wonka69 said
I know who wont be there!

Who?

scruffy said
not gonna make it, im afraid, just wonderin… 

 

whats the catch…? 

 

i feel like i should be offering you a hundred bucks;  then you tell me its all available for the low, low price of $19.95;  and then i go on and on about how i just… cant… believe it. 

If you act now, as a free bonus gift you will also receive an official Certificate of Freshness!  Show everyone how fresh you are with this one-of-a-kind collectible!  NOW how much would you pay?

LuckyNumbrXIII said

DrFreshness said
Big news east coast homies!  It’s my pleasure to announce that due to overwhelming demand… we are now going to be offering… a LIMITED EDITION VIP Philly Mini Massacre Experience!  As a VIP you will receive an EXCLUSIVE one-on-one meet and greet with none other than the Duke of the Philly Mini Massacre himself, Dr. Freshness!  Your meet and greet is guaranteed to include the following flavor:

-Do you love cracking people up, but can never think of anything funny?   Well Dr. Freshness will laugh at ALL of your jokes, no matter how bad they are… “Wait seven ate nine?  Seven did that bitch like it fuckin deserved! Shit homie that’s a good one!”

-Got something to complain about?  Dr. Freshness will act like he’s just as pissed about it as you are… “Fuck that motherfucker, he’s lucky you didn’t beat his ass right there!  Hell if he was here I would beat his ass!  Fuck it let’s go find him right now!”

-Say something weird and inappropriate?  Dr. Freshness will change the subject so fast it will be like nothing ever happened… “um, sure homie, but let me tell you what- that Young Wicked album is straight fire, right?”  Dr. Freshness has got your back!

-Want the recognition you deserve for your talents?  Spit a freestyle rap and Dr. Freshness will automatically tell you it’s the shit!…”Fuck dude how are you not on Psychopathic, you’re so much better than Big Hoodoo!” 

-Too fucked up to speak in complete sentences?  Dr. Freshness doesn’t care, he’ll hang out with you anyway!… “What?  Yeah that’s cool, I’m down to just chill here, let me know when you’re ready to get up of the sidewalk!”

Who wouldn’t want to spend their night like that?  And that’s not all- in addition to the meet and greet, you will also receive:

-One (1) Exclusive Dr. Freshness charm (must supply Dr. Freshness with tin foil)

-One (1) Autographed limited edition plastic cup (subject to availability) and

-One (1) official Dr. Freshness birthday greeting on the Faygoluvers forum

All of this can be yours, for the low, low price of buying Dr. Freshness a drink at the Electric Factory (and not some shitty Coors lite or some shit like that, something classy, like a Dr. would drink).  Also bring some tin foil if you want the charm.

Remember homies this is not just any freshness- this here freshness has been medically approved by a certified doctor in the subject of freshness!  All ninjas who likes freshness are gonna be lining up right and left to get a piece of this, you gotta get on it before it’s too late!

Post of the year. 

Thanks- you better be there!

scruffy said

DrFreshness said 

scruffy said 
i feel like i should be offering you a hundred bucks;  then you tell me its all available for the low, low price of $19.95;  and then i go on and on about how i just… cant… believe it.   

If you act now, as a free bonus gift you will also receive an official Certificate of Freshness!  Show everyone how fresh you are with this one-of-a-kind collectible!  NOW how much would you pay?   

one ten. 

unless its just a post-it note or sumn.  then…  i dunno.  one oh five. 

Scruffy you sound like somebody I could work with- I like people who don’t fuck around with small ass dollar amounts.  No chance you can make it to Philly next week?  Rumor has it there may be a surprise HIGH ROLLERS ONLY Limited Edition VIP Philly Massacre Experience, featuring champagne, caviar, and no limit texas hold em. In addition to all of the regular VIP flavor, you also get the privelege of being able to order Dr. Freshness to get down on his knees and bark like a dog any time you want him to.  All this for the low, low price of buying Dr. Freshness two beers.