i had this neighbor once [his name was dave, but that doesnt really matter to the story], he had a dog.  it was a shaggy dog.  i mean, a really, really shaggy dog. 

people were always telling him how they just couldnt believe how shaggy his dog was.  a different neighbor of ours, who lived on the other side of dave from me, she had two dogs that were mixes of cocker spaniels and huskies or some shit, and she let them run around the woods all day and never, ever washed em.  they looked like two giant koosh balls, and even they werent nearly as shaggy as daves shaggy dog. 

i suppose i should say that i dont know what breed daves dog was;  some kinda mutt, i suppose.  aside from being extremely shaggy, it had that mutt 'look'.  also, i cant remember the dogs name...  dave gave it a name, some normal dog name like fido or whatever, but everybody called it 'the shaggy dog' anyway, cuz it was just too shaggy to be called anything else [that doesnt really matter much to the story, either]. 

eventually a picture of daves shaggy dog ended up in the newspaper [not on the front page, but still, made it in the newspaper].  after that, dave started getting visitors from all over the place, wanting to see his shaggy dog.  im sayin, it musta been three, four times a week, thered be a handful of strangers standing on daves porch, asking politely if they could pose for pictures with his dog.  some of em drove there from out of state.  seriously, they cared that much about seeing this famously shaggy dog. 

after a couple years of this, dave decided he might as well make a career of it, or at least make a little extra pocket money in his spare time.  the dog didnt seem to have any problem with it;  i think it liked all the attention.  so anyway, dave got his dog an agent [yeah, apparently, you can get an agent for your dog...], and his agent would actually book appearances for daves dog.  house parties, block parties, birthday parties [always seemed to be a party of some sort, dave liked parties].  and everybody would go on and on about how daves dog was shaggier than any dog they had ever seen. 

nothin left for dave to do but go big time.  he and his shaggy mutt were set to appear on letterman, the dog was gonna have a cameo appearance in a benji movie [as benjis shaggy partner], and there was supposed to be some deal set up where actors or other celebrities rent famous pets from people for charity events n shit like that.  the agency for dave and his shaggy dog was so busy talking to curious shaggy dog aficionados that they had to drop three other clients. 

the dog just needed a national accolade to become a huge star, so dave entered him into the only national-level shaggy dog contest, the ungroomers cup.  approximately forty dogs from all over continental america, all competing for title of shaggiest dog. 

daves dog came in seventh.  after the competition, one of the judges said, 'you know, the dog really isnt all that shaggy.' 

OCJ_Brendan said
hmm I think it'd be fresh if people posted stories that were either true or total bullshit and didn't specify in the post.  Then people could try and decipher whether the stories held water or not...*Disclaimer I'm stupid high and this might be a terrible idea*  

ill give you one of each. 

i have worn the authentic, original chewbacca mask. 

i once swapped a junkies pill out with a dummy, just to watch him get his ass whupped when he complained. 

Split1open said
...  Twice after that he would see me in the hood and be like, " hey buddy come here" I'd walk up and he would blast me in the mouth.   ... 

twice?!  

i mean, cmon...  twice?! 

Split1open said
Yea. I'm not the most proud to admit that considering I've branded with some beasts and been stabbed multiple times in fights but something about a 45 I'm my face told me walking away was the smart thing to do G.

not that.  firearm vs no firearm is a no-brainer. 

im talkin bout, how you gonna go up to the guy the second time, and get blown up again? 

setting aside walkin up to him at all...  wouldnt you at least be ready for it? 

is the guy so fierce that you must let him whup up on you on command, lest there be dire consequences later? 

its easy to say some hard shit like, 'oh, idve geared up and gone after him blah blah' [and i mighta done that, circumstances depending; i dont take very well to havin people draw on me]...  but there is no way in hell i woulda just walked up to the guy again, after takin a sucker punch.  

thats what i dont get. 

trivia tack-on:  dirty harry had a .44 magnum, not a .45. 

My roommate and I were out doing laundry one night. We stepped outside to smoke a cigarette and from a few blocks away, we see/heard this guy screaming "Yooooooo! Yooooooooo! Yoooooooo!!!" He's getting closer to us, still screaming Yooo. We're accustomed to bums coming up to us asking for smokes or some change, so we went inside hoping to not be bothered by the dude. He followed us inside still screaming, "Yooooo! Please help me. Do not be afraid of me!" And we're like great, lets go see what he wants. We walk up to him, the dude is missing an arm and has a prosthetic leg. He wanted us to drive him to get his chair and to call his bank to check out how much money he has. Checking his bank account was irrelevant while he chatted with my roommate. He's begging us for a ride home so I called a taxi for the dude instead. So when my roommate and I are out somewhere and we're fucking with people or introducing ourselves at a party, we always let out a long deep "Yooooooooo!" To us, it was funny. Not the shitty situation the guy was in but the Yoooooo itself, how the guy talked and all, was funny.