Hi everybody!!!! Alright, i'll be the first one to admit that I have way too much time on my hands, especially now that i'm spending a ridiculous amount of time on paid leave. Sometimes I get bored, i'll admit it. Nobody is really around to talk to during the day, so today when I was on my couch I decided that it would be a blast to smoke some great bud and take a bunch of ativan and neurotin. Then I realized that I could easily just snort the ativan and neurotin, and avoid waiting for them to dissolve in my stomach and just feel the full effects right away. Anyways, this is a great way to get high. Shit, I was lifted. I was so high I felt like I was floating on air, just all laughin and shit so obviously this was a great time to call the NAACP and ask them for some free shit, since they always seem to mjust be giving it away and shit. So I called the above mentioned national hotline and talked to some black dude who didn't find me any too amusing as I repeatededly asked him for a "Cup-O-Soup Nigga!!!!!" so I could "Feed all my seeds and shit. I got nine of them shits yo!! Hook a nigga up, I wanna go to school for free nigga!!! Cup-O-Soup nigga where it at yo!!!" I personally thought it was hilarious, unlike Jamar or Jerome or Jermarcus or Jarule or whatever the fuck his name was. He told me that I was tying up the hotline and hung up. He must've known that I was white. Anyways, not one to be easily defeated, I called back. "Where my Cup-O-Soup nigga!!! Help me feed my seeds yo!!!!! I deserve it, I play basketball and knock up fat white girls!!!!! Give me some help yo!!!!! I'm black yo, I deserve it!!!!! Cup-O-Soup!!!!!" Needless to say, the opeerator at the NAACP was none too amused this time either, neither was he inclined to send me any free shit, you know, because i'm white. I was going to call back when my phone rang and it was my new negro friend informing me that they had my phone number and were forwarding it to the police department. What did I say? You guessed it "Feed my seeds yo!!! Instant rice nigga, instant rice for a nigga!!!!!" He hung up again. I highly suggest you all call this hotline and ask for shit, but don't get your hopes up if you're white, because you won't be getting anything. They only give stuff to black people. Which totally isn't racist or anything. Nope. Not at all. Uh-huh, nope, no racism here.

Please excuse me, I have to go call the United Negro College Fund. Should be fun. And Worthwhile and not a waste of my time at all. Because certainly they're not racist either. I bet they'll help me right out. Let's see.

Later ya'll