When I lived in nc I bought a three pack of “new” boxers that when I took the home, smelled like dead mice. Then my mom got drunk and told this hot chick that was at our house about it.

Sean Law said

Old Mr Dangerous said

When I lived in nc I bought a three pack of “new” boxers that when I took the home, smelled like dead mice. Then my mom got drunk and told this hot chick that was at our house about it.

this got a legit LOL from me. i can almost hear girl go ew

Even worse, she didn’t make a peep. So you know she was suppressing a gag that was 50% primal disgust and 49% societal disgust, and maybe 1% pity. 

Imagine if I’d worn the aforem aforementioned undies before sniffing them. Then I’d taken a young lady to bed. Gotten intimate. In the dark, where scent senses ramp up due to the sight sense being put on the back burner… imagine the reviling… the horror, the.. horror,. Of my rodent drawers… my odorus vermin victorias secrets.. well maybe not Victoria’s secret, but you get the gist… “imagine dead rat dick, between your thighs.. the mouse might be dead but I’m sexy bitch!!”

I one time, when buying new shoes, forgot to get the alarm thingy taken off. So when I went back in to get it taken off the dude said I could keep it. Now I can make alarms go off when ever I want.

LuckyNumbrXIII said
You should go in and out of a specific store making it go off over and over for like… a year.  Make it so all the employees know you, and they know that it always goes off… say you have a pacemaker because you were born with a heart condition or something… then after they all get used to it, start stealing shit.

I can’t because 1 I’m too busy to do that shit and 2 I have too much  pride to steal.

I’m gonna make money off the shit

Like a jenkem dealer

I wanna get honey from the pit

Like a bacon stealer