Moon's faggot ass. He has stated that if doesn't receive 500 request for more of his appearances that he will not ever be back on the Shaggy Show.

I don't know if I really care if he comes back or not, but I hear a lot of Juggalos love his appearances so I guess it'd be cool if he comes back. Look for a couple new episodes of The Shaggy Show in the next day or so. FedEx better hurry the fuck up, for the sake of all you Juggalos I hope they do. Well Juggalos, I think with all this info and some touching comments from your friend the Rude Boy that I am going to say goodnight. I have one more report to do tomorrow night, so until then I am out like bikini's at that whack ass bar I was in last night.

Whoop Whoop Oolong Johnson :

RenoRyda
November 10, 2017
10:09 pm
Oolong Johnson
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The Masked Ninja Report (Portland, ME) 7-1-00

 

Well Juggalos, as you all probably know by now, tonight was the final night of the Wicked Clowns from Outer Space Tour. As usual the show was devastating. The ninjas in Portland were off the fuckin' hook. I know that they have been waiting a long time to see ICP up there and the wait was well worth it. Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope turned that motherfucker upside down and inside out. There were ninjas clinging onto anything stable could find to hold them from being blown back by the force of power that ICP unleashed from the stage. When ICP hit the stage the crowd was ready for a show that will be forever embarked into their brains and they got just that.

Everyone in the State Theater was off the hook except for one ninja who kept standing up flipping us off from the balcony. He quickly set the fuck down when Violent J called him out. J had all the house lights turned on then had everyone look at the kid, then announced that that kids mom sucked his dick backstage before the show! I have no information on whether or not that is speculation, but J don't play when it comes to shit like that so I will have to find out for sure one of these days. All in all tonight's show was the bomb. Everyone had a good time and we are now headed back to the beautiful wastelands of Detroit.

The rest of the day was pretty stale because Portland seemed too much like Duluth, Canada. Every ninja in the town was Scottie 2 Hottie according to Tom Dub. What he meant by that was that everyone in Portland was too cool or too busy to help in any way. When we were trying to find a Kinko's no one cared to give us directions and when we finally found the Kinko's the dick behind the counter was too fuckin' busy to do his damned job. What the fuck is that all about? How in the fuck can you be too busy to fuckin' do what you are being paid to do?

I haven't any clue on what that asshole's problem was and I could give a fuck less, but we didn't get our shit done thanks to that lazy pickle buffer. After that it was off the Applebee's where once again the food fuckin' sucked, and the service was super shitty. We quickly bounced up out of there and went back to the bus. the everyone went to the mall for a while. Shaggy bought a few DVD's so we could watch them tonight on our voyage . He bought Heat and Rush Hour but I already seen that shit so I ain't watching it.

Everyone else is watching movies and I the Masked Ninja take time out of my hectic schedule to fill you all in on a daily basis. As I stated earlier, tonight was the final night of the tour, and that means that this is my final report until we head out on our next voyage. I hope to drop some knowledge to all you lame asses that don't make it to the Gathering of the Juggalos. For all of those who do make it to the Gathering, I will see you there. You however, will not see me because I am the Masked Ninja. So, until the Gathering of the Juggalos, I am out like this tour.

Whoop Whoop Oolong Johnson :

RenoRyda
November 10, 2017
10:10 pm
Oolong Johnson
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That's it. That was the final Ninja report.

I will be posting the Southern Crumpet report soon.

Please leave comments on any of the reports you have read here.

Whoop Whoop Oolong Johnson :

RenoRyda, scruffy, Chuckieboy
November 11, 2017
1:55 am
RenoRyda
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Oolong Johnson said
That's it. That was the final Ninja report.
I will be posting the Southern Crumpet report soon.

Please leave comments on any of the reports you have read here.  

WRONG! You are now the masked ninja keep that shit coming lol. Thanks bro these were fun to read I appreciate you spacing them out to that was fresh. What are the Southern Crumpet reports?

Whoop Whoop RenoRyda :

scruffy, Chuckieboy
November 12, 2017
1:06 am
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Southern Crumpet was a British Psy. employee who did the reports from June-August 2000.

Whoop Whoop Oolong Johnson :

RenoRyda, Chuckieboy
November 14, 2017
3:41 pm
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Thanks again for posting these, it was a trip re-visiting this shit. 

Whoop Whoop Chevy2Dope :

Chuckieboy
November 14, 2017
7:53 pm
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I wonder what Tom Cox looks like, today? has he lost all his hair and that Majik Records logo is showing?

November 14, 2017
9:45 pm
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Dude get off Tom dubbs dick 

November 21, 2017
1:14 am
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BTW, some of these reports have one thing in common: Fruity Pebbles. They love it.

February 2, 2018
8:21 pm
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Frownin1.jpegImage Enlarger

0422171752.jpgImage Enlarger
masked like I am...in 2009-10 is when they sent the new frownin Klown mask

Whoop Whoop Frownin klown :

SPOOKYtheFUNGI
October 9, 2018
4:10 pm
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bump.

January 3, 2021
12:12 am
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Bump.

January 3, 2021
1:10 am
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all I can say about the masked ninja reports is that I used to have to use dial up internet to read them

I remember my mom yelling "get off the fucking internet I need to use the phone" as I read the masked ninja reports

way before facebook and ever myspace

THE ALMIGHTY SMACK

July 5, 2023
1:21 pm
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Anyone still reading the reports and enjoying them?

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