To fill any interested parties in, My friends sister died this morning at 11:30.  RIP Shane you will be sorely missed.

Thanks guys…We will all do what we can to have her memory live on through her pictures and stories…Im kinda glad I was at work and not with the family…My boy called me to ask how he should go tell her daughter…I had no words for that…At least I got to say goodbye and let her have the comfort of knowing ill always be there for her brother and child.  Thank you all for being so supportive…this is like my second family.

scruffy said
  

I mean brevity is wit…but huh??

What sticks in my head is how proud she was that she used her savings to pay off the medical bills, her rent, basically every burden she was on the world. Thats the kind of person Shane was in her whole life.  She was more worried about her brothers and her daughter and her responsibilities then herself.  I really admire that in a person. 

It makes me feel better so ima share a story about a dark time in my life that she helped me through.  About two years into my battle with Cocaine alot of my family had shut me down for the short term because I was hard to deal with.  I was staying at my girlfriends house and Dan (my homie who btw is in my profile pic hes the big white boy next to me in skull paint) was living in the basement.  I had been trying to sober up and had just woken up from a day of sleeping the blues off when he recommended we go to his sister’s restaurant to eat so I would feel better.

We got there and she sat us down and saw I wasn’t looking to keen.  She said she knew that look and wasn’t here to judge me just to help me feel better and asked what in the world would taste good to me right now.  I told her just to bring me some mozzarella sticks because I was short on cash and wanted to tip her and she told me not to worry and just order what I really want.  I refused being too proud and put in my original order.

About 30 minutes later a Steak Pizzola melt (my favorite thing at her restaurant) came out and she refused to let me pay her.  I told her I wouldn’t take a hand out and she said there was something I could do for her…and it was get some color in my cheeks and stay away from whatever took it away because I was too smart and too important to her to be fucking up like that.  I was humbled and managed to avoid my dealers incessant badgering for alot longer then usual.

RIP Shane…I will be here for little Diana like shes my own.  Goodnight guys my lady is home from work now she wants to talk.

scruffy said
the grieving process isnt a process at all.  its a journey, of sorts.  we dont all end up in the same places on the same schedule. 

and ‘moving on’ dont necessarily mean ‘movin away from’. 

Whats kinda weird and funny is this is almost verbatim what Gloria told me when I called her on my break pissed I couldn’t hold my shit together better….She just added that moving on to a certain extent is learning to carry their memory with you…while focusing on the positive more then the negative…great minds think alike I suppose…