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4:13 am
You say “Mmmm Brainz” your brainz say “Mmmmm Jumpsteady”.
Chasity belts unlock themselves for Jumpsteady.
Adam West used to be Batman, then he took a Jumpsteady to the knee.
Jumpsteady doesn't fear the reaper.
There is nothing to fear but fear it's self, and that's Jumpsteady.
Jumpsteady beat the og mario games, on his first try.
When ever Jumpsteady plays duck hung the dog never laughs, even when he misses, which he never does, because he's Jumpsteady.
Clay Aiken used to be manly, Jumpsteady slapped the bitch into him.
Jumpsteady interrupts Kanye West during his award acceptance speech.
Toads lick Jumpsteady to get high.
Jumpsteady does his own tattoos, with the tooth of a cobra and the ink of a squid.
9:36 am
July 27, 2012
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The Leaning Tower of Pisa used to stand up straight, until Jumpsteady…
Jumpsteady is better at doing whatevever it is Woverine does best.
When a zombie bites Jumpsteady, the zombie contracts the Jumpsteady virus.
Jumpsteady created a cure for cancer, but keeps it to himself because he believes in population controll.
Ninjas dress up in Jumpsteady costumes for Halloween.
11:39 am
Moderators
May 22, 2012
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when muhammed ali says, 'im the king of the world!', if you look closely, you can see him mumble, 'at least i would be, if not for jumpsteady.'
jumpsteady has never been photographed with batman, bigfoot, or god. [because his entourage keeps the hound dogs away]
bruce lee and jumpsteady did not, in fact, fight each other. jumpsteady walked into the room, cracked his knuckles, and bruce lees heart stopped.
speaking of bruce lee, did you know he was named after jumpsteady? also, the crime of robbery.
awfully paranoid, arent you?
12:03 pm
July 27, 2012
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Jumpsteady put Charles Xavier in that wheel chair.
Jumpsteady shot Greedo first.
Both Edward and Jacob are team Jumpsteady.
12:23 pm
Moderators
May 22, 2012
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jumpsteady has mastered the 1 inch punch, 1 inch head butt, 1 inch body check, and 1 inch drop kick. of course, he only needs a quarter inch.
jumpsteady stopped starship.
no, much too obscure. how about: jumpsteady built this city, but he did it on half a cup of coffee, not rock n roll.
when an irresistable force meets jumpsteady, he resists. and he wont collide with an immovable object, the object will humbly step aside.
i would say the jumpsteady well is running dry, but the jumpsteady well runs all the way throught the center of the earth and comes out at another jumpsteady well on the other side. [hows that for an overextended metaphor]
awfully paranoid, arent you?
12:35 pm
July 27, 2012
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Vader isn't actually Luke's father, it's Jumpsteady.
Jumpsteady has been disqualified from every MMA ring becuase his fists are legally classified as weapons.
Jumpsteady snatched Odin's eye out of its socket. Odin didn't want beef, so he told everyone he did it to himself.
12:43 pm
Moderators
May 22, 2012
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jumpsteady likes to sit on the devils shoulder and goad him into doing stupid shit.
his pin number is the square root of infinity, backwards.
jumpsteady was audie murphys drill sergeant.
i have it at 164. at this rate, we should be able to make 4-500 easy. if we can get to two, we should print these up and, i dunno, hand em out at the gathering or something. get psy to make posters. somethin.
awfully paranoid, arent you?
1:14 pm
July 27, 2012
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Jesus could make the blind see, but Jumpsteady was the reason they were blind in the first place. And Jump can also turn water to faygo.
Every sunday, god goes to church and prays to Jumpsteady.
McDonalds gives Rob Bruce a cheeseburger every time he tells them he can make limestone from gun powder. And he has, in fact, made limestone from gunpowder.
Every Ronald McDonald is different becuase they keep having to replace the actor. Jump doesn't appreciate hacks stealing his brother's gimick.
1:34 pm
May 26, 2012
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Commonly unknown fact … all those rubber wrist things that say WWJD on them … yeah thats not Jesus .. thats What would Jumpsteady Do?
The character Kenny Powers is based loosely on Jumpsteady.
The reason the Grateful Dead are so Grateful is because Jumpsteady was the one who deaded them.
1:47 pm
July 27, 2012
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Jumpsteady ate Hannible Lector's liver. With applesauce.
Rob Bruce's toejam is a rare delacacy in most nations.
Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon. Jumpsteady was the first, and presumably last, man on the sun.
Jagger got moves like Jumpsteady.
3:03 pm
April 13, 2012
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Jump invented tea-bagging ! 
K R U S H - K I L L - D E S T R O Y !
3:16 pm
If you think white men can't jump, you must not have met Jumpsteady.
Jumpsteady made Simon Cowell cry.
Jumpsteady fired Vince McMahon and Donald Trump.
Jumpsteady shot 2-Pac and Biggie for stealing his rhymes.
Jumpsteady never went to school, he already knew everything.
The Incredible Hulk was modeled after Jumpsteady's dick.
Jumpsteady doesn't do fire drills, fires do Jumpsteady drills.
Jumpsteady brushes his teeth with bleech.
Jumpsteady watched a movie with a ring on it, right after a creepy voice called him and apologized for the shitty movie.
There are four different types of people in this world;dicks, pussies, and assholes. Then there's Jumpsteady.
Jumpsteady brings people out of comas by telling them to wake the fuck up.
When John Hunt reached the top of Mt. Everest he was very disappointing to see that Jumpsteady was already there.
Jumpsteady once beat a man until they turned white, his name was Micheal Jackson.
Jumpsteady never asks, he demands.
Jumpsteady doesn't go places, places go to Jumpsteady.
Jumpsteady never disappoints a lover, but they usually disappoint him.
Black holes happen when Jumpsteady punctures the universe with his fist.
Jumpsteady's ass hairs have been used to weave fine clothing.
Jumpsteady can rap to the beat, but the beat can't rap to Jumpsteady.
5:12 pm
July 27, 2012
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Jumpsteady is the seventh joker’s card.
Nostra Damus actually predicted the day the world pisses Jumpsteady off.
Cops pull Jumpsteady over and beat themselves for his entertainment.
Jumpsteady was Kaiser Soze.
Jumpsteady escaped Cidhna mine.
6:06 pm
April 3, 2012
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jumpsteady and steve irwin went scuba diving,the sting ray saw jumpsteady and stung steve out of fear …
mortins list is really jumpsteadys life story
alex abbiss left cause jumpsteady runs this bitch..
(kinda lame but on short notice)
10:13 pm
July 27, 2012
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Those who believe sharks are nature's perfect killing machine have never met Jumpsteady. Discovery channel's “Shark Week” soon to be replaced by “Jumpsteady Week”.
It was Jumpsteady on the Grassy Knolls.
Most folk are impressed by Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick. Jumpsteady considers it some very pretty ballet.
The difference between Chuck Norris and Jumpsteady: When Chuck kills a ninja, he uses every part. When Jumpsteady kills a ninja, he takes the pelt and donates the rest to local homeless shelters. The homeless like chinese food too. (this joke is horrible and I appologise)
The jedi force is actually just the residual energy from one of Jumpsteady's farts.
12:34 am
April 13, 2012
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if jumpsteady ran psychopathic, it would be a worldwide, underground, super killa movement ! not sum hot topic bullshit !
K R U S H - K I L L - D E S T R O Y !
1:01 am
When Jumpsteady goes to buy something at a store, the store pays him to take the merchandise
Jumpsteady goes to the dentist, not to get his teeth cleaned…but to clean the dentist teeth
Jumpsteady doesnt wear sunblock, the sun wears Jumpsteadyblock.
1:52 am
April 13, 2012
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jumpsteady shows up at hot-topic and they say “I'm sorry” !
K R U S H - K I L L - D E S T R O Y !
9:08 am
April 3, 2012
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Helen keller was deaf and blind cause she witnessed the spectical known as jumpsteady
if jumpsteady was president there wouldnt be any more wars cause everyone would be affraid his wrath
Mozart was deaf because jumpsteady played a tune on the piano that shattered his ear drums
Jumpsteady farted and put a hole in the ozone
The great wall of china and the berlin wall were built to keep jumpsteady out
The dahli lama seeks advice from jumpsteady
eathquakes happen when jumpsteady takes a dump
Volcanos erupt when jumpsteady flushes his toilet
Acid rain is just jumpsteady pissing on the world
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