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contest giveaway, real version
Tags: flh forum
July 18, 2016
3:22 pm
scruffy
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May 22, 2012
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the actual big ridiculous giveaway contest
   
yeah, yall thought i forgot about the shit, right?  or maybe it was that yall forgot about it.  i forget.  
 
lets get to it, though.  
the prize:  
first prize is a sealed copy of chronicles of the dark carnival.  

]  that aint it, but its substantially the same shit. 
second prizes is a set of steak knives*, third prize is youre fired.  

how you can vie for the prize:  
there are a number of ways to submit a valid contest entry.  
-  post an awesome juggalo pet picture.  it must be your pet, and the picture itself must demonstrate juggalo awesomeness; any accompanying stories or whatnot will not be considered when judging.  same with photoshopness.  
-  tell the story of how it is you got to be a juggalo.  tell it good, like you wanna tell it.  but dont lie about anything.  
alternately, the story of how or why you got into fagyoluvers, or the forum specificly, will also work.  
-  by popular demand, ima throw in the most impressive armpit hair category.  apparently, lots of people thought they can win with that one.  im skeptical, but ya never know. 
armpit hair only, mufuckas.  znasty enough as it is, dont let yourselves run too wild, now.  simply post a picture.  one will do.  
-  write a story that serves as a sequel to wizard of the hood.  'return to, uh, the hood', or whatever.  
if you think about it, its kinda odd...  j starts out in his crack house, which you would think was in the hood...  then goes to, well, the hood...  then returns home to, um, the hood...?  
anyway, write a sequel.  
-  make a flh forum flag, or banner, or bandanna, or t-shirt, or cool lil piece of thing that ninjas will look at and think, 'nice!  flh!' when they see it.  post a picture of it.  
no, you cant use existing flh merch of any kind.  not even a sticker.  gotta be from scratch.  i mean, you can use it, it just dont count toward victory. 
yes, i understand that there isnt all that much time for this kinda thing.  that will be taken into consideration.  when judging.  
-  juggalo mad libs.  i put this one last cuz its got all extra shit needs to be stuck with it.  to wit:  [Plural Noun]  [Plural Noun]  [past-tense verb]  [Year]  [Plural Noun]  [plural noun]  [Brand Name]  [Event]  [noun]  [noun]  [length of time]  [noun]  [past-tense verb]  [plural noun]  [plural noun]  [noun]  [present-tense verb]  [Length Of Time]  [verb]  [event]  [noun]  [past-tense verb]  [noun]  [person]  [Noun] 

in addition...  
it is possible to instantly win.  
to do this, you must post the correct answer to the following question:  
-  WHO IS THE BARTENDER?  

'rules':  
contest begins as of this post, ends the moment i return home from the gathering.  
at that time, or shortly thereafter, i go through everything in the thread, and decide what was most entertaining.  or interesting.  or impressive.  or just deserves to win, for whatever reason.  
this assumes that there is something impressive, interesting, or entertaining in the thread.  

contest is open to any faygoluvers member who:
1]  signed up before 17 july 2016
2]  had at least 17 posts, as of that date
3]  is not gathering this year  [you wanna win sumn from me at the gathering, attend some massacre]  
and 4]  must be willing to pm me your mail drop, cuz, ya know, the prize n shit.  
sigh.  i hate to be raw, but...  5]  if you dont live in the united states, then ya gotta agree to split the shipping, or some shit.  work with me.  

getting the most quotes or lols or whoops doesnt help you win.  dont spose it hurts, but what helps you to win is impressing and/or entertaining me, when i check it out.  

there.  have fun and play nice.  

* steak knives may be metaphorical. 

Whoop Whoop, scruffy :

Nyro, Violentdope

  awfully paranoid, arent you?   

July 18, 2016
6:39 pm
Pigg
영덕, South Korea
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Forum Posts: 6489
Member Since:
August 6, 2013
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I want to enter this. If someone gets the bartender question and wins it instantly I will be pissed. Is it the same chick who gave away free jello shots if you remember her name? 

July 18, 2016
6:44 pm
CellE2057
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Forum Posts: 1346
Member Since:
September 19, 2014
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Well damn. Writing a sequel to Wizard of the Hood would be the shit. 

Will someone do that one? I'm curious to read what can be done with that topic. There's so many roads that can be gone down. 

July 18, 2016
7:44 pm
BlazinStranger
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Forum Posts: 103
Member Since:
November 22, 2015
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How I became a juggalo 

7 years ago I was still living with my mom and step dad my step dad kicked me out a couple times a week so I always had my survival gear under the trailer anyways this new girl moved three trailers down and I instantly started spitting game we hung out she let me suck on her tits and I was ready to fuck her unfortunately her mom got home and the girl told me to hop out the window and told me to come back at 10 that night so I went home and waited for my step dad to pass out drunk when he did I made it look like I was sleeping by stuffin my blankets ya know  so i snuck out and went to knock on this chicks window but when i got there the bitch was asleep i tried to wake her up but she didnt so i went home disappointed as i walked around the corner of my trailer and who is sitting there waiting for me my fucking step dad he yelled at me saying what the fuck you leave my front door unlocked we could have got killed and yada yada then he said the cops were on the way i was like FUUUCCCKK i grabbed my survival gear and started running to the tree row nearby the trailerpark and slept behind a haybail for the night 

Continued in another post because my phone fucks up alot

Love yourself but not with yo ego otherwise you'll say you's above all these other people-Blazin Stranger

July 18, 2016
7:57 pm
BlazinStranger
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Forum Posts: 103
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November 22, 2015
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How I became a juggalo (continued)

I woke up the next morning and decided I needed to go to a different town so I started walking I didn't have food or water but I didn't give a fuck cause I didn't want to get arrested so I probably made it like five miles the first day and I went to sleep I was awoken by the sounds of footsteps I looked around and there was like 5 coyotes I hopped up and started flapping my arms and yelling which scared then away now that I was awake I realized how thirsty I was so I started looking for water I walked for an hour and a half and I thought for sure I was dead then I looked to my left and saw a farm house poking through the trees so I ran over there and looked through the fence and saw ostriches of all things fucking ostriches and they had a water tank to drink from!so I jumped the fence and drank my fill then filled up my canteen

Continued 

Love yourself but not with yo ego otherwise you'll say you's above all these other people-Blazin Stranger

July 18, 2016
8:12 pm
BlazinStranger
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Forum Posts: 103
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November 22, 2015
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How I became a juggalo

(Continued)

It took my a whole week to finally get to another town it was a small town of about 60 people called Cairo I sat on the side of the road wondering what to do next when a pickup truck pulled up next to me the man in the drivers seat asked if I was alright I said I'm good and he asked if I had anyplace to stay I said no and he said get in so I did and he took me to what I could only describe as a hippie commune it was like five trashy trailers in a circle with a fire pit in the middle so I stayed there for a month and everyone was cool but they told me I had to contribute to the community so I told them I knew about an archery range that had all kinds of good shit and it wasn't locked so me and two dudes loaded up in the truck and headed to the archery range we got there loaded up on goods and went back to the community it was good enough for them a week later we were smoking a bowl in one of the trailers and someone knocked on the door so I went to answer it I opened the door and got tackled

(Continued)

Love yourself but not with yo ego otherwise you'll say you's above all these other people-Blazin Stranger

July 18, 2016
8:35 pm
BlazinStranger
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Forum Posts: 103
Member Since:
November 22, 2015
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How I became a juggalo

(Continued)

I got arrested and sent to juvie for a month then they shipped me to a boys home in Wichita ks so I had a lot of problems there because I was very rebellious about a week after being there one of the staff took me to a room and told me he was gonna rape me luckily I had a shank I pulled it out and he grabbed it and started stabbing himself then ran out of the room saying I stabbed him so I kicked out the window and jumped out and started running towards the school they enrolled me in there was a river next to the school and a bridge I slept under the bridge for the coldest night of my life it was winter time snow on the ground and I was in a T-shirt not even a fuckin hoodie so I went in the school the next morning and found my homie he said I could stay at his pad so I left the school and hopped in a trash can where I told him I would meet him so school ended and he met me there and told me I couldn't stay with him because his mom would trip but said he could give me a ride I said okay take me to Megan's house (one of my home girls from school)she said I couldn't stay with her but said her boyfriend was cool and would let me stay there so she went to introduce me he was one cool ass dude let me stay with him and kept me fed gave me smokes and got me stoned he was the shit he told me i was family cause i was a juggalo i said what is a juggalo lol and he showed me the song on youtube and ive been a juggalo ever since i stayed with him for 3 months then i just left one night i didnt want to be a burden so i left a note and dipped out i was homeless for two years after that i met a down girl and eventually got my charges taken care of so thats my story of how i became a juggalo it was a little lengthy but i left out a shitroad of details hope yall enjoy whoop whoop!!!

Love yourself but not with yo ego otherwise you'll say you's above all these other people-Blazin Stranger

July 19, 2016
1:08 pm
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Nyro
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March 10, 2016
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lol, been away. Didn't see this. Kudos to scruffy much love homie.

July 19, 2016
6:49 pm
Pigg
영덕, South Korea
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August 6, 2013
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Someone's taking advantage of Scottie being at GOTJ.  

July 24, 2016
9:59 pm
BlazinStranger
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Forum Posts: 103
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November 22, 2015
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once upon a time in southwest detroit there was a man in facepaint smokin a joint he went on a magical journey to another land but now that he was back home his life was kinda bland he just sat in his crackhouse all day sellin rock it was the shittiest house on the whole fuckin block One day a meth head came to Trade for some shards He said i got this dusty old lamp and a couple jokers cards violent j said ill take it the lamp looks tight rubbed off the dust  and a genie appeared he got hella hype the genie said you only get 1 wish violent j said im tired of sellin crack get me out this bitch the genie nodded and said as you wish violent spun through the fabric of time and arrived to a voice that said your right on time  it was the scarecrow puffin on some kind

Continued 

Love yourself but not with yo ego otherwise you'll say you's above all these other people-Blazin Stranger

July 24, 2016
10:31 pm
BlazinStranger
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Forum Posts: 103
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November 22, 2015
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He was so happy with his homies all around they were happy to see him but they looked a little down j said what up with Yall what you bummed about we runnin outta weed we damn near out you know that ho that you killed with yo house j said yeah the wicked witch of the south well two weeks ago we were gettin super stoned when that bitch harvested all the bud we had grown j said what where this bitch live she lives by the ocean with her twenty five kids J said lets go which way is this bitch the lion said follow the weed dont even flinch that bitch spilled half of it off her broom oh did i mention she stole our shrooms they set off together following the trail of weed that the witch had left when she fuckin fleed 

Continued

Love yourself but not with yo ego otherwise you'll say you's above all these other people-Blazin Stranger

July 24, 2016
10:55 pm
Neverthrive
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July 27, 2012
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If they're nearly out of weed, and the witch left half the weed she stole on the ground then why don't they just... pick it up? Are they too good to smoke weed that's been dropped on the ground? 

daisies2-4.jpg

July 24, 2016
10:56 pm
BlazinStranger
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Forum Posts: 103
Member Since:
November 22, 2015
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The witch sat in her cottage getting blazed she looked in her crystal ball and was amazed five muthafuckers were headed to her place she called her children to her and stared them in the face she said go stop them no matter what the price go kill them fuckers dont be nice her children were all monkeys with wings an shit she cast a spell on them when they were throwing a fit the witch jf you do this for me i will let you be humans again an set you free so the monkey kids left with a quickness for if they completed the mission theyd be cured of theyre sickness

Continued

Love yourself but not with yo ego otherwise you'll say you's above all these other people-Blazin Stranger

July 24, 2016
11:24 pm
BlazinStranger
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Forum Posts: 103
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November 22, 2015
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So the 5 homie followed the trail of pot storing it in the scarecrow so it wouldn't get lost They walked for 5 miles gettin baked along the way They were catching up on shit it was midday the wiz said look up in the sky what the fuck is that the lion said dog thats a flying rat j said no it looks like a chimp with wings they all got pelted with the poop it flings yo what the fuck its throwin shit at us look homie i dont think it really matters there a shitload of them bitches comin they got axes we can hear theyre wings hummin the scarecrow said yo lets jump into that pond so they did and within seconds they were fuckin gone one by one they emerged from a culdron  full of soup still panting and sweatin all covered in poop

Love yourself but not with yo ego otherwise you'll say you's above all these other people-Blazin Stranger

July 24, 2016
11:48 pm
BlazinStranger
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Forum Posts: 103
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November 22, 2015
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They were in a house looked at each other in shock what the fuck just happened we just came out of a pot they stopped for a second j said you smell that guys they said all we can smell is shit and we covered in flys j said I smell some green they walked down a hall you'll never guess what they seen...it was they're weed but scarecrow said hes packed well empty out the hay cause we aint got no sacks as they stuffed the herb into the scarecrow they heard a voice cackle well what do you know they all flipped around son of a bitch they were face to face with the wrinkled old witch j said everyone gather some spit but noone could cause they were kottonmouth and shit plan two whip out your cocks piss on this bitch melt her into the rock the witch started melt but before she Vanished she waved her wand and the 5 were banished j said my pad were in detroit tin man said cool now lets smoke a fuckin joint the lion said wait why she send us here yo j said fuck it the world may never know

Love yourself but not with yo ego otherwise you'll say you's above all these other people-Blazin Stranger

July 24, 2016
11:55 pm
BlazinStranger
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November 22, 2015
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Well that's the best I could come up with off the top of my head 

Quick question if I glue a bunch of hair from my tub on my armpits will that count?

Love yourself but not with yo ego otherwise you'll say you's above all these other people-Blazin Stranger

July 25, 2016
12:18 am
BlazinStranger
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Forum Posts: 103
Member Since:
November 22, 2015
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Oh and is the bartender Jared Or gary or carter?

Love yourself but not with yo ego otherwise you'll say you's above all these other people-Blazin Stranger

July 25, 2016
12:25 am
JC
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July 6, 2014
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Just read all this and holy shit @blazinstranger whoop whoop

July 25, 2016
12:43 am
BlazinStranger
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Forum Posts: 103
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November 22, 2015
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Whoop whoop @JC MCL homie!!

Whoop Whoop, BlazinStranger :

JC

Love yourself but not with yo ego otherwise you'll say you's above all these other people-Blazin Stranger

July 25, 2016
1:45 am
scruffy
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Forum Posts: 11447
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May 22, 2012
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right. 

contest over.  judging will commence... later. 

aint read shit from it yet, but im tired as hell and got a lotta lot to get to.   i gets back to it. 

  awfully paranoid, arent you?   

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