okay you can judge me... | General Discussion | Forum | Faygoluvers | Forum - Faygoluvers

okay you can judge me...

August 8, 2015
5:56 am

stretchSquiggles

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i wrote a short story!!!

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/567425

ideas and themes completely ripped off ICP so it’s fee. bout 7 pages long, and it took me forever to finish… soooo, yall should check it out and let me know if i “have the skills to pay the bills” so to speak.

ps. this is the first time i have EVER written anything and shared it with any one (self esteem issues and what not)… so i have no idea how good of an author i really am… probably not very good… but i guess you all will let me know…

"HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN, ONCE YOU SURRENDER THE ABILITY TO PROPERLY OPERATE YOUR MIND, YOU ARE THEN SURRENDERING THE ABILITY TO BE THE SHIT. AND THAT ONLY MEANS, YOU AINT SHIT ANYMORE."-SHAGGY2DOPE

August 8, 2015
11:40 pm

OCJ_Brendan

Springfield VA

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Ill check it out on my next day off homie I just downloaded it.

"Somewhere theres a Waffle House thats severely understaffed right now" -OCJ to Scruffy watching a second stage act at the Gathering.

August 9, 2015
5:28 am

scruffy

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ditto, more or less.

awfully paranoid, arent you?

August 9, 2015
6:51 am

stretchSquiggles

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thanks guys

"HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN, ONCE YOU SURRENDER THE ABILITY TO PROPERLY OPERATE YOUR MIND, YOU ARE THEN SURRENDERING THE ABILITY TO BE THE SHIT. AND THAT ONLY MEANS, YOU AINT SHIT ANYMORE."-SHAGGY2DOPE

August 9, 2015
9:49 am

Novocaine, The Blue Collar King

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just downloaded it.

im just about finished the book im reading, i crank it up after that.

definitely keen to check it out.

August 9, 2015
11:38 am

DemonicSwagger

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Pretty dope, man. I liked it

August 9, 2015
11:54 pm

OJ810

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Kinda has A Christmas Carol theme, with a touch of Edgar Allan Poe, Stephen King, and obviously ICP.

You might have potential. Keep it up Homie !

August 10, 2015
5:17 am

stretchSquiggles

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OJ810 said
Kinda has A Christmas Carol theme, with a touch of Edgar Allan Poe, Stephen King, and obviously ICP.
You might have potential. Keep it up Homie !

thatks man, i m so relived to hear it’s not horrible XD i about had a panic attack when i was up loading it

"HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN, ONCE YOU SURRENDER THE ABILITY TO PROPERLY OPERATE YOUR MIND, YOU ARE THEN SURRENDERING THE ABILITY TO BE THE SHIT. AND THAT ONLY MEANS, YOU AINT SHIT ANYMORE."-SHAGGY2DOPE

August 10, 2015
5:50 pm

TheHumanBalloon

Los Angeles, CA

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Nothing wrong with borrowing when it’s fan fiction and acknowledges the source. Downloaded and looking forward to checking it out!

August 10, 2015
7:30 pm

bayAreaShaman

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Just downloaded it let u know what i think when im done!

YOU KNOW THEY AINT NO SUCH THING AS LEFTOVER CRACK!!!- Leftover Crack

August 10, 2015
8:22 pm

Novocaine, The Blue Collar King

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i read it last night.

its not BAD. besides a few spelling errors (unless you guys spell things differently over in the US) it just didnt have that feel. i liked the layout and the story but it didnt feel as gripping, it didnt make me feel as if i was the guy.

But that being said i am a really picky person when i read. i mostly read high fantasy so yeah. it felt very simplistic which i am not really accustomed to.

if it were fleshed out a little, a bit more detail it would have been better to me. I would like to see it turned into a short story series though. different people facing up to the jokers cards.

Keep em coming dude. youve got potential.

August 11, 2015
3:08 am

TheHumanBalloon

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Great story! I really enjoyed it! Really felt real, and good suspense buildup. Reminded me a little of Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol”. I especially liked the ambiguous ending. It seems like the protagonist is done for until you realize he’s still alive and can choose not to take advantage of the girl and to give her family a break. But will he do so? The riddle on the box.

I also liked the way the protagonist is moved back and forth between the everyday world and the world of the Dark Carnival, where it seems to end…or does it?

August 11, 2015
5:41 am

stretchSquiggles

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Novocaine, That Aussie Asshole said
i read it last night.
its not BAD. besides a few spelling errors (unless you guys spell things differently over in the US) it just didnt have that feel. i liked the layout and the story but it didnt feel as gripping, it didnt make me feel as if i was the guy.
But that being said i am a really picky person when i read. i mostly read high fantasy so yeah. it felt very simplistic which i am not really accustomed to.
if it were fleshed out a little, a bit more detail it would have been better to me. I would like to see it turned into a short story series though. different people facing up to the jokers cards.

Keep em coming dude. youve got potential.

thanks for the criticism man.

and yah i knew that spelling/grammar was going to be my downfall XD that was my worst subject by far (spell check is king but i guess it don’t catch everything ) but i still like to write it just feels relaxing when i’m in the mood for it, so maybe ill get better with the spelling issues (i doubt it)

but i never really thought about making it a series… now you got me thinking on how i would do that and keep it fresh… hmmmmm

TheHumanBalloon said
Great story! I really enjoyed it! Really felt real, and good suspense buildup. Reminded me a little of Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol”. I especially liked the ambiguous ending. It seems like the protagonist is done for until you realize he’s still alive and can choose not to take advantage of the girl and to give her family a break. But will he do so? The riddle on the box.
I also liked the way the protagonist is moved back and forth between the everyday world and the world of the Dark Carnival, where it seems to end…or does it?

thanks for the kind words my friend :)

go you people are making me feel good as fuck with alll the niceties i mean i have a big ass smile on my face and sorta got butterflies in the tummy weed i was so afraid i would become the literary “Warlock” of FLH XD i am going to try and write more often now that i know i’m not horrible. thanks again for the critiques and encouragement guys

i can already tell today is going to be a good day

"HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN, ONCE YOU SURRENDER THE ABILITY TO PROPERLY OPERATE YOUR MIND, YOU ARE THEN SURRENDERING THE ABILITY TO BE THE SHIT. AND THAT ONLY MEANS, YOU AINT SHIT ANYMORE."-SHAGGY2DOPE

August 11, 2015
3:58 pm

TheHumanBalloon

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Looking forward to your next story!

August 16, 2015
8:13 am

stretchSquiggles

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so i was thinking and i think i wan’t a cover image for this… any artists out there wanna help me out? i’m thinking i wan’t it to be a realistic kind of picture sooooooo, if you can draw like that and wanna help, let me know weed

"HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN, ONCE YOU SURRENDER THE ABILITY TO PROPERLY OPERATE YOUR MIND, YOU ARE THEN SURRENDERING THE ABILITY TO BE THE SHIT. AND THAT ONLY MEANS, YOU AINT SHIT ANYMORE."-SHAGGY2DOPE