The thing about these relationships is they always tear down your self esteem to try and make you think it’s your fault or that you deserve it or that you’re not worth more. You lose focus of who you are by forgetting what makes you great and obsessing on the things that you don’t like about yourself. And you never really learn to accept your flaws when you hate them so much and you try so hard to reject them or shun them. If you truly examine people around you, you’ll notice just how imperfect everybody else is. And when you truly love someone you learn to accept their flaws and even some times you even fall in love with the things that are wrong with them as much as you do with the things that are right with them. As Lupe Fiasco says, “Love is Looking Over Various Errors”. So I think the first step to helping yourself is learning to love yourself. Those flaws and those imperfections they highlighted for you, you have to learn to accept them as part of who you are and quit trying to reject them or hide them or hating yourself for them. And then learn to accept that there are things you love about yourself too. And highlight them in a way where you aren’t trying to hide your flaws. Just accepting yourself as who you are and becoming comfortable with who you are will drastically help you rekindle the self esteem they stole from you.

Quit worrying what others think too. We aren’t perfect. Most people’s perceptions are programmed into them by the culture or identity or group they choose to associate with. It’s meaningless. It’s such disgusting high roading bullshit when they try to make you feel low for this moment of weakness as if they don’t have their moments. It’s a cheap way of getting their own little momentary high off of self esteem with out truly accepting themselves. And they’d be even worse if you actually fought back so fuck these stupid fuckers. Personally, I’d probably have beaten on the bitch myself if I were in your shoes. Not something I’m proud of, but hey, I know myself I know what I am capable of and I hope I wouldn’t but I know it’s possible. Might make me a P.O.S. but I don’t care. Definitely makes me a P.O.S. in others eyes already. Sounds like they’d go out of their way to try and assassinate your character if you tried.

Keep ur shit straight and u’ll be able to see ur kid, especially if the bitch is that bad. Just remember this though, don’t let her hit u with the I’m sorry shit, and get u back ion the same situation.  Props for not stomping her out. 

My baby’s momma tries that shit. Not really the physical anymore, but still verbally and emotionally.  I do it for the kids. U have to be comfortable enough to let that shit go in one ear and still do u. 

When a bitch acts stupid, ignore her. As long as she ain’t hitting u and shit. 

Look for resources to get your kid. If your ex was abusive to you, odds are she is hurting your kid too. She might not even realize it.

Therapy takes a long time to work. Years. It’s a learning process but it hurts and is frustrating and often feels like going backwards. Like resetting a broken bone, it’s not easy.

The most important thing to remember is that you deserve to be a happy, healthy, and safe person. No matter what echoes of her live in your brain tell you, you gotta literally tell yourself that you deserve to be safe and heathy.

And you do.

My heart goes out to you homie. I was in an abusive relationshit myself so I know that feel bro…but damn, a child should never have to deal with a fucked up mom. My thoughts and prayers are with you. keep seeing that therapist ninja, it ain’t gonna help overnight. I had to see one for a while after my divorce as well. She helped me get back to reality, but it took a lot of time. Also, personally having a schedule to follow kept me from going kooky. MCL my friend and I hope you get your lil ninja back.

TomWild said
So I was in a very physically and verbally abusive relationship for six years of which I just left about a month ago. now let me say that I am a dude..i guess that makes me look weak in some way because I let a bitch beat on me..yeah I guess I could have been “hard” and hit her back..probably could have beat the fuck out of her..but in my heart it didn’t seem right to me so I let it happen..i let her tear me down to almost nothing and beat me in the face when she got angry or I said something out of line to her family who seem to play a major role in our relationship, and I am talking every time we got in an argument her mom or sister was on speaker phone or her step-dad was at our apartment with a rifle pointed in my face. I was even jumped by her and her mom once, my phone taken and held against my will inside our apartment, held down and screamed at and punched in my face. I feel like I should have done something but at the time I didn’t know what to do. this bitch has brought me to my knees confidence wise, from the abuse to the cheating to the constant lying which I knew about for a very long time and even caught her in the act a few times but this bitch manipulated me to the point that I would make myself literally believe that I imagined it all I suffer from bipolar disorder so I was a little fucked up to begin with and now listening to TWIZTID’s Breakdown has got me realizing that my head is in a dark place..am I weak for not fighting back or strong for leaving…there are consequences to my leaving because my five year old son is not allowed to see or talk to me now..which is ripping me apart inside because I basically took care of him from the time he was born and really the only thing I even care about in this fucked up world..so what do you guys think,..i seriously feel like I am losing my mind and therapy isn’t doing fuck all…any reply is appreciated but please don’t reply with some bullshit like “you’re a pussy” “you’re a fag and a bitch get over it” type bullshit because that really doesn’t help me at all..much juggalo love to all..  

I can feel you. I have been to an abusive relationship before and I found myself breaking free.