Stuff this in your stocking @missletoe

Santa doesn't exist... because I fucking drowned him in the Atlantic ocean for talking shit

Actually I just stomped his fat ass till he looked like a lumpy waffle and left him looking like frosty with two black eyes in honor of the coal he left me when I was 5. I gave his reindeer some meth and watched his final cold winds blow through his two front missing teeth as the reindeer shredded him to pieces like he was a giant gingerbread treat.

There's nothing better than watching a cookie molester become the cookie!

Now that I got my bag back and left him in the cold, I will share the contents of this bag with the world. There is plenty of Gnowledge and Wealth to go around and I'm not a greedy bitch either. This bag is by far the most interesting and all mighty bag I've ever chased after and Im still de-psyfurring the bags contents but some of the artifacts in the bag are juicy and would be selfish of me to hold on to any longer...so let's find out What's In The Bag