I found out today – the quiz itself is 2 years old now – there’s a “name that juggalo by their face paint” quiz on a local news site. I’m linking it down at the bottom just for posterity’s sake.

The quiz itself is basic as fuck, but some of the fake answers they made up? fucking hilarious.

ABK’s are “somebody killa”, “krazy killa” and “killa killa”.

Hoodoo’s are “mountain mary”, “crystal’s dad” and my personal favorite…”whistle while you werk”

Blaze gets “pour one out”, “dead not forgotten”, and, obviously, “god”.

Jamie – who they didn’t even give a stage name for AND misspelled his name as “jaime” gets “horatio sampson”, “morgan o’malley”, and the rap name I, personally, am using from now on. “Walker MacMurdo”

Monoxide, who is ALSO just listed under his real name, gets saddled with three equally stupid names. “jim crackric”, “matt heroinric” and “pete mollyric”. which…all just kind of show they have no idea that methric is his real fuckin’ name.

Shags, has to be the collection of best fake names ever. “rad dude”, “owl magick” and “sea lion from hellll”.

J’s are “Sparkle T” – which sounds like a stripper name. “survive X”, which sounds like a static-X album, and “kristmas D” which is obviously a santa clause themed porn star.

and FINALLY, for the dark lotus cross paint…and winner of the “not even trying” award. “dark rainbow”, “dark heart”, and “dark eagle”.

it’s a mixed bag. but I find some of these to be fucking hilarious.

https://www.wweek.com/music/2016/05/24/name-that-juggalo/ for the quiz itself.