I wish I could seen his face

Glad your ok man. Did the airbag deploy? It fucking BLOWS getting hit in the face by one. I was hitting a bud road with a few buddies about seven years ago and wrecked going like twenty lmao. We were going to cross this bridge and I was supposed to slow all the way down because the bridge was a little raised off the road.

I dont know if it caught the axle or what but we went from twenty to zero in no time. It actually pushed my motor back. I totaled a car going twenty.

My brother was sitting shotgun and was hitting the bong as the airbags went off. Luckily the bong was small and plastic.

Anyways were we deep in the sticks with no service and had to walk a few miles back towards town til we could reach somebody.

Good times great oldies

I just found out my best friends gay- Today was a bad day

e-cookie to anyone who knows where that line came from

That sucks LTB man. It beats getting rear ended in jail though, right? Right. You know, a lot of porn movies start that way. “Oh, you don’t have insurance? That’s okay, I’m sure we can work something out…..” And …..ACTION!!!!! LTB (Who doesn’t jerk off, by the way) is having a grand old time ending in an epic facial that gets her crying all over again. All seems to be fine and well and shit until LTB’s Dad shows up. He starts to get upset, “I mean, on the side of the road? With school buses driving by? What son, what we’re you thinking?” “She didn’t have insurance Dad.” “Oh…..Well I guess that settles it then. At least you’re not jerking off.” “No way Dad, you and Mom told me I’d go blind if I kept doing that.” “That’s right son, you’ll be so blind, you won’t even be able to see your hairy palms.” “Thanks Dad, don’t tell Mom okay?” “Sure thing son, this is what happens when you don’t have insurance. Stupid Bitch.” The girl says “Hey!!!” “Oh, sorry dear, forgot you were here, I was talking to my son about the dangers of masturbating. Run along now LTB, I’m proud of you.” LTB leaves, the girl turns to him and asks for a wet nap to help clean herself up. LTB’s Dad says, “I don’t have any wet naps, but I have some napkins you can use. I’ll spit on them.” “Thank you sir. You’ve been very kind, but you do know that masturbating won’t make you go blind though, right? I mean, that’s an old wives’ tale.” “Of course I know that, but we had to tell him something. Little shit was jerking off all over the place. At the dinner table, on the swing set, in the front yard, I mean, the neighbors were starting to complain. Anyways, mind your business young lady. Look, you missed a spot.” The frightened little girl commences to clean the huge LTB dumped load off of her face, while, unbeknownst to her, LTB’s Dad is running her plates. Turns out she has a lot of unpaid parking tickets. And here is where scene 2 begins…….

You are most welcome LTB sir. As always, it is a pleasure if I can amuse you or anyone else out here.