Here was the opening paragraph on the page:

"Hey ninjas. My name is... well... just call me: The Masked Ninja. I am a ninja spy working just for you. Each and every day, log on right here at insaneclownposse.com and I'll tell you Juggalos what goes on, back stage, behind the scenes in the daily routine life of the Insane Clown Posse.

I call myself, "The Masked Ninja" because you really don't need to know who I am. I keep my own true identity hidden because sometimes I'll tell you things that J and Shaggy might not want you to hear!

Besides, I might not even be just one person! I might actually be a whole bunch of different people who secretly get together every night and put all of our information together for this report! Just for you! Or I might be a close personal friend of ICP's... I might be their runner, or one of their girlfriends... I might be their road manager... I might even be J or Shaggy themselves! You'll never really know.

Some of you might have learned of my "true" identity... it was reveiled at the Gathering of the Juggalos. But maybe I am not the same person... Maybe I decided to switch with someone else... Maybe they are writing the ninja report while I relax with a delicious fruit smoothy! You never know... I am sneaky like that. After all, I AM a ninja!

So if you've ever wondered what the daily life on an insane clown is really like, just log on here everyday and I'll do my best to tell you. Sit back, and enjoy the REAL, ACTUAL, AUTHENTIC info that you'll only find right here at insaneclownposse.com. baby!!! whut!?!?! "

here is a sample:

The Masked Ninja's Report #1 - Thursday, Oct. 14th 1999. Boise, Idaho.

Hello Juggalos... Lets see, today I woke up around 11:00 am and right away I had to wake Violent J up. J had told me to wake him up because he had to take this girl that was with him to the airport so she could fly home. Her flight was at 12:50pm. Rude Boy also woke up and he wanted to come along for the ride. J, his girl and Rudy were half asleep all the way to the airport.

When we got there, J walked his girl to her gate, gave her some loot, and said goodbye. It looked like they were both still half asleep (it's very rare ICP or Twiztid to ever take a girl all the way to the airport themselves. Usually they'll just drop the chick in a cab and say peace right there. Who knows, maybe J likes this chick or something). On the way back to the hotel, J and Rude Boy had the driver take us to the mall. It was this really shitty mall that we had went to before the last time we were in Boise. We went into this stale ass mall and we went right to Suncoast Video to look for Columbo videos. ICP loves Columbo. We all do. Columbo's the shit.

The whole crew (except Twiztid for some reason) all agrees that nothing is better after a great show than riding in the bus and watching Columbo as your falling asleep. Whenever we watch Columbo, the crew always discuss all the shit the killer did wrong and why he got caught. We always sit and tell each other what we would have done differently to get away with it. Anyway, there was no young people at the mall so nobody really noticed who J was except for like 2 people. We walked around for a little bit and then J went to a pay phone.

I listened on with an open ear... He called his manager Alex, who is back in Detroit and told him he thinks he needs some medication for his panic attacks again. He told Alex that he's been feeling panicky and he's been having some trouble breathing while sleeping. As I was dipping into his conversation, I also heard him tell Alex that he feels like he did on the House Of Horrors Tour (that's when J last flipped out, canceled the rest of his tour and went to the Mental Ward for 2 days). J then hung up the phone and we continued walking through the mall. I didn't want to ask him about that shit, so I didn't. Rude Boy seemed to already know what the call was about. I just kept my mouth shut. After the mall, we all went back to the hotel, and met up with Shaggy and Twiztid who were just now waking up. It was about 2:00pm. Everybody ate something on the bus, and then Twiztid and Shaggy suggested going to the mall but J and Rudy said "fuck that, we just got back from that hoe-ass mall".

So instead we all had the driver take us to Target. We all walked around Target for a while and followed this one super hot bitch everywhere she went. Her body was bangin' but her face looked like it got thrown through a wood chipper or something. None the less she was fine as fuck. We all kept on following her and she eventually got scared I guess and she told an employee to have us stop following her, but to our surprise, he was a Juggalo. He just laughed about it with us and gave us all a free lemonade Slurpee from the Target cafe. J and Shaggy bought some new CD cases and Monoxide bought some new boxer shorts and some Halloween shit to hang in the bus and we all went back to the telly (hotel). About an hour later, Rude Boy almost choked some bitch ass fans.

These 3 fat hoes told the hotel people they were with us and got our room numbers. Then the 3 hoes showed up at the door and Rude Boy almost slapped them silly. It caused a small scene at the telly, but the hotel people weren't bitchin', after all it was there faults that it happened anyway. Violent J missed the whole thing, he was sleeping in another room. Show time was coming up. It was about 6:00pm. J called his manager again and asked about his medicine and I guess Alex told him that he met with J's doctor and its all good. Alex was sending out some medicine shit over night.

J will get it tomorrow in Missoula. We all watched a little bit of WCW Thunder, and we couldn't believe that Rey Mysterio Jr. beat Perry Saturn! It was fresh. Rey is ICP and Rude Boy's homie and they love that guy. Then we all jumped into the van and headed to the show. Violent J jumped in first with his pants down flashing everybody his naked ass. It was funny and wack at the same time. On the way there we heard ICP's Another Love Song on the radio, but nobody seemed to care. That was the first time I have ever heard ICP on the radio, but nobody seemed too thrilled about it but me. So I just shut up. We got the the show and Rude Boy went right on with his announcements. He came back and said the crowd is hype but the ceiling is mad low. Twiztid went right on.

They had a tight show... They came back hype. Monoxide said his monitors were dead but he gave no fuck. The crowd was the bomb. Then ICP went on. During the show J stopped in the middle of everything and announced it was Shaggy's birthday! Nobody knew! The crowd went crazy! Then he called Twiztid out on stage to hold Shaggy down and Dougie and Patrick (2 crew homies) came out with big ass birthday cakes and threw them both in Shaggy's face! It was the bomb! I had no idea it was his birthday at all. Nobody in ICP's crew really cares about birthdays and shit I guess cause they went all day and said nothing about it. The show was the bomb even though it was at a stale ass skating rink. It was sold the fuck out weeks in advance and everybody had a great time.

Especially Shaggy's birthday bitch-ass! After the show J was sitting down cleaning up and Monoxide walked right in front of him with his naked ass out. It was mad funny. I guess it was revenge from before. That night everybody ate and Monoxide fucked some chick. I thought his freak looked like a turtle... If she's reading this, sorry bitch but you look like a turtle. Then we all got into the bus and we took off. Tomorrow is Missoula, MT. As we all headed down the freeway Twiztid was in the back of the bus smoking buds and bumpin Al Green like they always do, and the rest of us were all up front watchin... Columbo!!!

The Masked Ninja's Report #2 - Friday, Oct. 15th, 1999. Missoula, MO.

Today, we all woke up to some shocking news... The show has been canceled. Even though the gig has been sold out for weeks, ICP's crew had no choice but to cancel the show. When we got to the venue, we found out that the promoter lied to us, the venue's owner lied to us, practically everybody involved with this show had lied to us just to get ICP there. Let me explain... Sometimes, promoters and bookers will tell the band that the stage is bigger than it really is, or that there's more stage lights than there really are, and all that shit. They'll tell the band whatever it takes just to bring them in.

They'll lie all along because when the bands show up, 99% of them will just complain for a while, then end up doing the show anyway. Not ICP's crew. They don't play that shit at all. This club lied about the size of the stage, the floor, the doors, everything. No fuckin' show for them hoes. Even if we wanted to still do the show today, it would have been impossible! The venue doors were too small to fit our shit in! We would have had to do the show with no stage props, no speakers, no lights, nothing. It would have been the worst show ever. In cases like this, promoters always try and flip the whole shit on you. They'll sit there and say something like "Hey man, I'm sorry, but at least do the show for the fans man. What about your fans man?".

But we see it the opposite way. We don't think anybody should have to pay $20 just to see J and Shaggy dance around on a tiny stage with no lights, no sound, no stage props, no monsters, and no FAYGO! That's right. This fuckin lame ass club had carpet in it and they told us that ICP can't throw any Faygo either! Straight up bullshit. I guess Billy Bill (ICP's long time homie and leader of the road crew) almost beat the shit out of the club owner. He made sure that ICP still got paid for showing up, and then we rolled right out of town. All this happened while ICP and Twiztid were still asleep. A few hours we finally stopped in this tiny town called Deer Creek, MO. It was about 3:00 PM. We checked into a hotel and then woke all the rappers up and explained what was going on. ICP's buses rolling into this town was major news around there. Within' seconds every last kid in town flocked to the parking lot. Suddenly there was maybe 200 locals either standing around, riding bikes, sitting in their cars, or whatever, just waiting to catch a glimpse of the clowns.

ICP and Twiztid were trapped up in their hotel room's because the hotel was mobbed. The cops finally came but instead of kicking everybody off the hotel grounds, they just waited around for autographs too! It was fuckin' unbelievable. There was truck drivers, old ladies, children, cops, firemen, parents and hotel employees all waiting for J and Shaggy to come out of their room. It was fuckin' hound dog city. We had to wake up our bus driver again, (who had only been asleep for 15 minutes), and have him take us the fuck out of that shitty little town of hound dogs. When the bus was ready to go, ICP and Twiztid finally came out and signed only about 5 people's shit and everybody else got dissed. ICP and Twiztid only hooked them 5 ninjas up because really only those 5 kids had ICP's CD's or ICP t-shirts on. Everyone else was just there to hound dog somebody famous.

When ICP rudely pushed their way through the rest of the crown and to their bus. Ignoring non-Juggalos, a few local hound dogs got pissed and started talking shit. One kid got bitch slapped right in his pick up truck. He was yelling disses at ICP from the front seat of his pick up, and didn't notice ICP's homie Dougie Doug standing about 10 feet from him. He got bitch slapped in his mouth right in the middle of his shit talking. He was shook and he quickly shut his mouth up. It was funny as hell. We stopped again in a few hours down the road in a city called Butte. It was about 5:00pm. To our surprise it was almost the same thing in this city again. Hound Dogs were everywhere. This time we didn't give a fuck. We went into a restaurant and they gave us special seating away from the rest of the people. People were staring anyway they could. Windows, peek holes, whatever. Every time the waitress came through the door, you'd see 5 old people or local red necks staring behind them.

It was so lame that it was funny. We spent most of this off day playing Sega in the hotel. Monoxide and Dougie Doug found some bitches in the parking lot and they were smoking it up with them up in Twiztid's room. J, Shaggy, Rudy, Inferno, and myself all walked across the street to the movies. We saw that movie Fight Club. Everybody agreed that it was all right. It sucked up until the ending... well, actually it all pretty much sucked. After the movie it was about 11:30 PM and some more crazy shit happened. We were all walking back to the bus. There was about 50 ninjas hanging out waiting as usual. Some drunk kid ran right up on us and asked Shaggy for an autograph.

Shaggy said... "I'll sign it if you can tell me what my name is... what's my name?" The ninja said "Fuck that dude, I don't really know who the fuck you are, just sign my shit". Shaggy said, "Why the fuck would you want an autograph from me if you don't even know who I am?". The punk ass, drunk kid said, "Hey, I don't listen to your shit man, I just want an autograph, don't be a dick man, sign this shit!" Right then the kid got mobbed on. J, Twiztid, and the rest of us started pushing this kid and yelling "get the fuck outta here". The kid wouldn't leave! He started talking mad shit! It was crazy! All of his boys already took off running but this kid was nuts. Suddenly, Shaggy checked the fuck out of his chin. The kid got knocked the fuck out on his back. He's lucky they didn't all stomp the shit out of this kid. J and them just kicked him a few times and walked away. After that, everybody got in the bus and we took off back down the road. Hopefully tomorrow's show will rock because today kind of sucked. We didn't get to play the show and instead we spent the day getting hound dogged in two different shitty towns. Well, at least J got his panic attack medicine sent to him so he's happy. When the day ended, we all slowly fell asleep watching... what? Colombo baby, act like you know!

For those who have read the reports and dont know who The Pimps are, here is their hit song Sumpin:

The Masked Ninja’s Report #4 - 7,  Oct. 17th - 20th, 1999. 2 days in Philly for WCW, Chico - California, & Reno Nevada!

Sunday, Oct 17th: Damn, Sunday sucked. We woke up in Salt Lake City again. We had to come back here to fly out to Philly for wrestling. Pocatello, (were we played Saturday night) doesn’t have an airport, so we had to swing back through Salt Lake Shitty again in order to catch our flight. Our flight was at 2:00 p.m. We basically slept until then. Twiztid and Inferno stayed on the bus and headed to Chico. Just ICP, Rude Boy and me, The Masked Ninja, went on the WCW trip. At the airport we ended up waiting for 2 extra hours because our plane was delayed. At the airport, J started going crazy. He was dancing around like Michael Jackson and he kept grabbing Rudy and body slamming him everywhere.

The Rude Boy will sit there and act like he’s completely normal but once somebody starts acting a fool, there’s the Rude Boy right there with him acting a fool too. J and Rude Boy were fake wrestling all over the terminal. Shaggy was sleeping in his chair with his bitchy-ass slippers on. (If you ever see Shaggy in public, remember to look at his feet. He always wears little bitchy slippers for some lame reason). A security guard finally came over to J and Rudy and told them to stop and J playfully game him a light throat chop Ric Flair style and went "WHOOOO!". The guard knew J was just trying to be funny, but the guy didn’t think it was funny. After that, everybody stopped. Finally we were on the plane.

The stale flight was 5 hours long. Shaggy’s a dick because he always sleeps on the plane. He never hangs with the rest of us. Maybe his cozy ass bitchy slippers make him sleepy or something. J seen this bitch he liked sitting 3 rows ahead of him, so he wrote her a long ass note and he had the Rude Boy hand her the note. She read it, and looked back stunned. Then she and her boyfriend who none of us had noticed before, got up and moved to the front of the plane. I don’t know what the note said but I’ll bet it was something stupid. When we finally landed in Philly, it was about midnight Philly time. We went into the hotel and we seen wrestlers everywhere. Disco Inferno, La Parka, Buff Bagwell, and many more. Right away everybody started tripping that ICP was there.

Everybody had heard something different. Some thought ICP went to the WWF, others thought the ECW, others though they retired. All the wrestlers were asking J and Shaggy if they were back in the WCW and they had to explain to everybody that they never really left. The reason J and Shaggy had taken some time out of WCW is because Vampiro got suspended for saying "Mother Fucker" on WCW Nitro 3 times. So without Vamp, ICP wasn’t needed. So they took a month off. Now they are back and all is well. That night at the hotel, J, Shaggy, and Vampiro all sat up in J’s room eating Denny’s and taking sleeping pills. Hundreds of sleeping pills. I thought they were all going to die. But they were all fine. I swear to you… ICP and Vampiro are straight up, over the counter pill poppers. Rude Boy is slowly but surely becoming one too. They all passed out for the night right there in J’s room, sleeping on each other’s laps and smiling. Somehow, Vampiro ended up with Shaggy’s bitchy slippers on too. Go figure!

Monday, October 18th: We woke up in the motel, showered, and all jumped in the limo (at WCW’s expense of course). We headed straight to the Spectrum Arena for WCW Monday Nitro. It was about 1:00PM. It wasn’t far away at all. We walked into the arena and right away J started looking for the Nitro Girl with the short hair.

Her Nitro name is Spice. She was nowhere to be found. We basically hung out at the arena, talking to wrestlers until about 3:00 PM. Then we jumped back in the limo and headed out to this mail that’s supposed to have a "Pro-Wrestling Store" in it according to the Rude Boy. ICP wanted to get some fresh wrestling videos for the bus. Once at the mall, we were swarmed by Juggalos and Hound Dogs, but J and Shaggy didn’t care. They were on a mission for those wrestling videos. We finally found the place. It was one of them cheap little booths that sit in the middle of the mall. Amidst all the bull shit T-shirts and wrestling dolls, they had hundreds of great videos! ICP bought about 20 different videos.

Old NWA videos, Stampede Wrestling Videos from Canada, a Brian Pillman tribute video, Old Roddy Piper videos, Wrestle Mania 2 & 3, Abdullah’s Greatest Matches, and more. We grabbed all that shit and headed right back to the arena. We got mobbed on by a lot of lame ass, fake Juggahos at the mall, who had no idea who or what ICP is really about, but it was worth it. These videos are the shit. Back at the arena, all the wrestlers and bookers were finally there. J and Shaggy were looking at the board of matches to see what they’re doing that night on the show. ICP was not on the board but Vampiro was. J and Shaggy were both asking everybody what the fuck was going on. Nobody knew if ICP was even on the show. ICP was pissed. Turns out that WCW has hired 2 new bookers that make the matches: Vince Russo and Ed Farahra. For some stupid ass reason, these two guys didn’t want ICP to be paired up with Vampiro any more. Vamp was pissed and so were the clowns.

We were all fuckin’ pissed. ICP ended up filming this stupid vignette where Goldberg comes walking down the hall all pissed off and asking where Sid Vicious is at. He sees ICP and asks them where Sid is. ICP tells them that Sid left the building and Goldberg gets pissed and beats J and Shaggy down in 4 seconds flat. That was it. That’s what J and Shaggy flew 6 hours for. Then on top of that, they had Vampiro lose to Disco Inferno in just 30 seconds like a bitch ass jobber. Obviously, the 2 new booker guys are not very fond of ICP and Vampiro. Right before we left the arena that night, Violent J went up to Vince Russo and told him that if the whole ICP and Vampiro thing is over, then he and Shaggy are quitting WCW. Vince Russo said that he hasn’t decided if it’s over yet or not, but J was insistent… If it is over, ICP is out. We’ll have to just wait and see what happens with that shit I guess. That night back at the hotel, J and Shaggy were with some rats in their individual rooms (a "Rat" is the term for a wrestling groupie. In music female fans willing to fuck are called "Groupies," but in wrestling they’re called "Rats"). J and Shaggy were pissed all night about that WCW bullshit. There was little to no hangin’ out, ninjas was too pissed. Vampiro also told WCW that tonight was his last night with the company.

Vamp made it very clear that he was not going to be any fuckin’ jobber. They didn’t even want Vamp to wear any ICP swag out to the ring, but at the last second, Vampiro grabbed his ICP jacket and headed to the ring with it on anyway. The cameras did their best to hide the coat, but Vampiro was just too fresh with it. He was representing ICP, whether or not WCW was down with it. The day basically ended with everybody unaware of ICP and Vampiro’s future with WCW. Big deal, wrestling is wrestling. ICP don’t even own any tight wrestling panties anyway. Fuck wrestling. That’s how I feel. By the way, the Nitro Girl with the short hair never even showed up that day. That sucked. J was pissed about that. Shaggy was too busy bumming various pain pills from wrestlers all day to notice anything going on. We finally went to bed at the motel in our individual rooms pissed off and that was it.

Tuesday, October 19th: First thing in the morning at 7:30 am, it was back to the fuckin’ airport to fly out of Philly and head back to the West Coast. Tonight’s show is in Chico, California. ICP had a sold out concert to attend to. The Juggalos were waiting. It’s funny, the second we leave wrestling, everybody’s happy again. Because ICP is in control of everything when it comes to ICP shows. At wrestling, you always got some fucker telling you how everything’s going down whether or not you like it. Fuck wrestling, it back to the Wicked Clowns from Outer Space tour baby. We all slept the whole time on the plane. Except Rude Boy. He was wide-awake the whole time, terrified the plane was going to slam into a mountain or something. The plane ride was over 7 hours long this time because the plane had to wait extra long for an open runway to land on.

The San Francisco Airport was over jammed because of all the California fires. It was too smoky everywhere and the airport had closed all the runways but one. So we waited our turn circling around in the sky until it was finally our turn to land. It was foggy and smoky everywhere. The extra 2 hours it took to land meant that we missed our connection flight to Chico. So I called out travel agent and she booked us a limo to drive to Chico. It was a 3-hour drive. This day had sucked so far, 9 hours of traveling. We stopped at a record store for some CD’s to play on this 3-hour drive. J got Westside Connection, Shaggy got Snoop Dogg, and Rude Boy got some fuckin’ Prince, of course. At times, it seemed like we were riding through a smoky war zone because of all the fires everywhere. At least out limo driver was the shit. He told us that he’s a 2-time felon in California, which means if he gets one more felony, he’s out for 25 years.

The 3-strike law is some scary shit for Californians. We finally got to the telly and met up with Twiztid again for the first time in a few days. Twiztid hates wrestling so they never like to go there with us. We were basically filling each other with our stories from the last 3 days. Twiztid told us about how they were all on their way to Chico and they met Red Man and Method Man at a truck stop. Red Man and Meth were out on the Family Values Tour. Twiztid and them hung out there for about a half an hour and smoked out with them. Red Man told Twiztid he wants to get on a track for the upcoming Dark Lotus album. He also told Twiztid that everybody on the Family Values Tour felt that it sucked ICP was kicked off before it even started. What can you do though?

Politics are politics and when you have a bunch of business suits running your tour like Family Values does… shit like that happens. Anyway, after ICP and Twiztid finished telling their stories to each other, it was almost show time. They all got ready and we headed to the show. The crack head, 2 strikes limo driver had no fuckin’ idea where he was going in Chico. It took us almost an hour to find the venue. Everybody was tripping out hard in the limo though, so it was fun. I don’t know why, but everybody was acting wild for some reason. At one point Monoxide jumped out of the car and ran away. We had to find his ass. We finally found him 15 minutes later in somebody’s back yard. J and Shaggy game him that old Demolition move where J lays Monoxide over his knee, and Shaggy jumps of a tree stump and chops Monoxide in half.

It was the bomb, but we were wasting too much fuckin’ time. When we finally found the club it was on. They put so many ninjas in this tiny ass club that all you could do was laugh about it. People were passing out left and right. Broken bones, concussions, and heat exhaustion and the show ain’t even really got started yet. The Pimps had already went on before we got there and the crowd was ready for Twiztid. As soon as we got there, Twiztid ran out of the car and on to the stage. They rocked those packed in like sardines Juggalos. The crowd was so packed you could have walked right over their heads, went to the back and bought a T-shirt, and walked back up to the stage like nothing.

When ICP went on, it was un-fuckin-believable. This club only held about 800, but I swear to you there had to be at least 1200 in that bitch. Ninjas were hanging off the roof. Ninjas were falling off the tiny balconies. It was fuckin’ live. J and Shaggy only had about 10 feet of stage and they could hardly move up there. They kept laughing because it was so insane in there. At the end of the show, the whole crowd rushed the stage. Violent J was trapped under hundreds of Juggalos. Shaggy was trapped under J and Rude Boy was somehow stuck under Shaggy. We thought for sure that death was inevitable. Broken arms and legs everywhere. Wow, I haven’t seen nothing like that in years. After all the ninjas and ambulances finally left the venue, there was still a few loonies running around. Some kid stuck a sticker of some other band’s name on the front of ICP’s bus.

Unfortunately for him, Billy Bill caught him in the act. Billy punched his face a few times, and then made him get on his knees and scrape the sticker off. Juggalos were all around the kid fuckin’ with him while he was scrapping the sticker off. We were just about to leave and Dougie Doug brought this super freak into the bus. You wouldn’t believe this shit. She fucked the entire crew… Twice. This bitch loved sex, straight up. That’s all she wanted to do was fuck ninjas. She was the shit. We took her with us to Reno… She fucked everybody at least twice. Shaggy, J, Monoxide, Madrox, Inferno, Dougie Doug, Rude Boy, and Bart. Who’s Bart? Bart is the fuckin’ bus driver. Even he fucked her. She didn’t want to stop fuckin ninjas. I swear to you. All she wanted to do was fuck people.

We have never met any bitch anywhere that wanted it that fuckin’ bad and that much. Wow. We watched Columbo as we headed for Reno, but nobody really caught the whole thing cause everybody kept creeping to the back of the bus to fuck that girl some more. Everybody finally passed out at about 5:00 am. So did the girl. But that’s when I’m told the bus pulled over for about 20 minutes. I guess Bart wanted to fuck her one more time.

Wednesday, Oct. 20th: We all woke up around 3:00 PM because Alex Abbiss had called and had to talk to everybody right away. He told J that ICP might be out of the WCW and starting back with the WWF again on Monday, but nothing is confirmed yet. He also told everybody that ICP’s about to shoot a video for "Play With Me" some time in the next couple weeks. The "Play With Me" video was originally going to be all shot with Claymation special effects with no real footage of the rappers at all, but now that idea has been scratched I guess Island Records was too cheap with it. Now it’s going to be a regular video.  After the short telephone conference meeting, we discovered that the sex chick was still in the back of the bus, sleeping naked. We woke her up and sent her over to the other bus. Maybe Billy Bill, Rob Tre, Nathan, Squeaky, and the rest can have some fun with the little nympho… I know that sounds nasty, but you have to understand… THIS FREAK LOVES IT!! SHE’S A REAL LIFE NYMPHO!!!

At about 5:00 PM, the show wasn’t yet sold out. The club only holds 1000 and only 800 tickets have been sold. ICP and Twiztid have never played Reno before. Everybody decided to skip the hotel and just head straight to the venue to hang out. We got there and pretty much just hung out in the dressing room and played CD’s all day. The show finally did sell out. The crowd seemed dead during The Pimps set. On a side note, ICP and Twiztid are really starting to dig The Pimps. They are cool guys. The crowd finally really got hyped up when Twiztid took the stage. They rocked it as usual. During their set, Monoxide jumped into the crowd and was missing for two songs. We could still hear him rapping so we know that he had his mic with him where ever he was. It’s just that the crowd didn’t want to give him back I guess. Finally a battered and tore up Monoxide was tossed back on stage by the crazy Reno Juggalos.

It was the bomb. Then ICP took the stage and it was just as crazy. J did another moonsault flip from the speaker stack into the crowd. He did it while strobe lights were going off and it looked mad scary. Who could forget when he did that same move in Toledo in 1996 and the crowd didn’t catch him? He was knocked unconscious and left in an ambulance with a broken collarbone and a concussion. Obviously J hasn’t learned a thing from that terrible Toledo incident I guess. During "Lil’ Somethin’ Somethin’", ICP called all the bitches up on stage and Shaggy claims that a bitch pulled his dick out of his pants and put it in her mouth right on stage. That sounds nutty as hell, but it’s actually happened before. That’s probably the 5th or 6th time it happened to Shaggy.

It even happened at Woodstock! Funny though, it’s never happened to J once. I wonder why… maybe its because he’s a gump! After the show, they showered up at the telly and headed to a casino in Reno. Everybody lost money. Too much to mention. One thing happened that was crazy as hell. Some drunk ass, fresh Juggalos handed Inferno and Dougie Doug a big ass cup full of dollar coins for the slots and said "clown love homies" and then walked away. Dougie Doug and Inferno were geeked as hell at first, but everybody else dug their hands in the cup so fast that Dougie and Inferno hardly got shit. Maybe 2 coins each tops. J say at the bar and tried to pick up this bitch for something like 2 hours and then found out she was a hooker. He was flat broke or he probably would have bought her sex and just pretended that she really wanted to fuck him.

J’s not too much on trying to pick chicks up from anywhere, only this chick looked a little bit like the Nitro Girl with the short hair. Maybe that had something to do with it. Shaggy and Rude Boy got so drunk that they got kicked out of the Casino by the same guy who asked them for an autograph two hours earlier. It was a wild night. Twiztid stayed in the bus and smoked weed like it was the last day on earth. Twiztid loves to stay in the bus and smoke weed. Ever though they have a probation piss test in a few weeks, they still enjoy all the weed they want. Smart fellas, I guess. Everybody finally ended up back at the bus around 6 in the morning. Our driver Bart was pissed because it’s an 8-hour drive to Vegas, and he wanted to get an earlier start. Nobody watched Columbo but Inferno that night. He stayed up and watched it while everyone else was asleep like little baby bitches. Tomorrow, it's Vegas baby! What!?

The Masked Ninja's Report 8 & 9 - Thursday & Friday October 21st & 22nd, 1999. Las Vegas, Nevada.

Thursday, October 21st Today was the fuckin' whip. Everybody had a blast. I woke up at about 1:00 PM. I had to stock the buses with soda and food. When I got back from the store about an hour later, everybody was awake. Las Vegas ain't some shit you'd want to sleep through though, this place is the shit. Right when I walked into the bus, ICP's manager Alex called my cell and asked to speak with Shaggy right away. Alex informed Shaggy that ICP is no longer in WCW (World Championship Wrestling) in any way, shape, or form. Their new bookers (Vince Russo and Ed Fararah) don't want anything to do with ICP, I guess. Whatever. Who gives a flying fuck. Everybody sat around for about a half-hour just waking up and discussing how much they're happy to finally be done with that wrestling shit.

All I can say about it is that it's way more fun to be a fan watching it on TV than it is to be involved with the business. Thank God that bullshit is finally over. Knowing J and Shaggy though, they'll probably end up back in the squared circle sooner or later once again. They always fuckin' do. We chilled at the hotel for a few hours while J designed a new full page add that Psychopathic Records are going to run in Rolling Stone and about 5 other big magazines. It's going to cost about $100,000 to run this big ass ad in all those mags, but it's worth it. The ad says a bunch of shit like "Radio fears ICP... MTV fears ICP... Family Values fears ICP..." and on and on with a bunch of shit that fears ICP. At the bottom of the ad, it says in big bold print "The World's Most Hated Band - Insane Clown Posse - The Wicked Shit Will Never Die."

It's dope as hell. It's really just an ad to basically say, "Hey, we're ICP and you hate us, but we still up in this bitch!" Right when J finished creating the new ad, the van pulled up to take us to a radio interview. It was for a station called X-tream Radio 107.5. ICP and Twiztid always hate doing radio interviews, but this station is one of the few stations in the US that actually shows ICP & Twiztid any love. Anyhow, we did the on-air interview and it was great. All J and Shaggy really did was diss radio stations and bands that need radio play. Think about that; dissing radio while on the radio! It was a crazy interview. After that, we went straight to the venue. It was a place called The Huntridge Theater. ICP always plays this place when they come to Vegas because it's the only place that will let ICP play there. All the other venues in Vegas are all too nice and fancy for ICP shows. The Huntridge is ghetto as hell and perfect for a Juggalo party. Fuck them other clubs. At the venue, ICP sat around talking to the Pimps. Turns out that those guys aren't from LA like we had all thought.

They're from Illinois. They gave us each a copy of their latest CD to check out. Nobody has really checked it all out yet, but if it sounds like they do on stage, then it should be dope. Later on while chilling at the venue, we got a phone call from GodSmack's people. We've been tracking them down for a while because ICP wanted to see if they could get them on a cut for Dark Lotus. Their people told us that God Smack is definitely down with doing a track and they'll be at ICP's Cincinnati show to talk about it with them in person. Another cool thing is that on October 29th, ICP and GodSmack play Detroit on he same day. So they'll all be doing some hangin' out together in the near future. Next thing we knew, show time had crept up on us. Before we knew it, The Pimps were already on stage. Everybody was in the dressing room getting ready and all the sudden this bitch walks into to room. She tells us that the promoter had hired her to show us all a good time. We started trippin' out.

This bitch was a hooker and she was ready to do the whole crew just like that other bitch from Chico. At first nobody really wanted to fuck her cause she was a nasty-ass hooker, I mean she looked all right but her shit was probably blew the fuck out. J kept telling Shaggy to fuck her and Shaggy kept telling J to hit it. She was just standing there waiting to fuck somebody or at least suck a pair of nuts. Next thing you know, Rude Boy walked into the room. At the same time, everybody told Rude Boy to take her in the bus and fuck her. Rude Boy was totally unaware that this bitch was a hooker. He just figured she was another crazy freak. So he took her in the bus to fuck her like a wild ninja with the quickness. Rude Boy is like that. He gives no fuck. A half-hour later, he came back in the dressing room looking like Goldberg had just Speared and Jack-Hammered his ass.

Then the chick walked in right behind him like... "Who's next". That shit was funny as hell. J finally told the bitch that ICP don't pay for sex, and then told her to beat it. Even though in reality, ICP does pay for sex, all the time. Much more than your average weirdo. In fact, I can think of about 900 times of when ICP did pay for sex. In Detroit, LA, New York, Europe, and all that shit. ICP has hit up all of the oriental health spas. I don't know who the fuck J thought he was foolin' by telling that bitch that ICP don't pay for sex. SHIIIIT... next thing you know, Twiztid hit the stage and the house erupted. The Pimps had already tore the crowd a new ass, but Twiztid ripped it in half. Twiztid rocked the fuck out of the crazy ass Vegas crowd. They had mad energy on stage, even thought they both smoke like a car muffler.

Then, ICP went on and completely slayed that crowd. J sported his fresh green hair and Shaggy had what we call his fresh ass "Crunch Berry Pink and Blue Hair" on stage. At one point, some crazy kid jumped on the stage from the speaker stacks. He tried to swing on Shaggy for some crazy reason. That kid got pummeled by like 7 ninjas. Even Squeaky decked his ass. Then his bitch some how got on stage and she got that ass beat too. It was a classic ICP show. Twiztid and ICP's booking agent Mike Wood was in the house too and he's a crazy-ass bastard. Billy Bill pulled some super hottie from the crowd and banged her in the bus. She looked just like Brittany Spears only better. Better? How you ask? Better because she was a Juggalette. Nobody could believe how good this bitch looked. Even J and Shaggy were checking her out from the stage; She looked like a goddess.

I'm glad Billy fucked her. He deserved that shit. He's usually too busy beating people's asses and organizing shit to ever find any skins. ICP and Twiztid all had some hoes waiting for them from the last time they were in Vegas. J's freak was stacked like a super model. You could of set a pizza and a 40 bottle on her ass. Monoxide's freak looked like a Playboy Bunny. It was the shit to see them with some fine hoes for once. Even I had a chick tonight, but she was a little loopy (fat). BIG SIDE NOTE: Look, let me be completely honest with you about J, Shaggy, Monoxide, and Madrox. ICP and Twiztid never have hot chicks with them. NEVER. If they do, it's usually hookers or crazy ass groupies, but they can almost never pull a chick on their own. I'm not dissing them, I'm just being honest with you. Most bands have no problem getting hoes, but ICP and Twiztid have major problems.

They don't know how to act around chicks at all. They are way too weird for most hoes. They say and do things that always scare the girls away. These guys are fuckin' crazy. This ain't no gimmick lie either. Just ask anybody who's actually hung out with them. Sure, you might have met them at an instore or in a hotel lobby somewhere, but that ain't shit. If you REALLY know them, than you already know, their social skills are fucked up because they are fucked up in the head! I'll try to explain... For one thing, they never stop yelling, and screaming all day. Every time they talk, it's like they gotta yell and scream. Chicks hate that shit. Plus, they always wrestle each other around and act like fuckin' kids no matter where they are. Then you got the really weird shit. The Dark Carnival shit. They sit around in the bus acting like they are talking to spirits and all that. Chicks don't really dig that too much either. Here's the worst when it comes to the weird shit. They'll start bitching and going crazy when you bring certain foods or drinks into their bus. They get really pissed about shit with garlic on it.

I'm talking really, really pissed. Fighting pissed! They'll fuck you up and you won't even know what you did wrong! Once most people have REALLY met ICP and Twiztid, they get freaked out by them, especially chicks. Unless you've known them your whole lives like most of us at Psychopathic Records have, chances are you won't like being around them. You never know what will set them off. Plus, you never know when they'll just start acting a fool in public. They'll freak you out. That's why we always get arrested, or kicked out of places. Sometimes we have to hide the tour buses from certain Hotels because they've been banned from them. ICP runs a very tight ship. Look at their road crew: Its completely made up of long time homies from back in the day.

You'll never see new faces working for ICP. Every time somebody new comes around, they don't last long at all. If they do stick around, it takes them years and years to truly fit in and be trusted. Everybody from their road manager, roadies, stage manager, lighting guy, sound guy, and so on has all know J and Shaggy since childhood. They all understand ICP's crazy carnival ways because most of them are the same way! That's no fuckin' lie. If your somebody out there that thinks you really know these guys and what they are really like, then why aren't you out here on this tour? Cause you don't know nobody, bitch. All right, back to what I was saying before. ICP had these chicks from their last Vegas trip. After the show, we all headed back to the telly, but that didn't last long. As soon as the sex was had, ninjas was out. After all, this is Vegas baby! The triple threat (Shaggy and his 2 drinking buddies Billy Bill and Tom Dub) headed to their favorite gathering place... the titty bar.

Violent J, Mike Wood, Inferno, Rude Boy, Twiztid, myself, and one of them chicks went to this fresh ass, 24-hour record store. We all bought mad CD's. This place had everything you could want. Local shit, imports, rare shit, everything. We got live as hell in that place. Then we went to the Hard Rock Casino. That's when we lost the chick. She was only 20 and you have to be 21 to get in the casino. She went home and we went inside. Right off the bat we started getting hounded. People were following us around. We met a couple of cool ass Juggalos and ended up hanging out with them all night. We were eating at this little restaurant inside the casino, and Mike Wood noticed the dude from The Black Crows. We all walked over and said hello to his skinny, crack head, pale looking ass. Just meeting the guy, I though he was going to die from my handshake. He looked so weak and feeble. Too much heroine I guess.

After we ate, everybody sort of split up and went their own ways to gamble. I came out on top $300 bucks and that's all I know. I didn't really see anybody else for the rest of the night. They must have all went to other casinos or something. I did however come across the Rude Boy a few times. He was drink and acting a fool at the BlackJack Table. It seemed like he was on his way of getting booted out because he was being loud and crazy. It seemed like a few big guys with gray suits and earplugs were slowly moving in on him. I also met up with Rob Tre at one point and Mike Wood at another. Both told me that they were steady losing their ass. I never found Twiztid, J or the rest of us. When I was finally done getting my gamble on it was about 7 in the morning. I got back and checked the bunks and everybody was passed out in them. Shaggy even had his bitchy slippers on. No Colombo tonight man, fuck that. I'm way too fuckin' tired, plus I don't feel like watching it alone.

Tomorrow we do Vegas again. ICP is playing 2 nights here because the club only holds 1000 people and ICP is mad large here. Both nights have been sold out for weeks. One show down and one to go here in Sin City. Oh....I guess everybody wasn't here, because Inferno just strolled his drunk ass into the bus. He walked right by me and headed for his bunk. Now I am headed for mine.... peace.

Friday, October 22nd: Man, what the fuck happened? We didn't wake up today until something like 6:00 PM. When we finally did wake up, right away everybody started telling each other what happened last night. Here's what I could gather from everybody. Shaggy and the triple threat all ditched their hoes and met some other hoes at the titty bar. They all left the place and went to the Circus Circus Casino. They all ended up getting into a fight there with some drunk jock kid and they all got tossed out by security. After that, they split up and went home with the bitches they met.

Everybody but Tom Dub claims they got some skins. Shaggy, told us about how there was this little dog at his bitches house and it bit the fuck out of his hand. He also told us he was scared to fuck his chick because he was afraid that dog would jump up and bite his nuts. Tom dub says his bitch was just stale and Billy Bill was too grouchy to tell us what happened with him and his titty bar bitch. Patrick, Steve, Twiztid, and some more homies all winded up at a different titty bar after losing all their money at the Hard Rock Casino. Violent J and them 2 Juggalos we met all lost money last night. In fact, J lost $800 dollars on the same slot machine that he won $3000 from the last time we played Vegas. Oh yeah, and Rude Boy did eventually get kicked out of the casino for basically being drunk and acting like a drunken fuckin' fool. Then he went to a tittie bar with Dougie Doug and I'm told that he was telling everybody that he was Violent J and signing autographs all night.

Then they got kicked out of there too. Whatever. Back to today's info. Today's show set up was hella easy because all the shit was already set up from the day before. Mostly everybody was just standing around bull shitting all day. Showtime came with a quickness because everybody slept in all day. The Pimps hit the stage. They got hype as hell. They did their thing as usual and gained a 1000 new fans. Then Twiztid hopped up and dropped nuclear bombs of flavor all over that crowd. The show was just as hype as yesterdays. Right up till the ending, Juggalos were surfing, diving, moshing, and punching each other's face with great enjoyment. ICP's chicks came back again today and this time they brought a bunch of pain pills for everybody. $400 dollars worth. Everybody scraped up all their money and made the purchase. Vikadens, Perkasets, Somas, and all that crazy pain pill shit.

ICP and Twiztid aren't big into drugs at all. In fact they never touch anything like Ecstasy, Cocaine, Crank, Crack, Heroine, or shit like that. But man, do they love NyQuil, Tylenol PM's, and basically all over the counter cold and cough medicines. They're just now starting to like pain pills, and other sleepy medicines. Twiztid on the other hand love on thing and only one thing... Weed. Grass in all shapes and sizes. They love pot in all colors and variations. They smoke some much weed they make Cheech and Chong look like Nikolai Volcoff and The Iron Sheik... I don't know if that makes any sense at all, but it sounds good at least. Anyway, we didn't have much time to do anything tonight after the show, because it's a 10-hour drive to tomorrow's show in Fort Junction Colorado. So right after the show, we bolted to the hotel and showered up quick. Then everybody all headed back out to The Hard Rock Casino across the street and try to win some money back. After about an hour the tolls were in.

Nobody won any of their money back except Dougie Doug and Rude Boy. Rude won a clean $500 duckets and Dougie won $400 bucks after losing about $200. Everybody else lost all their loot. J lost another $300 bucks on that same stupid slot machine for a 2 day total of $1100 down the drain. Shaggy lost a grand total of $1400 over the two days. Inferno lost his entire ass, and Twiztid and Bart (or driver) both lost their asses too. I lost $50 bucks, but I won $300 yesterday, so I'm still good. Amidst everybody losing their asses in suck a short time at the casino tonight, it was still fun. The Casino was packed full with stars. Everybody was in town for the big Tyson fight that's going on tomorrow night. We briefly met Juvenile, LL Cool J, The Hot Boys, Jay Z, The Black Crows again, and some bitch host from MTV. It was mad funny when we met her. I though we were going to cause a fight because of what J said to her. J and Dougie Doug walked right up to her and J politely said, "Could you tell everybody at MTV that the Insane Clown Posse says 'suck my fuckin' dick' for us? Thank you!" Then he walked away.

The lady was just standing there with a stupid ass look on her ugly ass face, but I guess she was too shook to say anything back. It was the bomb. We could only spend about an hour and a half in the casino tonight because we really had to hit the road for Colorado. The other bus was already long gone on its way. So before long, we gathered everybody up and headed out. No bitches, no big evens, and no big news really came out of today other than the fact that ICP and Twiztid rocked the fuck out of them Las Vegas Juggalos again. Oh, and meeting all them starts was cool too I guess. But like Ice Cube said: It's cool to walk up and say hi... But you know, stars are up in the sky... For anything they do, fuck them, and their crew... Unless you are getting paid too! Them are some real ass words right here. Now, here we are riding in the bus headed for Colorado. Jamie Madrox and Violent Js voices are both shot from doing 4 shows in a row, but they'll both still pull it off tomorrow.

They always do somehow. Right now as I look round the bus, this is exactly what I see... I'm alone typing this on my laptop, in the front area of the bus. Prince's "Sign of the Times" album is in the CD player... ICP and Twiztid are having some kind of crazy meeting with spirits of the Dark Carnival I guess, in the back of the bus. They always do that weird shit on long drives like this one... Who knows what kind of demonic rituals go on in the back of this giant retard bus... Inferno is in his bunk right now sleeping off the 8 or 9 pain pills that he took tonight... Dougie Doug is sitting up in the very front talking with our bus driver Bart. I have no idea what they could possibly be talking about, but they're laughing a lot up there... Rude Boy is lying in his bunk watching one of Jamie Madrox's stupid horror movies.

This one is called Hold on, let me check the box... it's called "Buried Alive" staring Tim Matheson and Jennifer Jason Leigh. Jamie Madrox always buys them fuckin' 3 for $10 movies at truck stops. There are hundreds of them in this bus. Why Rude Boy is watching one right now, I have no idea. Maybe that's just his alibi... Maybe he's really beatin' off or something. I wish I had more news to deliver because I'm really bored and I wouldn't mind typing some more. Only problem is I don't really have anything else to say. Oh well, Peace yall. Until Tomorrow, I'm the Masked Ninja!