YouTube Video CHILDREN OF THE LIE (This Is What Evil Looks Like!) by Jesse Lee Peterson (Halloween Edition)

Can we post minced Pol's in world war II history month?

So anyway, fuck political posts. Back to Russ.

He and I had a funny disagreement. I said sunsets are better than sunrises. He said sunrises are better than sunsets. He died. He was right.

Old Mr Dangerous said

One of my best friends, circa 1998. To protect his privacy, I will just call him Russ. Russ was one of the smartest gentlemen I had met. He was more of my older brother's friend originally, but sort of fell into my own weed smoking and tripping group of friends at the time. Russ was set to go to law school after just graduating. He wasnt looking forward to 8 years of school, but was overall optimistic. 

He could've been president. Easy. Everyone loved him. If you didn't, then fuck off. 

We learn a lot from people. Every interaction is a lesson. What Russ taught me was how I needed to be a better person. I was going through hell at the time inside my mind. I won't get into it right now, but I had just dropped out of high school and was living at my mom's apartment. Russ came over once and I got mad at him over the most trivial thing ever. Like, the dumbest shit in the history of petty shit. I just chose him as my target that day because I was dissolving inside and he was the nicest guy in the world. 

Life is funny. I am thankful for one thing toward the end: despite me being mad at him and talking about wanting to fight him (over fucking NOTHING), he made a brief trip to my dad's house when I was home. He had some friends with him and he straight up asked me "why do you have a problem with me?". So we talked it out. As best as two teenagers in turmoil could, I guess. 

We made up. 

Then, he drowned. In under a week, if my calculations are correct. He had an asthma attack in midair while doing some daredevil jumps with some other friends off of a waterfall in upstate NY. It was my very first experience with death. I had no idea how to react. Shock, confusion, despair, guilt, shame, anger. All that fun stuff. 

I still am full of rage and hate at times. I'm always attempting to go from moment to moment with love as my guide, if there really is such a thing. I tend to feel that there is. I certainly hope so.

At least we got to make some sort of amends. Because now, even just yesterday, I try to remind myself that we can all die at any second. . . For instance, I was angry at a co-worker the other day and wished to physically assault him, truthfully. I still believe he fucked up, but then I considered his lifestyle and began to worry that he may harm himself with his choice of drugs. What if he died with everyone at my work knowing that I wanted to stomp him over something that really doesn't matter in the end? More guilt and strife. No thanks. So I made it a point to show him that I no longer intended to hurt him.

Maybe that's a selfish way to look at it (being forgiving to people in the pursuit to protect my own perceived reputation/character?), but I'm just being real with you all. It isnt ONLY that. I do care about the guy and dont want to see him in any kind of bad way. People just disappoint me sometimes.

So I think about Russ. And that brief, stupid whirlwind of nonsense hatred on my end. Dude loved me, unconditionally. I could've slapped him for no reason and he would've been forgiving. Who am I to flip over nothing?

Long story short, I continue to make this same mistake. Getting spiteful over dumb shit and losing someone. I have like 5 more stories like this. I'm trying to end the hate book here, but it seems like every few years another chapter appears.  

No, Smack. You must've missed my original post.

Please don't get insidious on this one. Please. I'm not trying to start shit. Let's just keep the good vibes coming. 

In drinking and toking, too, so salud!

the_desirable _smack said
your right I did not see that post

sorry for your loss 

salud  

Fuckin A! Goddamn dickhead lol

This was like 20 years ago but still was my first death. Big stuff.

And now that you ask, "white cops" didnt cause Russ any harm. But they did kill my brother in North Carolina. Ah well.

do you think he really used to blow Marlon Brando??