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5:27 pm
March 30, 2013
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SexyLette420 said
I love this thread!
Only embarrassing story I can think of at the moment is when I was in like 4th grade. I really liked this boy and at recess I was trying to impress him by jumping off of the swings in mid swing like the higher the better. Well I started swinging higher then ever and jumped out. When I landed, my shoes were untied and my foot went to go forward my other foot was stepping on my shoelace and I faceplanted in the mulch. Then out of sheer fucking embarrassment, I just layed there clapping my hands and making seal noises while that kid and all his friends laughed at me.
WTF was wrong with me? lmaoo But yeah, that happened.
Needless to say that was the end of trying to impress that lil fucker. Enjoy.
Reminds me of this girl my brother used to sex up, she was named Amy and would make seal/otter/walrus i dunno noises so loud we would laugh from the next room. Also would purr like a kitty in his ears… this same girl got shit drunk at the mall with him many years ago, puked all over herself and sat by the main entryway bench yelling “who’s goin chicken huntin!?!” Thats the only Juggalo experience shes had as far as i know. I think thats the only song she heard lol
6:42 pm
May 29, 2013
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SexyLette420 said
I love this thread!
Only embarrassing story I can think of at the moment is when I was in like 4th grade. I really liked this boy and at recess I was trying to impress him by jumping off of the swings in mid swing like the higher the better. Well I started swinging higher then ever and jumped out. When I landed, my shoes were untied and my foot went to go forward my other foot was stepping on my shoelace and I faceplanted in the mulch. Then out of sheer fucking embarrassment, I just layed there clapping my hands and making seal noises while that kid and all his friends laughed at me.
WTF was wrong with me? lmaoo But yeah, that happened.
Needless to say that was the end of trying to impress that lil fucker. Enjoy.
reading an innocent and hilarious story like that makes me feel all the more deviant for my stories haha…then again warlock fucks toilet paper rolls sooooo…hahaha
Blood rains down from an angry sky! My cock rages on! My cock rages on!
6:48 pm
March 31, 2012
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theres only been one toilet paper roll incident… thus far… haha regardless your stories are way worse yo
8:00 pm
March 20, 2013
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The Warlock said
theres only been one toilet paper roll incident… thus far… haha regardless your stories are way worse yo
im pretty sure that theres no ok time to fuck a toilet roll O.o
8:37 pm
March 31, 2012
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8:52 pm
May 29, 2013
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lol i shared more stories, of course collectively theyre worse, lets hear more outta u
Blood rains down from an angry sky! My cock rages on! My cock rages on!
9:13 pm
May 29, 2013
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so one time when i was 14 i saw some geese outside, i fuckin hate geese, so i decided to get my dads pistol and pop a shot at them. it had been raining hard and my back yard is mostly clay, so when i missed the geese the shot richocheted off the clay and the bullet flew and blew a hole in my neighbors window, went through their wall, and stuck in the dudes leather coat (it was hung up). dude was cool about it, didnt press charges just wanted his window fixed lol. i was scared ahitless when the cops showed up lol. dad told me he woulda came home n beat my ass but he was scared he wouldnt quit hitting me.
Blood rains down from an angry sky! My cock rages on! My cock rages on!
11:11 pm
March 20, 2013
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ROFL! thats awesome! and also thatll teach you for trying to kill some poor innocent geese hahaha.
Uhmm, i dont really have many embarrassing stories… but ill give you what i can think of.
I went to a party, got black out drunk and apparently i went on a bottleshop run with some random chicks (i have zero recollection of this) and i woke up about 200km away from the party and they had stolen my phone, wallet and shoes.
i had to walk around and scab money to pay for the bus ride home adn a cheap pair of thongs (i dont know what you americans call em, but sandals i suppose) from the general store.
i was stuck in the middle of nowhere for 2 days because i couldnt remember any phone numbers and and people were pricks. i lost my job and my girlfriend filed a missin persons report.
Oh i got one, but it happened to a friend when he was travelling around thailand.
He shacked up with a hooker who ended up being a ladyboy and she robbed him aswell hahaha
was hilarious, he lost like 500 bucks and all his credit cards. sad trip for him haahha.
I dont really get embarrassed by much so i dunno. ive walked into a packed room naked before, ive fucked a chick on a couch while her older brother slept in the chair next to us.
8:18 am
May 29, 2013
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novocaine said
ROFL! thats awesome! and also thatll teach you for trying to kill some poor innocent geese hahaha.
Uhmm, i dont really have many embarrassing stories… but ill give you what i can think of.
I went to a party, got black out drunk and apparently i went on a bottleshop run with some random chicks (i have zero recollection of this) and i woke up about 200km away from the party and they had stolen my phone, wallet and shoes.
i had to walk around and scab money to pay for the bus ride home adn a cheap pair of thongs (i dont know what you americans call em, but sandals i suppose) from the general store.
i was stuck in the middle of nowhere for 2 days because i couldnt remember any phone numbers and and people were pricks. i lost my job and my girlfriend filed a missin persons report.
Oh i got one, but it happened to a friend when he was travelling around thailand.
He shacked up with a hooker who ended up being a ladyboy and she robbed him aswell hahaha
was hilarious, he lost like 500 bucks and all his credit cards. sad trip for him haahha.
I dont really get embarrassed by much so i dunno. ive walked into a packed room naked before, ive fucked a chick on a couch while her older brother slept in the chair next to us.
no goose is innocent. geese are dicks. and damn dude lol that is nuts! 200km is prettybfar to get taken out to n robbed
Blood rains down from an angry sky! My cock rages on! My cock rages on!
10:39 am
March 30, 2013
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LTB said
novocaine said
ROFL! thats awesome! and also thatll teach you for trying to kill some poor innocent geese hahaha.
Uhmm, i dont really have many embarrassing stories… but ill give you what i can think of.
I went to a party, got black out drunk and apparently i went on a bottleshop run with some random chicks (i have zero recollection of this) and i woke up about 200km away from the party and they had stolen my phone, wallet and shoes.
i had to walk around and scab money to pay for the bus ride home adn a cheap pair of thongs (i dont know what you americans call em, but sandals i suppose) from the general store.
i was stuck in the middle of nowhere for 2 days because i couldnt remember any phone numbers and and people were pricks. i lost my job and my girlfriend filed a missin persons report.
Oh i got one, but it happened to a friend when he was travelling around thailand.
He shacked up with a hooker who ended up being a ladyboy and she robbed him aswell hahaha
was hilarious, he lost like 500 bucks and all his credit cards. sad trip for him haahha.
I dont really get embarrassed by much so i dunno. ive walked into a packed room naked before, ive fucked a chick on a couch while her older brother slept in the chair next to us.
no goose is innocent. geese are dicks. and damn dude lol that is nuts! 200km is prettybfar to get taken out to n robbed
I like to fish. Once I accidentally hooked a goose’s leg while he was swimming idly on the water while I reeled in. He went batshit crazy and honestly I don’t remember what happened after that… I’ve also accidentally hooked not one, but THREE turtles in my lifetime. They like worms too, apparently! They hooked themselves. I caught two in the same NC pond, but years before my first turtle was hooked right through the bottom jaw. I pulled him in to shore, trying to remove it… to no avail. He shrunk his dome inside the shell like a exposed phallus on Pluto. So I said “fuck you then!” I cut the line, tied up a new hook and sinker, etc, and went back to fishing. Sooner than later, he emerged! The turtle sprinted towards the water (contrary to popular belief, they aren’t that slow), hitting a big rock. This temporarily stunted him, then he got his shit together and dove for the water. My pops told me that he’ll be fine; the metal will rust out and he’ll heal naturally. Either way, the turtle had a bad ass labret piercing for awhile. He probably got mad amphibious neden.
10:55 am
May 29, 2013
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lmao!
Blood rains down from an angry sky! My cock rages on! My cock rages on!
10:38 am
December 8, 2012
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One time me and my wife were getting some things out of storage for my mother in law and for some reason in that dusty storage unit we felt the urge to get busy. So we banged in the storage unit with the door wide open it was one of them public storages. Thats was cool.
One other time it was Valentines Day and me and my wife were inthe middle of some freaky syrup and honey fellatio cunnilingus type activities and my mom shows up to the house so we have to put it away with our genitals all sticky. felt good though when we were gettin it.
1:00 pm
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August 12, 2012
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4:24 pm
February 9, 2013
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Shit my pants 13 yrs old moms fiancee truck
Fucked a girl then pissed on her floor while friend stole silverware
Drugs and drinking caused that last one
Gathering free lapdances sitdown on chair it breaks that was funny anyone remember that from I garretsville
I never masturbate with things im a dry guy
Gwen Stefani called me a girl during show I crowd surfed outtta pit was limping when song was over she asked crowd to calm down cause she saw a girl limping I had a long shirt on coverin my shorts looked like a dress I know she meant me cause she was staring at me during whole thing
Worked at a bar for 5 yrs everytine I spilled or broke a glass,sucked
8:01 am
February 24, 2014
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bumped for slum, thanks to chunk
I'll fuck you till you love me, Faggot!
-Tyson
8:07 am
February 24, 2014
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LTB said
Ok, I’ll throw out another.
I was in 8th grade and had one of them random woodies you get for no reason (I call it drift wood lol), and I was in home ec class sittin in the front row (that class is mandatory at my school) while everyone was in the back sewing a pillow or some shit that I refused to participate in. So I start jerkin off under my desk and it occurs to me right when I’m about to bust that I got nothing to bust on (not gonna do it on my shirt or drawers and it’d get noticed on the floor) so I took of my shoe and busted in my shoe. That was 2nd period out of seven. Walked around the rest of the day til I got home wit nut in my shoe.
HAHAHA. No fuckin way that is a real story. I have fuckin tears in my eyes. tell me that shit is made up
I'll fuck you till you love me, Faggot!
-Tyson
8:09 am
February 24, 2014
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LTB said
‘Nother don’t judge me story you made me think of.
everyday (almost) from age 12 to 14 I made out with one of my pillows every night. To practice for the real deal. I’ve been told by every bitch I ever got a chance to do some deep kissin with that I’m the most amazing kisser they ever kissed. So it worked it for as embarrassing as it is, don’t judge me haha
hahaha
I'll fuck you till you love me, Faggot!
-Tyson
8:18 am
August 29, 2012
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i browsed this bad boy earlier when i found it.. oh my god this is in the top 5 funniest threads
8:27 am
February 24, 2014
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ok. so when I was 13, I popped in a cheesy VHS porn that my friend let me borrow, cuz that’s what you do. well I just got don’t beatin my dick, and was about to nut, but didn’t have any papertowels or socks around. I had a pillow without a pillow case handy. not sure why. So I busted all over the pillow. Not like, 2 minutes afterwords my brother comes in. Didn’t even have enough time to recover from my shame. You know that 180 you take after you completely bust a nut? well he comes in, and sits on my bed and drops his arm all over my nut in the pillow. He was like “eww what is this?” I told him I had to blow my nose and there wasent any Kleenex around. I did blow something though. My load all over that fuckin pillow ! anyways, he believed me.
Another time, I was jerkin off to some porn. I was the same age. apparently I fell asleep mid stroke, cuz I woke up in the middle of the night, with porn on the TV and my dick layin on my stomach.
I was staying in a hotel in Ocean City MD with my GF at the time, and I was pretty drunk, and I wanted to fuck. She was not down to fuck cuz she was ready to pass out, in which she did. So I got pissed of, jerked off, and nutted in her hair, then fell asleep.
Judge all you want
I'll fuck you till you love me, Faggot!
-Tyson
8:28 am
February 24, 2014
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chunk801 said
i browsed this bad boy earlier when i found it.. oh my god this is in the top 5 funniest threads
I normally don’t crack up laughing when im by myself, but this thread had tears in my eyes. Mostly LTBs story of nuttin in his shoe
I'll fuck you till you love me, Faggot!
-Tyson
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