Hey fam, hope everyone is having an eventful drunken holiday season. That being said, just wanted to throw a little fuck you out there to all you politically correct assholes who seem hell bent on shitting on someone else’s good time. Me and my girlfriend recently bought a house, and like every other middle class white couple, we decorate that shit. And by we I mean she buys the lights and makes me put them up, at night, while she gets to stay inside nice and toasty by the fire while I freeze my one remaining ball off. I hope she doesn’t want children. Anyways, she put up a big ass Merry Christmas sign that lights up every color in the jumbo crayola box a couple nights ago, and last night one of our new neighbors decided to come over and demand that we take it down. They even called the cops, but that came later. It wasn’t because we put up a sign that was too bright, or any other suitable reason that might register a legitimate complaint. You see, our new neighbors are Jewish, and seem to be more than willing to turn us into bigots by December the 25th.

Being Jewish (Don’t blame us, we don’t even know you), they don’t want to look out their front window and see Merry Christmas and our big ass Griswold style Christmas tree in our front window. I told them I didn’t want to have to work for a living, so perhaps we could be disappointed together. Failing to respond to this, I asked them “Wasn’t that a really big menorah on your front lawn not that long ago, and weren’t there stars of David all over your property as well?” They said those decorations were put away, seeing as how Hanukkah was already over this year. So I said “Yeah, but while those 8 crazy nights were in full swing, didn’t you have all that bullshit staring us in the face?” Rather than answer my question, they got upset over me calling their decorations bullshit. Wasn’t intentional, I just swear a lot. They demanded we take down our decorations, as their people had been persecuted for hundreds of years. No, I’m not kidding. I told them, that while no doubt their people had undoubtedly been persecuted unfairly, I failed to see what that had to do with Christmas. Or anything. They replied that they shouldn’t have to be further persecuted by having to look at our front lawn for the rest of the month. I failed to see how multicolored lights have anything to do with persecution, and informed them that they seemed a little young to be survivors of the holocaust. Just because other Jews had it rough (Back in 1942), doesn’t give you a free ride in my neighborhood. They called me a Nazi, YES, a fucking Nazi, and called the cops. They didn’t do shit, told them to go home. On the way back, the guy actually kicked the Merry Christmas sign and fell over. Him, not the sign (There is snow on the ground). Even the cop laughed, in which they called him the Gustapo. I’m pretty sure that Hitler’s secret police didn’t roam around Poland stringing up Christmas lights and enforcing their stay upon the houses and trees, but I could be wrong. Unlike my neighbors, I do acknowledge that I wasn’t actually alive back then. They promised redemption for their people. I told him matza ball soup sucked. I don’t know why, I just did. And they wonder why the world hates and persecutes them. It’s no mystery to me, if the rest of them are anything like the 2 fruit cakes who showed up on my front porch last night.

So, if you have people like this in yopur neighborhood, I feel your pain. My whole point in all this was, basically, why do they get to decorate for their holidays and we don’t? Seems kind of ridiculous to me, and if it does to you also, you are apparently a Nazi. Happy Holidays ninjas, Sieg Heil!!!!!