So apparently some people didn’t know and honestly I didn’t make a post like this I just posted these comments in a thread I was having a discussion in a week or so ago I believe…..

Anyways back in December I had a really big car wreck I was in the hospital a while and wen’t through many medical evaluations all the way up until about a month ago because I was hit by a Swift 18-wheeler and was taking legal actions against them for the 9 fake disks I now have in my back and extreme pain I deal with daily. After the long process I got a settlement about a month ago but the aftermath was pretty much heartbreaking for me. Many of you know that I was a therapist. I helped people that had experienced many different kinds of abuse get through their ordeals so that they could lead normal and productive lives. Well after all my medical evaluations it turns out I am not longer considered capable of doing my job. I have endured a lot of damage to my frontal lobe and I am particularly dealing with draining a lot of fluid off my brain. Because of where the damage and fluid is it effects the filter normal people have that controls speech and impulses….think of it as vocal violent Tourettes with minimal physical impulses or jerks. Basically I don’t think at all before blurting out half the shit I say anymore. I am being medicated but it takes a while to get adjusted and still then I may have hiccups. So here I am at the doctors being told I can not work anymore pretty much the rest of my life. On top of this the damage I received to my head and back have increased my chances of early Alzheimer’s and being in a wheelchair by 50.

On to the second leg of my 1 month fall. A little over a week ago my Wife miscarried. I made the mistake of posting it on my facebook at which point I guess Smack saw it or got extremely lucky guessing and just thought making fun of it would be funny. I said in my Juggalo of the Month thread that due to a person trauma recently I would be holding off on it a bit. Well, while you were at the gathering Smack made another alt and posted a joke about my wife miscarrying in that thread. It has since been deleted by Scottie or another mod but I believe Splitopens response to it is still there for Phantom proof. This believe it or not was not a big deal til I woke up the next day and realized That Split was pretty much the only Ninja that pointed out this was extremely fucked up. Now, in retrospective you guys were gathering so it was entirely fucked up for me to feel this way but in my fucked up mind that’s how it was. MY new FAM had abandoned me I felt at that point.

The last leg of my month of terror was my Grandma 82 years old finally lost her license and is pretty much blind now. Me and my wife are the only relative within reasonable driving distance so naturally we now have to take care of her. I love my grandma but in my current state this leaves damn near everything up to a woman who just went through the trauma of losing her child and a man that has lost EVERYTHING but that woman, taking care of her.

This, all of this. The worst month of my life (and I was locked up for 5 straight years as a child) has broken me. Sure I was always an asshole and joked way to much but it was always fun. I never wished anyone to truly be hurt and I never intended to offend anyone that much. So I decided I was going to try not to troll and be a part of this community without making fun of someone every other post. I am still trying. The head trauma makes this very hard for me to be honest. Telling you guys all this is even harder as to be straight up I can’t even type this without crying like a preteen who just had their first breakup. I have nothing left, I am emotionally, physically and mentally torn down.

There it is. Now you are all up to date.