heroin sucks man.

i watched it do nasty things to some of my friends.

and it always sucks to lose a friend. doesnt matter what its too.

positive vibes brother. celebrate the life he led and not the end etc etc.

When my friend died that wasnt him in that casket. Sometimes i wish i never saw. His face was all fucked up. I dont like funerals. I dont know how long ppl do that for. Im just not good with them. I havnt been to one since…..when i should have.

I been to countless funerals. In my family, we throw a party when someone dies. Not a wake, a party. Mariachi’s and the taco man and everything with the casket there.

OCJ_Brendan said

CellE2057 said
Damn, dude that’s really shitty. I’ve lost some people to drugs (not even “heavy” ones in one instance) and it always felt like life made a mistake or somethin. Like, it wasn’t suppose to happen. Time doesn’t fix it but it certainly makes it a little easier.

I got a new number like last week so if you need an outside source to vent to or anything, message me on here and I’ll give you the new one. Even if you need to just call, cry for a solid hour and hang up without sayin shit that’s cool, man. 

Condolences everywhere in this bitch. 

Thanks homie.  PM me that shit regardless…That way we can hook up the earliest in our Gathering this year as possible. I really liked kicking it with you and Mary and Glo feels the same.  I had my homie that you reminded me of with me all day today and actually told him about you.  He is a talented videographer and actually wants me to introduce him to @scottied at the gathering next year to see if he can get a shot shooting something for the site.  If you two meet tho there can be only one…..

Yeah, I’m hoping we have the same setup this year Mary and I have been missin it since we left (well, about two weeks after. Two weeks of plague made me regret every decision I had made in my life). Uh, I don’t know the guy but listen…I can ddt a mofo out of nowhere. Dude won’t see it comin.

I’d prefer you not call me cryin and shit but eh, ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

I usually bail out of funerals early if I even go so naw, I think that’s normal. That’s shits for the living anyway. If it doesn’t help you, there’s no point (to me anyways). It’s typically a situation where family mourn at the funeral/viewing and friends chill afterwards and share stories. Not sure if it’s a “party” like Rob said but it’s definitely a similar concept. 

There are a lot of folks in here that have lost homies to a needle. Makes me sad. I’ve never personally known anyone addicted to heroin. I was a huge meth head for about 8 yrs. I lost a step father to an o.d. …. Hard timez. After I got off the dope train almost everyone I knew, friends and relatives, all ended up bangin dope. Nasty habit. I’ve seen people I love turn into fiends right in front of me. 

Stay strong and keep yo heads up.

Mr. Tidwell said
Not a wake, a party.

At my mom’s “funeral” (if you can call six or seven people gathered in a public park with a county-issued plastic box full of ashes a funeral) my best friend at the time and I danced with the urn. Pass Me By was one of the songs played. Kind of freaked out the other guests, they were afraid we’d drop the urn, but w/e.

Sorry for your loss, Brendan. Never dealt with heroin, but my mom got HIV and Hep C from the meth needle, it’s what did her in. Watching her degrade is what kept me off of damn near everything, I think. It was ghastly.

If anyone is reading through this later down the road and getting bummed, I’ll just leave this here for you to watch.

This is the best thing to happen from the Miracles spotlight ICP had for a minute or two

My mom got diagnosed when I was pretty young; six or so. She used to swear she’d live to see me graduate high school. I got my GED about a month before she died. 

The last time I saw her in person, she was basically incoherent, and it was heartbreaking. She was living in a hotel off of her SSI benefits. I don’t like thinking about it. I was two states away when she went into ICU, and gave the DNR over the phone. She couldn’t form sentences, at that point, but I distinctly remember, when I told her goodbye, and that I love her, she told me she loved me, back.

I suppose it could have been wishful thinking, but the cadences are something I would recognize.