I saw this come across our news feed today, and though it’s satirical, take it for what you will.  It seems as though Juggalos’ love for Faygo, and now Faygo Slurpees, has been picked up by the site AboveAverage.com.  They put together a list of different soft drinks that Juggalos love that aren’t Faygo.

The article is ridiculous, and is obviously poking fun at Juggalos, but I figured i’d cover it and give them some props for their super dope Photoshop skills.  Here’s the article.

From AboveAverage.com:

Five Soft Drinks Juggalos Go Crazy For That Aren’t Faygo

This week, 7/11 announced it’s brand new Faygo flavored slurpee. Everyone knows that Faygo is the prefered beverage of the Insane Clown Posse and their hoard of juggalos. But what people don’t know is that juggalos have an incredibly wide palate when it comes to carbonated beverages. Here are five other sodas that aren’t Faygo that Juggalos love.

Drill

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After a hard day of jugging, you’ll find many a juggalo sitting down with a two-liter bottle of Drill, a soft drink with flavors like “Scrum” and “The Flaviest”.

 

Rude Juice

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Rude boys and rude girls of the Juggalo persuasion can’t wait to get their black and white paint covered hands on Rude Juice. As tasty as it is acidic, Juggalos often drink this one with a Pepto Bismol chaser.

 

Puddz

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Thirsty? Lots of Juggalos suggest you try out Puddz. Puddz will wet those dry throat guys and make your tummy slosh with slippery goodness. “After hard day’s work clownin’ Puddz is where it’s at, fool,” says Slusshy T. Buz, an insane clown if ever there was one.

 

LLLLLL!!LLL

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Best served after sitting in direct sunlight for hours on end, LLLLLL!!LLL is perfect for when Jugglalos and their Juggalo families want to kick back, relax, and touch up each other’s facepaint. And every Juggalo trying to cut those insane clown calories swears by Diet LLLLLL!!LLL.

 

Slurpy Durp

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Available only in one small suburb outside Detroit, Slurpy Durp has more caffeine than four cups of coffee, making it the preferred drink of sleep-deprived Juggalos who still want to gather.

 

Websites:

• Five Soft Drinks Juggalos Go Crazy For That Aren't Faygo @ AboveAverage.com