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1:47 pm
November 30, 2012
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I live in a relatively quiet part of town, not much going on usually. Earlier today, I actually saw a car accident happen while dazing out the window during my morning bong hits. It was nothing special or anything horrific, just two old men collided with each other. Well, one guy was just sitting at the stop sign and the other one drove into the front left of other dude’s car. Well, before you know it, three ambulances are out there. That’s right, three ambulances and six EMT’s. For two people. Who can’t possibly be hurt. Wait, this gets better. So, I was wondering what the big deal was, as they stayed out there with nobody moving for over half an hour. I got bored and stopped watching, big deal right? Next thing I know there’s an extremely loud noise surround sound style, it freaked me out in my current high as fuck state, but not to worry, we weren’t being invaded. It was a helicopter coming to airlift one of the drivers to the hospital, which is maybe two blocks away. It’s a mystery to me as to why neither of the three ambulances on the scene couldn’t perform this task, but it perplexes me even more as to why they had to airlift this guy out, as neither car involved in the accident was going more than 5 miles an hour. To be technical, one of the cars wasn’t moving at all. It was seriously like watching a car accident in slow motion, nobody could have been seriously injured during this, not even an infant. He hit dude’s car between the headlights and the drivers side door, nobody even sits there. No chance of whiplash either. Okay, so they airlift this guy out, by hovering above the scene of the accident while the EMT’s attached a stretcher with this guy on it to a rope hanging off the bottom of the helicopter. Then it took off, with this dude JUST HANGING THERE!!! How the holy fuckin fuck is this even legal? How in the holy fuckin fuck do they land with him hanging like that? Now, the helicopter takes off, and nobody moves AT ALL. They sit there blocking the street, which is really just a backroad so no big deal, but I couldn’t figure out what the fuck they were all doing just sitting there. That was until the helicopter came back, and the exact same thing happened, with the other guy climbing onto the stretcher himself, obviously nothing at all wrong with him. He even helped strap himself in for fuck’s sake. Then it took off, the exact same way, fucking die hard style, and flies away. With this dude hanging off the bottom of the fucking helicopter. Is this a ride or something? What the fuckin fuck is going on in Attleboro today? Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that while this was going on a man walked by half carrying half dragging a full sized crucifix. The funny thing? Not one person out there paid the least bit attention to this weirdo. Now, you probably don’t believe me but all this is true, far fetched as it may seem. My question is, how did this happen at 8 in the morning and not make the 12 o’clock news. It didn’t, I checked. It didn’t make the 12:30 news either. This is the kind of shit that should make the news “2 men airlifted die hard style after minor car accident while man re-enacts crucifixion” or “Blatant waste of tax payers money as local man prepares for klan rally.” Seriously, how does this not make the news? Maybe it’ll be breaking news at 5. Now, to top it all off, when I first began typing this, it was because I saw a Chinese man walking a dog down the street. This is quite odd in itself, as people don’t walk food. I’m keeping my eyes peeled for a black man walking a chicken down the street. It must be a full moon or something, I’m staying inside man. I’ve lived here for awhile, and never in all my time here have I even once seen anything worth mentioning happening outside of my window. Now today, all this? What the fuck is going on? Anything weird happening out around your way? I hope it’s not just me, and before you ask, yes, this actually did in fact happen. I wouldn’t make this up, it’s not that great a story. But for real everyday reality, what in the fuckin fuck is going on today? I’m scared to go outside today, something is fucked up around here. I’m staying inside and reading man, fuck that bullshit.
1:52 pm
March 31, 2012
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tldr
1:56 pm
November 30, 2012
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Speak English Warcock, it won’t kill you.
1:56 pm
August 12, 2012
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1:58 pm
March 31, 2012
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patjoyce said:
Speak English Warcock, it won't kill you.
acronyms>>>>
2:01 pm
November 30, 2012
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What the fuck are you reading? My question is, what the fuck is going on in my hometown. Is it just here, or has Captain Trips finally arrived? Is this the beginning of the end? You know the beginning of the end happens in the middle of nowhere, just lettin’ ya’ll know. It could be going down. This could be it.
2:13 pm
December 3, 2012
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Very strange. I can't think of any reasonable explanation for that… I don't know if its like this where your at but around here we have to pay for ambulance rides to the hospital now. I can't imagine the bill of riding the helicopter to the hospital. Some goofy shit man. Unless your about to die there is no reason to bring in the heli…Damn thats weird
There's a gateway in our minds
That leads somewhere out there, far beyond this plane
Where reptile aliens made of light
Cut you open and pull out all your pain
Sturgill Simpson- Turtles All The Way Down
2:21 pm
May 22, 2012
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id say it was an exercise. if youre really that curious, why not just go ask?
oh, that walking the dog bit? booo, hiss.
awfully paranoid, arent you?
2:53 pm
November 30, 2012
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I’m not going anywhere near that man, they wouldn’t answer me anyway. Another strange thing, not one cop or cop car. Cops and ambulances go hand in hand. I’m not going outside at all today. Not until it’s dark at least, when IT’S SAFE. And I agree Scruffy, why walk your dinner? That’s just cruel. Still waiting on the black guy with the chicken on a leash, “Come along now two piece.”
2:57 pm
November 30, 2012
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I hear you Slumerican, I had surgery last year and thy had to transfer me around, four trips total costing me more than $8000. Well, I refused to pay it but that’s what they billed me. I never asked to be transferred and I couldn’t walk, I didn’t have much choice. Ambulance rides aren’t nice, or luxurious, yet they cost 10 times the amount of a stretch limosine. They could’ve sent me to Baghdad or Outer Space for all I could of done about it, try explaining that to them though. The bill is still outstanding, they have a fuckton of nerve thinking I’m sending them a cent, let alone $8000
3:01 pm
May 22, 2012
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1. youve made yourself look like a racist dipshit. four times. sorry, but it is what it is.
2. far as i know, it is only koreans that actually have recipes containing dog.
3. my contention: we should eat dogs. it aint the greatest meat, but its not bad.
awfully paranoid, arent you?
3:07 pm
December 3, 2012
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Luckily you can't go to jail for not paying your hospital bills….yet. Maybe it was an exercise, though I can't see why they would actually crash into each other if it was a drill
There's a gateway in our minds
That leads somewhere out there, far beyond this plane
Where reptile aliens made of light
Cut you open and pull out all your pain
Sturgill Simpson- Turtles All The Way Down
3:11 pm
May 22, 2012
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Maybe it was an exercise, though I can't see why they would actually crash into each other if it was a drill
in my experience, cops and firefighters who have more funding than work do that kinda shit all the time.
awfully paranoid, arent you?
3:25 pm
November 30, 2012
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The cops and firemen weren’t out there at all though. They certainly have a lack of work, which is a good thing. That’s why it seems weird they weren’t there, they don’t have anything else to do. And the Chinese most definetly eat dogs, we had a restaurant up here called the Mon Kou and the got caught by the health department having two german shepards hanging up in their freezer. True story. They claimed it wasn’t what they served, that it was just there for them, but they still got a huge fine because you can’t have that shit in the same freezer as the food you serve I guess. Nobody seems to care though, the Mon Kou is still packed every night, without fail. Once Jerome comes jivin down the street with lil’ nug nug I’ll let you know. That’s not racist, that’s funny. It’s also just stating a fact, most people don’t walk food, like me walking a cow down the street. That would really piss off the people from India wouldn’t it? We have a few here, they’re really nice people. I’m willing to bet all the changes though when I’m walking God down the street with a leash and a cow bell doesn’t it?
3:28 pm
December 3, 2012
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scruffy said:
1. youve made yourself look like a racist dipshit. four times. sorry, but it is what it is.
2. far as i know, it is only koreans that actually have recipes containing dog.
3. my contention: we should eat dogs. it aint the greatest meat, but its not bad.
Lighten up man it was a joke. Pat make a white trash joke and a red dot indian joke so nobody is left out. For the record i'd eat dog if I had to. I'd eat a person if it really came down to it, as sick as it would make me
There's a gateway in our minds
That leads somewhere out there, far beyond this plane
Where reptile aliens made of light
Cut you open and pull out all your pain
Sturgill Simpson- Turtles All The Way Down
3:29 pm
May 22, 2012
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anyone who says racist jokes is all in good fun is fucked up in the brain.
i dont know about the mon kou, but around here, about half the chinese restaurants are run by koreans.
hindus have cows walking the streets all day long, they dont eat beef.
edit: slum, actually, it was four jokes. five, by the time you had posted.
oh, and, even if you dont have to, you should take the time to eat a dog.
awfully paranoid, arent you?
3:30 pm
December 3, 2012
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patjoyce said:
The cops and firemen weren't out there at all though. They certainly have a lack of work, which is a good thing. That's why it seems weird they weren't there, they don't have anything else to do. And the Chinese most definetly eat dogs, we had a restaurant up here called the Mon Kou and the got caught by the health department having two german shepards hanging up in their freezer. True story. They claimed it wasn't what they served, that it was just there for them, but they still got a huge fine because you can't have that shit in the same freezer as the food you serve I guess. Nobody seems to car though, the Mon Kou is still packed every night, without fail. Once Jerome comes jivin down the street with lil' nug nug I'll let you know. That's not racist, that's funny. It's also just stating a fact, most people don't walk food, like me walking a cow down the street. That would really piss off the people from India wouldn't it? We have a few here, they're really nice people. I'm willing to bet all the changes though when I'm walking God down the street with a leash and a cow bell doesn't it?
Funny shit….In western KY this BBQ joint got busted serving road kill. No shit. opossums, racoons, deers, whatever.
There's a gateway in our minds
That leads somewhere out there, far beyond this plane
Where reptile aliens made of light
Cut you open and pull out all your pain
Sturgill Simpson- Turtles All The Way Down
3:33 pm
December 3, 2012
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Well I guess i'm fucked up in the brain then. What cracks me up is people who are offended by jokes are most of the time not the people the joke was aimed at. I love Pryor/Rock/Martin even though they constantly bash white people. You gotta be able to laugh at yourself…..Unless of course your an uptight mother fucker.
*edit. Just like you making fun of boondox fans as country white trash who ride horses to shows and buy spittoons off of hatchet gear. Kind of a double standard there
There's a gateway in our minds
That leads somewhere out there, far beyond this plane
Where reptile aliens made of light
Cut you open and pull out all your pain
Sturgill Simpson- Turtles All The Way Down
3:39 pm
August 12, 2012
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scruffy said:
oh, and, even if you dont have to, you should take the time to eat a dog.
does it taste like chicken
3:41 pm
May 22, 2012
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Slumerican502 said:
*edit. Just like you making fun of boondox fans as country white trash who ride horses to shows and buy spittoons off of hatchet gear. Kind of a double standard there
boondoxs fans are a racial class?
im guessing you dig him. which is fine. but then, why arent you laughing at yourself?
oh, and, no, doesnt taste like chicken. more like the kind of generic meat they served in school.
say…
awfully paranoid, arent you?
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