The city I live in (Houston) is named after Sam Houston who native tribes called "The Big Drunk". 

And some of u may already know this, but life is good.

When I was in eighth grade I got in trouble for a bomb threat.

I wasnt going to bomb shit first off.

A buddy and I were heavy into the anarchists cookbook, making napalm and matchhead tennis ball bombs etc.

I said in an casual way to him "wouldnt it be funny to smoke bomb the 8th grade dance".

This mother fucker tells someone at school the very next day. Not sure if he was fucking around or trying to be cool I wasnt there for it. Someone else had over heard it though.

Apparently, though, every fucking body at that school knew about it by lunchtime but me.

When I got called in the office toward the end of the day the principal said " I guess you know why your here".

Bro, I had no fucking idea. I found out though.

After many hours of talking and our mom's being pulled in it was decided we weren't about shit and we got some detentions...that was it.

This was pre 9-11. Now sure how long but it was a scant few months before. All these fucking years later and I think about what would have happened to our dumb asses in today's climate. We'd be God damn toast. Itd be over. 

The old basehead who used to live next door constantly knocked on my door to borrow a pen; turns out, according to his methhead roomate, bic pens are turned into rock pipes.

bayAreaShaman said
Or like the first time I saw some body blow a dope pipe out of one of those glass tube air fresheners.

I would always ask myself who the fuck would buy those. I think they come in like ginseng shots or like a little rose in them.  

gas station roses in glass, yeah. baseheads buy 'em, throw the rose away and use 'em as a crackpipe.

a broken lightbulb is also pretty common. you take the metal part that screws into the light fixture off, instant crackpipe.

I seen ppl get a torch to it and strait up blow it to a bubble with a hole.

the meth underworld is so fuckin crazy.

we call meth dope out hear. 

I guess Midwest dope is heron?

jiggles the clown said

gas station roses in glass, yeah. baseheads buy 'em, throw the rose away and use 'em as a crackpipe.

a broken lightbulb is also pretty common. you take the metal part that screws into the light fixture off, instant crackpipe.  

You forgot that first they gotta clean the light bulb out with salt before using it.

The Warlock said
Most people know about Bloods vs Crips.. but most dont know that since 79-80 the real war in south central LA has been Crip vs Crip.. 

I'm genuinely shocked how many people don't know that the crips aren't some united whole.

Really any clique of any kind can start shit with another clique if shit goes down. Whatever colors or shit they rep, whatever name they go under, it don't matter.

Anyways. Things people don't know.

My nickname in Public School was "The School Shooter" 

I've been on Youtube since 2007 (I was 6), and Reddit since like 2009. 

I saw the first Game Theory episode around the day it came out, I knew David Firth before Salad Fingers got big (I saw him on newgrounds), I knew TJ Kirk and Armoured skeptic and the other fuckers back when they actually did videos about atheism, I played League of Legends during Beta, and I watched a fuck load of other things blow up. (I am gonna be such a fucking hipster in 10 years).

Your subconscious decides most of your decisions before the thought actually enters your head.

The word "Laser" is actually an acronym for "Light amplification by stimulated emission of radiation"

Jazz used to have the same bad reputation that Rap currently does, with some of the bigger Jazz musicians not even wanting to be called Jazz because of its negative association. 

Pokemon is the highest grossing entertainment franchise of all time. 

Potato chips were invented when a chef got pissed off and fried the ever loving shit out of an order of chips (fries) because a customer kept sending the dish back.

Fruit Flies have the largest sperm in the animal kingdom.

Technically the age of consent in the US isn't 18, it's 12 with the caveat that it has to be with another minor.

If it was 18 there could potentially be repercussions levied at the parents specifically if a minor had sex with another minor.

If the story of David and Goliath actually happened, David winning is actually extremely likely, because real life gigantism is often accompanied by health issues (especially spinal) that could have resulted in him going down in one hit and not being able to get back up, especially when considering that back then they had no way to prevent those complications unlike now.

It would be more surprising if he did survive a direct hit than if he didn't.

The bible actually says in the book of numbers that if a woman is made pregnant via an affair, the child is supposed to be aborted. In the text specifically, a woman accused by her husband is to be brought to a priest and drink "holy water" from a clay jar, and if the child is not the husbands her abdomen will swell and she will miscarry. 

In reality, the abdomen swelling was caused by poisoning, and it was blind chance if it would actually work. 

And Steven King fucking hates Stanley Kubrick's, The Shining 

Iris The Tranny juggalette said

If the story of David and Goliath actually happened, David winning is actually extremely likely, because real life gigantism is often accompanied by health issues (especially spinal) that could have resulted in him going down in one hit and not being able to get back up, especially when considering that back then they had no way to prevent those complications unlike now.

Well, that's one of those funny things where time just makes things drift and stories get "bigger" than they actually are, and there's a lot of debate about how tall goliath actually was, with most earlier versions of the bible giving his height as being around 7 foot tall; which is no doubt tall even by todays standards but not exactly gigantism levels. - newer versions of the bible have his height as around 9 feet tall