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Ask a Juggalo: What’s the best way to hook up at the Gathering?

It’s that time of the week again, Metro Times Detroit has released their latest “Ask a Juggalo”column. This week’s column question is being answered by Vinnie Monaster.

In this column, Vinnie answers the question, What’s the best way to hook up at the Gathering?

It’s obvious that they screwed up and posted the same question twice in this 3 question series, but as soon as they fix it, we’ll do the same.

If you would like to send a question in to be answered, you can do so by emailing [email protected].

From Metro Times Detroit:

Q: This question comes from some guy named Cory Scheffer: I’m going to the Gathering of the Juggalos this year and I have never been. I’ve been a Juggalo for 10 years. I was just wondering what’s the best way to hook up at the Gathering? Seems like with girls, it might be easier to hook up at the Gathering than out in the real world.

A: At the end of the day, it’s up to you how much fun you want to have. And I really strongly suggest that the only the right thing to do is to be clean, be healthy, you know. I would be as clean as possible. Continuously be showering.

Usually I average showering at the Gathering four to five times a day. At the end of the day, hygiene is No. 1. The best way to hook up at the Gathering is be fun. Try being resourceful and generous: Help other people have fun. And don’t party too hard.

Q: OK, this question comes from some guy named Cory Scheffer: I’m going to the Gathering of the Juggalos this year and I have never been. I’ve been a Juggalo for 10 years. I was just wondering what’s the best way to hook up at the Gathering? Seems like with girls, it might be easier to hook up at the Gathering than out in the real world.

A: Awesome sauce. OK, flat out, that Juggalo is in for the treat of his life. If you happen to be a Juggalo, the Gathering of the Juggalos is obviously the place to be. It’s the Wrestlemania of the year. It’s the experience of a lifetime, and each year it’s different. It’s incredible as far as the land of opportunity of having fun. And it’s kind of like Las Vegas: What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Plain and simple, this Juggalo is not only looking out for the Midwest Juggalettes, he’s not only looking out for the East Coast Juggalettes, he’s not only looking out for the Northern Juggalettes, the Southern Juggalettes, the West Coast Juggalettes, he’s looking out for the foreign Juggalettes! This cat has the opportunity of meeting Juggallettes and Juggalos — but more important Juggalettes ’cause he’s trying to get down. There’s Canadian Juggalettes that come in. I’ve met German Juggalettes that come in. I’ve met Mexican Juggalettes, Australian Juggalettes, and I know damn well that there was a Japanese Juggalo a few years back at one of the Gatherings.

Q: Unconscious people don’t have fun.

A: Yes. Absolutely. Nobody wants to pass out. Don’t be that guy. Without a doubt, look for the golden opportunities that are there. Talk to as many people as you can. Try to make as many homies as you can. And at the end of the day, it will happen.

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    Faygoluvers Comments

  1. sketchez

    Comment posted on Wednesday, April 29th, 2015 02:31 pm GMT -5 at 2:31 pm

    just offer them free drinks ..with roofies of course

  2. Mr.Bitches

    Mr.Bitches

    Comment posted on Thursday, April 30th, 2015 02:41 am GMT -5 at 2:41 am

    Used to be u could head on down to the Old Bridge and slide some skank a 15 sack of Chronic for a BJ…If u dont wanna risk catching sciffaluphagous tho.Id keep ur eye out for a lette with some self respect.Not 1 thats taken 15 diffrent wangs to the grill in a 4 day period.

  3. stretchSquiggles

    stretchSquiggles

    Comment posted on Thursday, April 30th, 2015 06:07 am GMT -5 at 6:07 am

    the fact that they actually gave this question the time of day really kinda makes me a little annoyed. it says something about the gathering and juggalos in general. kinda cheapens it ya know.

    “hey come to the gathering and you could get laid!!”

    makes me feel a little uneasy. not to mention how much of a deterrent the thought would be for any self respecting ‘lett who is thinking about going for the first time.

    “if you go you will be spending four days fighting off hordes of drunk dudes trying to get into your pants”

  4. Mr.Bitches

    Mr.Bitches

    Comment posted on Thursday, April 30th, 2015 08:51 am GMT -5 at 8:51 am

    Lets keep it real…The music aint the biggest draw to the Gathering anymore.Crazy Clown chicks and Good Dank is enough to draw in just about anyone.Just throw a ICP shirt on and ur in.Last time I went,People were ripping each other off left n right.Goin in peoples tents.Slangin bullshit dirt J’s to unsuspecting folks.Buncha pilled up fuckers passed out all over the road.People were throwin shit during blazes set…..Twiztid tried tellin folks in there seminars to chill and repeatedly broke down the concept of family n shit.,No one wanted to listen.Its no wonder they moved on.

  5. scruffy

    scruffy

    Comment posted on Thursday, April 30th, 2015 10:12 am GMT -5 at 10:12 am

    oh, shit… twiztid stopped showin at the gathering…?
    thats weird.
    if you think people are fuckin all over the gathering, you been internetting too much. hardly anybody ‘hooks up’ at the gathering.

  6. Mr.Bitches

    Mr.Bitches

    Comment posted on Friday, May 1st, 2015 05:44 pm GMT -5 at 5:44 pm

    “Hardly no one hooks up the Gathering” Cmon scruff.I been to a few.And if u have 2,u know thats a false statment.Hopfuly u made it with sum sarcasm in mind..N yea twiztid still does the gathering.Thered be a fuckin riot if they didnt.As soon as folks heard there wouldnt be a Lotus,Rydas,Or a twiztid show what u think would happen?…Shit would look like the last Woodstock

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