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8:53 pm
February 3, 2013
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Tuesday would have been my nephew's 31st birthday had he not passed last May and Wed. was the 3 year anniversary of his best friend committing suicide. Same day, Tuesday, my roommates son goes full retard and tries to shoot up rat poison in a childish cry for attention, which thankfully was in vain. Still same day, Tuesday, roommates daughter and friend are returning from her doctors appointment to arrive home and find her husband swinging from the rafter of their garage. They had to go across the street and get the neighbor to help cut him down. Being that the neighbor is a law enforcement officer and EMT he finds a pulse but no breath so we learn today after the hospital induced a coma and cooled her husband down in attempt to stop swelling then warmed him up yesterday finishing today to learn he has no air getting to his brain and therefore brain dead. Only thing keeping him here is a machine and since he is an organ donor they are going to keep him ventilated until harvesting tomorrow. RIP Elliott! Can't help but feel guilt because I had planned on going out there and staying with them and had put it off because of money being owed to me by people here and wanting to collect the only way I could by staying here and taking it off my rent. Yet I feel like I should have gone regardless and maybe if I had then I would have been there to prevent this from happening. I know this probably isn't the place to unleash this but I can't really do it any where else and felt the need to get this off my chest. In three weeks is the one year anniversary of my nephew's passing overnight with my niece waking in the morning to find him. All of this has me feeling like WHAT THE FUCK ELSE can go wrong and what's next? Only bright spot has been the birth of my best friend's, since I was 15, grand daughter.
9:29 pm
September 18, 2012
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Hope shit gets better, rember that death isn’t the worst that can happen and that it’s not your fault. You being there probably would have only delayed his attempt. Never morn a loss celebrate the memories.
9:32 pm
March 31, 2012
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Suicide is selfish
10:58 pm
December 3, 2012
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My heart goes out to you and yours man. Like lucem was saying, it isn't your fault and there wasn't anything you could have done to prevented it. @ ILL everyone who commits suicide knows that it is selfish that's such a fucking pointless thing to say.
Maybe you haven't been in that position, where you know you should be grateful and know that you take things for granted, but you can't help but feel like giving up. There IS always a better way to handle it, but some people feel that they have exhausted all avenues. I just hope his family will cope well. It's definitely not easy
There's a gateway in our minds
That leads somewhere out there, far beyond this plane
Where reptile aliens made of light
Cut you open and pull out all your pain
Sturgill Simpson- Turtles All The Way Down
11:11 pm
March 31, 2012
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Slumerican502 said:
@ ILL everyone who commits suicide knows that it is selfish that's such a fucking pointless thing to say.
doubt it… agree that its pointless to say tho…
11:19 pm
March 31, 2012
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Everybody who commits suicide knows it's selfish? What foolish thoughts you have. I knew somebody who committed suicide after losing his wife due to cancer. The suicide note was about his pain of losing his wife… He had a 13 year old son who came home from school to find his dad dead. Do you think the dad realised how selfish it was to leave his son alone like that? Answer No.
11:22 pm
March 31, 2012
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You know what anybody commits suicide is a coward. How does that make you feel? Anybody who commits suicide is no equal of mine as they can't take one bad turn in the ever changing thing we call life.
1:05 am
December 3, 2012
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Of course he knew that he'd be leaving his son alone. of course he knew it wasn't all about him…He just didn't have the capacity to care anymore
I sincerely hope that you aren't that despicable of a human being
There's a gateway in our minds
That leads somewhere out there, far beyond this plane
Where reptile aliens made of light
Cut you open and pull out all your pain
Sturgill Simpson- Turtles All The Way Down
1:52 am
March 31, 2012
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He didn't know he would be leaving his own son as any person logical enough and capable of facing a loss or adversity would think of their kid in that situation. He was a selfish coward and a piss poor excuse for a human. Maybe you trying to sympathise for those who commit suicide is that of a despicable human.
6:24 pm
February 3, 2013
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Lucem Ferre said:
celebrate the memories.
TRUE!
iLLtheClown said:
Suicide is selfish ; is a coward
In your right mind it's a reasonable response to think so but if you've never been in someone's shoes and obviously this second stroke placed him outside of his normal thought pattern especially when it had severely damaged his frontal cortex. Maybe he thought it to be selfless to commit what we perceive as a deplorable as opposed to being selfish by remaining such a “burden” to loved one's. To me it takes some serious guts to actually pull it off the way it was done. To be known to always carry a blade and to specifically not have it on you or nearby speaks volumes towards his intentions. You can call it however you want but in summation he's gone and we're left to deal with the aftermath and, to me, this isn't the time to place blame or unreasonable speculation as to the act, in and of itself or in general, nor his state of mind yet it's imperative to lend a helping hand, ear, shoulder and heart to all those loved one's so adversely affected by this tragic event.
6:30 pm
March 31, 2012
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If you kill yourself somebody has to pay to bury you, right? Still a burden. Shoot yourself somebody has to clean it up, right? Kill yourself somebody has to find you… The trauma on that person. Still a burden. We've all contemplated suicide at some point. Those who killed themselves though couldn't deal with a bad moment.
8:26 pm
February 3, 2013
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Wasn't justifying it nor diminishing the after effects neither physical nor mental and obviously they couldn't deal with bad, in this case, moments. Was trying to touch on the financial aspect of dealing with the loss of the ability to perform work and/or tasks previously easily accomplished and the feelings of worthlessness that I too have felt. I've tried it and if not for a bad shell would have missed so much that at the time was unable to foresee. Left this out earlier that I have gone through similar situation when I started having problems both physical and mental of my disease. Which further lends the feeling of failure in helping with his situation. Wish people would open up and discuss these feelings but having gone through it myself I can understand how one might clam up. After all aren't we led to believe that men should not cry or bitch or moan and just suck it up and deal with it. This is part of the problem when our societal norms are askew of what really should occur in regards to true healing. I greatly appreciate all of everyone's viewpoint's and is exactly why I created this topic in effort to assist in lending some sort of credence.
6:13 am
February 3, 2013
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Just keeps getting better. After letting my dog back in yesterday he crawled up in my lap and had a seizure. Thankfully someone was here that had experience with their dog and let me know what to do and helped sooth him. Never happened before with him and he's been fine since.
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