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So, the 2010 Gathering of the Juggalos has come and gone. It was quite an eventful one this year! I haven’t written a Gathering review in years that I remember, so I think we’re a little overdue. I may be on my soap box a little on this one after what you’ve probably already heard about the weekend’s events. But it’s definitely justified. Let’s start out with a little paragraph about the road trip up there.

Monday – Wednesday, August 9th-11th
My wife and I rolled out of Dallas as soon as we got off of work, so we were on the road at around 7 PM. We got to Fort Smith to meet up with our Riff Raff homies, and stayed the night there. This is where the onslaught of horrible food consumption started. I’m talking DQ Blizzards, Taco Bell, and crazy amounts of cupcakes. No, I don’t smoke weed, but I think being around it for a week gives both of us the munchies. lol. Anyways, we got a good night’s sleep, and then met up with Nightcrawler and his wife Triscuit to start our 9-10 hour trip to the 11th annual Gathering of the Juggalos!

The drive was pretty uneventful. We spent it just catching up with everyone, and reminiscing about past Gatherings. PsykoScott has been to 10 of them, and I’ve been to all 11. So needless to say, we’ve got quite a few stories under our belts. Here’s the cool part. We got to Cave-In-Rock, and saw the signs pointing Juggalos to go down one road, and vendors to go down the other one. With this being our 4th time here, we knew where people were going to be let in. So we went where the vendors park. Who was there? Us and 2 other RVs full of sneaky ninjas! We weren’t even questioned by any of the staff. We just posted up there for the night, got a good 7 or 8 hours sleep, and were well-rested when they opened up the gates at around 9:30 AM. I know we saw some Juggalos roaming the grounds inside while we were outside of the gate, but I know that Hatchet Landings was pretty much BARE by the time we got in and found our usual camping spot.

As soon as we parked and got the RV all leveled out, we started putting up the gigantic Army parachute that we used as shelter from the ridiculously hot sun for the entire weekend. Soon after we got everything set up and were settled in, our homies from TrueJuggaloFamily.com rolled up and started setting up their camp. Those are some really cool, down-to-earth people over there. Mr. Hatchet came prepared as fuck too! He brought a big ass tent, and even bought a small window unit air conditioner. He cut a hole in the tent the size of the window unit and had that bitch cold all weekend! They also had their own misting tent hooked the fuck up. For his first Gathering, he did it up right! Oh, I almost forgot about the mini fridge filled with all kinds of steak and hamburger meat. lol. That was the shit!

Big Ian of Faygoluvers has a very fitting name. That’s a big motherfucker! He and his homie Sandman had some staleness happen to them on the way to the Gathering, but I’ll let him talk on that if he feels like it. We met up though and all reintroduced ourselves, and I think we’ve all got new homies out of the whole weekend experience. Ian was the youngster of the group at an unseasoned 20 years of age. That was the butt of a LOT of jokes over the course of the weekend. I’m sure I’ll remember some instances as I get further along in the review. But for now, let’s cover some of the flavor we got into on the day BEFORE the first day of the Gathering.

So it was always in the plans for PsykoScott, Ty, DeadKev, and Tink to do flesh suspensions while we were at this year’s Gathering. If you have no idea what a flesh suspension is, Get Schooled! It basically involves having hooks pierced into your back, legs, knees, and/or a few other spots. Then you are hooked to a pulley and suspended by the hooks in your body like a side of beef. The shit looks crazy, and for those of you who didn’t see the pics of it when we posted them on the first day, we’ve got more where they came from, and videos too! Some of Wolfpac’s crew came by to watch, and so did Upchuck and ClaAs. DeadKev was the first of the bunch, and did 2 different types of suspensions. Then Christy was all ready to go. She had never been suspended before and her nerves got the best of her. She puked all over the place before being hung up. After that though, she was fine. Her nerves were just shot, as you can probably imagine. Ty, who is the most experienced in doing this, got all hooked in and ready to swing. He did a Suicide suspension and was swinging and twirling around everywhere. They say it’s a crazy fuckin high when you’re doing this, but I think I’m just gonna continue to take their word on it.

We didn’t realize that the merch tent was opening up a day early too, so when somebody told us that Big Money Ru$tla$ was already available to purchase, it was on like Donkey Kong! We grabbed our copies, and tried to watch it in the built-in RV TV/DVD player. But what do you know? It was all fucked up. We busted out my laptop, got it all angled right to where the screen didn’t look fucked up, and were on our way to watching Big Money Ru$tla$ after a 10 Year Wait! Was it worth the wait? I’ll tell you like this. Poot and Stank stole the shit like they did in Hu$tla$! If I knew how to spell the noise that Stank was making while counting Big Baby Chips’ money, I would. We were doing that shit ALL WEEKEND LONG. Menet Menet Menet Menet Menet!! lol. Sorry. Anyways, there were a shit ton of cameos in it, the best in my opinion being by Tom Sizemore. Sugar Wolf was a pimp-slap happy Sheriff whose deputy, Jason Mewes, said “Oh Cra-ya-p” a lot. That was pretty funny, but the character we could have probably done without was the old sheriff, whose name escapes me, who went on an epic journey to find Sugar Wolf his chili from NYC. I won’t go into further details, but I think this movie is WELL worth owning! I already got my copy for the collection, and will be watching it again as soon as I get a chance to at home. The shit is FUNNY. This isn’t a movie review though…get that bitch and judge for yourself!

That was the last thing we did on Wednesday night. By that time it was like 2 or 3 in the morning, so we called it a night.

Thursday, August 12th
After a GREAT night’s sleep of 8+ hours, we were ready to get the Gathering officially started! Since we slept well past noon that day, we ate breakfast hella late. We hung out, walked the Gathering grounds saying hi to a bunch of ninjas and had to cross the dreaded “drug bridge” a few times. Now here we go with a Soap Box Alert.

Drug Bridge: Fuck that bridge and most of the people on it. Seriously, can we get some fuckin security over there to keep people moving along? There were so many people on it trying to sell you drugs, and NOT just weed or mushrooms, that it was hard to get across it. And forget about trying to get a golf cart or anything like that through it. We found different routes around the main “drug bridge”, but it just sucks to know that it’s even there. If I got asked if I wanted to buy cocaine, heroin, X, or whatever the hell else they were selling over there one more time, there may have been some Sugar Wolf style slapping going on! Most of the crew that I hang out with smokes weed. I could give a shit less about it. I don’t care if it was just pot dealers on the bridge, it was OUT OF CONTROL. Put a couple of the security guards who were just roaming around on those bitches and make the people looking for drugs go on a search out in the middle of the fuckin woods for all I care. I said it in the comments earlier, if you’re gonna do drugs, bring your own from home. That way you know what’s in them, and aren’t smoking weed laced with some kind of Zimbabwean crack.

Thursday was HOT. As soon as we stepped out of the RV, you were fuckin drenched with sweat. The humidity there was nothing short of ridiculous this past weekend. So we hung out in the A/C for a while until it got a little darker outside.

ClaAs was scheduled to be on the main stage at 6:30 PM, so we headed over there a little after 6 PM to get a spot. He had a really badass banner if I do say so myself. (The company I work for printed it up for him). ClaAs and Ronnie Blaze were tearin’ it up on the stage while Kenny D was there making sure the banner didn’t blow away. lol. ClaAs got the crowd fuckin jumpin’ and movin’ to get the night started off on Main stage right! He had a pretty big crowd singing along to IDGAF by the end of his set. He even got a “Fa-mi-ly! Fa-mi-ly!” chant from the crowd without pulling a Coolio by initiating it.

In the break between ClaAs and V Sinizter‘s set, we went and rode some of the Carnival rides. We rode the Hustler ride which was basically like some badass tea cups. Then we rode another one where you sit 4 people to an enclosed basket, and this fucker just whips you around endlessly. I think it’s called the Zipper at some carnivals. At any rate, those were pretty fun. But not NEAR as fun as watching this Juggalo who calls himself MindFucked in a pair of coveralls running around taking money to get kicked square in the fuckin balls. He was roaming around the carnival rides with a sign that said the prices per kick. I think it was $2.50 per try. That dude was making some quick cash! First, Big Ian gave him 3 bucks (gotta give the fool a tip!), and then kicked took his turn to kick him in the balls with his steel toe boots. Didn’t even phase the guy! Who walks up right after Big Ian kicks him in the nuts? Why Mad Man Pondo of course! MindFucked was practically BEGGING Pondo to kick him. In the end, Pondo gave in. MindFucked pulled his coveralls up to where they were just hugging his nuts, and then Pondo took a swift kick at his ballbag and again, the dude didn’t even flinch. After that, our Riff Raff homie PsykoScott wanted his turn. He gave MindFucked $5.00for 2 Kicks. Now Mindfucked got his shit ready, and PsykoScott wasn’t fucking around. He cleared a path so he could have a running start at him. The 2 kicks he had were dead on, and even made me a little queasy. That guy earned every bit of the cash he got this year! Friend him up on MJS atMyJuggaloSpace.com/MindFucked!

After that straight up fuckin comedy, we went back to the RV to get out of the sun for a bit. Actually, it’s pretty much because we didn’t care to see anyone on at the time. No offense to Naughty By Nature or Above the Law, but that just didn’t interest any of us. We went back to make some dinner, which I think were some 1/2 pound angus burgers that night. Fuckin delicious! After that gut bomb, we went back to see the Psychopathic Rydas get crunk as hell on stage! I’m almost positive it was the exact same set they performed on the 2nd stage last year. But regardless of that, I always dig a Rydas show!

As anyone who has been to an outdoor Gathering knows, after the last act on the main stage, the night is JUST getting started! We still had performances by Lil Wyte, Big B, and (hed)p.e. among others to catch! The first show we caught was King Gordy‘s on 2nd Stage. That big motherfucker has such amazing RAW Talent! You’ll see when we post the videos…he KILLED the stage! There was a hell of a crowd there watching him spit his own twist of that wicked shit! I’m talking dirty, nasty, gritty rape-your-grandmother type sick shit. It makes you start to worry about the mental stability of an individual who even thinks of some of the shit that he spits. But again, that full is nothing but DOPE. If you’ve never had a chance to catch a Gordy show, you really don’t know what you’re missing!

My next stop was SUPPOSED to be BLESTeNATION at the Freakshow Tent. But word around the campfire is that everybody in the band shows up except for Werdplay, who is their frontman. He even tweeted that he was supposed to be there, but he was happy he wasn’t because he was chillin at home in Cali or some shit. Fuck that. Apparently it was the last straw of egomaniacal bullshit because from what I understand, the group is no longer together and Werdplay is going solo. We’ll see how that works for him.

One of the performances that I was personally the most geeked about for this Gathering was seeing Lil Wyte! I have been listening to this fool for YEARS since he released “Doubt Me Now”. I saw a full band being set up where Lil Wyte’s timeslot was supposed to be and was thinking “What the fuck?!”. I thought he no-showed too. Even the band’s drum set said “Taco and Da Mofos”, who weren’t listed on the schedule. I asked the sound guy about it, and he said that it was definitely Lil Wyte. I didn’t believe it until I saw that dude bouncin’ around on stage in a red jumpsuit wylin’ out like a rockstar! Hearing all of the shit I was used to bumpin’ on some Kicker subs being performed with a LIVE BAND was a fuckin TRIP! I’m sayin it WORKED! I was thoroughly impressed with the entire set, and got quite a bit of it on tape. I don’t know if the band is the norm for him but he should consider keeping them around for his tour dates if he doesn’t already. The shit may have been a little boring without them. Much props to Lil Wyte with Taco and Da Mofos for bringin’ their A-game at 3 in the morning in the middle of the fuckin woods!

Big B was next on the 2nd stage, so we briskly walked over there where we could hear his set already starting. You pretty much know what you’re gonna get out of a Big B show before you see it. Don’t take that negatively, because I’ll say the same thing about an ICP show any day! But you had Big B on stage by himself just performing the bangers that you know and love, along with some tracks from his upcoming release “Good Times & Bad Advice”. That Everlast track he does is worth the price of the album alone, so don’t sleep on that album!

After that, my whole Riff Raff / FLH crew was hype as fuck because(hed)p.e. was about to tear the Freakshow tent a new asshole! We had to wait around for a little bit, and I don’t think hed actually went on stage and started until around 5 AM. It didn’t matter. That bitch was straight PACKED! Jahred and the boys were hype as hell to be at the Gathering performing in front of several hundred Juggalos. Now remember, we just saw (hed)p.e. in Dallas a couple of weeks ago on the Strange Noize 2010 tour. I have got to say that if you were at that Dallas show, you did NOT see hed at their full potential! I guess that’s just the thing about the Gathering…everyone brings their A-Game! This pit area was ridiculous! When you hear Jahred start bellowing out tracks like “Renegades”, Suffa, or Sophia, you get this feeling that you HAVE to get in the pit. ClaAs and I were there on the outskirts of it, and then made our move to jump right into the insanity! I was bouncing around off of some big motherfuckers, while ClaAs was throwing ninjas around left and right! He actually stepped on someone who had fallen and rolled his ankle. It was fucked up for the rest of the weekend. At least he had already performed his set and could drink the pain away. lol. One aspect that was the shit besides the INSANE pit that went on for the entire show was when they started playing Bob Marley‘s “No Woman, No Cry”as the sun was rising. We officially brought in Friday with HedPE under that circus tent. Everyone was soaking wet with sweat after that, so we went back to the RV, grabbed a shower, and were off to bed.

Friday, August 13th
Since we stayed up until around 7 AM Friday morning, we all crashed out hard that night. So much so that I went and ran off to the Boondox Seminar and forgot my video camera. So instead of filming, we just took some notes of some of the highlights he went over:

• Boondox will have a contest on his myspace where Juggalo rappers can send a track in, and whoever he deems the best one, he’ll rap a verse on there for FREE!
• There will possibly be a Yung Dirt solo album in the works!
• solo tour starting in September
• lots of guest spots on the next solo album
• Remake of SHI (Southern Hustlas Inc) track on the next solo album

Every other seminar that we went to was filmed, so I just wanted to make sure this was all covered somewhere. We won’t do an itemized breakdown on any of the others. But yeah, Boondox seems like a real chill dude, and I’m looking forward to doing up some stuff with him soon! Hit us up Boonie!

After that, it was back in the sweltering heat just long enough to make it to the A/C. I seriously did the “We have an RV” happy dance several times over the course of the weekend. Don’t get me wrong, we let other homies of ours come in and bask in the coolness for a while…including Ian’s big ass who mooched off the chill air more than anyone else. lol. Just fuckin with ya homie. I think at the point that Amanda and I got back to the RV, the rest of the crew were in the middle of watching Big Money Ru$tla$ again. I caught the 2nd half of it for the 2nd time, and it was even better than the first time! I was tired as fuck the first time, so I’m sure that had a lot to do with it.

At 4 PM or so, we headed to the ICP Seminar an hour early. It didn’t matter how early we got there though, it was already jam packed. I always manage to ninja my way into a crevice where I can get some good footage though. I’m not sure if the Gathering review or the seminar videos will make it up live on the site first. But if you haven’t checked them out, peep theGathering Videos Section for all that flavor! J and Shaggy were entertaining as always. They pleaded to Juggalos NOT to throw shit at Tila Tequila…which obviously didn’t work. But Shaggy kept insisting that we didn’t throw anything at her because he’s trying to fuck her. It’s comedy for real!

I know there’s a time gap between the end of the ICP seminar and the beginning of Boondox‘s set, but I’m not tryin’ to tell you when I showered and shit. Just know that my asscheeks NEVER hit a port-a-potty seat because *happy dance* We Had An RV! We Had an RV! **

So yeah, back to Boondox‘s set. He definitely had the crowd into it. I didn’t get to see what Warren G did before him, so I don’t know what kind of mood Juggalos were in after that. But you know damn well that if Boondox hits the stage, it doesn’t matter if Juggalos had been watching paint dry for the past 4 hours. He’ll murder it!

KottonMouth Kings were on next. We stayed back and watched them from around the sound booth area, but they had the crowd moving too! In case you were wondering, the roster was the same that was on the Happy Daze tour. We’re talking Daddy X, Johnny Richter, D-Loc, Dirtball, and DJ Bobby B. No Pakelika, and no Lou Dog.

Dark Lotus came out next to headline the main stage for the night. After talking to all my homies who watched the Psychopathic sets, we all agreed that the artists stepped up their game for real! You could actually hear everyone individually rapping their parts on Dark Lotus, and they sounded pretty good! Don’t get me wrong, the audio portion of the show as pretty damn bad, but not due to any fault of the artists. I don’t know why they can’t ever get the sound on a Dark Lotus set right. But it didn’t matter. I was right up front with ClaAs, Kenny, and Christy. My wifey stayed back with the crowd to take some pics and just chill so I could go get nuts. I’m hoping there’s an announcement of a new Lotus album soon so we can add some more tracks to their stage arsenal!

After Lotus, it was time to get showered up again. I knew I didn’t have long because Kung Fu Vampire was going on at the Freakshow Tent in less than an hour! Amanda and I got ready, grabbed our cameras, and were off to see how KFV schooled it! We hadn’t seen him perform with a live band before since it was just him and his hype man for a majority of theSlaughterhouse Tour. So I knew this was gonna be a dope fuckin experience! Sure enough, he came out, rapped his fuckin ass off, and all with a live band behind him! I got most of his set recorded so make sure to check that out as soon as it’s up!

I know that Friday night was Ladies night, but I stayed as far away from it as I possibly could. I would have liked to see Miss Kisa, and Ill E. Gal, but went ahead and took my chances with Tom Green since I had never seen that dude before. I used to watch his MTV show all the damn time, and my Riff Raff stoner homies were all about seeing him. lol. So we went there separately and were waiting for what seemed to be FOREVER! We were there 20 minutes early, but he didn’t end up going on until after 2:30 AM. Juggalos were getting restless, and when Upchuck hit the stage, they were throwing shit everywhere. Upchuck seemed like he had fuckin HAD IT by that point. He singled out a Juggalo who had thrown shit and just was relentless on him. You know how when a comedian gets heckled and it goes from being a funny response to not so funny, and dead serious? That’s how the shit was. I still laughed, but I think I was the only one. Bad day for my homie Upchuck.

So Tom Green came out and stayed out for well over an hour! I don’t really know that I’m a huge fan of his standup, but he had some funny lines. He was getting heckled by some of the crowd. Some asshole even went up to him with a pile full of hot dogs and started whipping them at him one by one until the crowd stopped him. If you’re the douche who did it, fuck you dude. Go find something else to fuckin do. At any given point in the middle of the night at a Gathering, there are at least half a dozen things you could be doing. Go do one of the OTHER ones. Asshole.

You’ll see all of it on video! I was a videotaping machine this weekend! I had just recently bought a new HD hard drive camera, so I can film something like 80 hours of video without tapes or any of that bullshit! Nice! Toward the end, he started asking us to chant things like “Chicken Sandwich” and “Corn on the Cob”. He didn’t do the Bum Bum song, but did talk about Eminem parodying it on the “Real Slim Shady” track like a decade ago. Then of course you have the inevitable “Fuck Eminem” chant. People…get over it! Psychopathic has…why can’t you?!

Tom Green’s set ended somewhere in the 3:45 area, so we went ahead and split for the RV again. There wasn’t really anything else we wanted to see that night, but I knew I needed to jump on the laptop to get the news from those seminars out to you ninjas! So I started working on a post, and putting a few things up on Our Facebook. Everyone told me that Lil Kim had no-showed, and Tila Tequila was pushed back to fill in her empty time slot. So 4 AM rolls around and Psykoscott, Ty, and Kevin decide they want to go see the freak show that would be the Tila Tequila set. They asked if I was coming, and while I really wanted to, I decided to stay behind and finish up the post I was working on for you ninjas. BAD IDEA. If I had filmed that thing, I could have had one hell of an unexpected paycheck! PsykoScott came back to the RV and told us what had just happened. I knew that I had missed GOLD. I’ll get to that in a second though. First, I want to step back up on my soap box for a minute:

Look, I don’t have ANY FUCKING IDEA why a lot of Juggalos think it’s OK to throw shit at artists. What gives you that right? I have been to a LOT of concerts in my life, and have NEVER seen opening acts get as much shit thrown at them that those performing at a Psychopathic event do. Hell, turn your back, put your middle finger up in the air, or go find something else to do. Do ANYTHING but throw glass bottles and full, unopened beer cans at them. Nobody deserves that…no matter how bad they suck! I know this has been going on since the beginning of Gatherings, but it really needs to stop, and it’s gonna take more than extra security and pleas from Psychopathic to stop it. Hell, I even saw some young ninjas at a seminar tent pick up a rock and smile at their homies like they were about to throw it in the trash wars at the Seminar tent before Twiztid. I’m not fuckin kidding you. I had to step in and say something at that point. I don’t see how that is in ANY way funny. I can’t condone it, accept it for what it is, or just blow it off. As crazy a bunch of people that Juggalos are supposed to be, we’re NOT helping ourselves, or our image out by physically harming each other, or guest artists on Psychopathic bills. FUCKING STOP IT. You are, and will forever be an ignorant fucking asshole if you do it, or think it’s funny to do. Plus, let’s look at who you’re throwing shit at. I mean you’ve got this 90 pound, 4 foot nothing chick on stage who is doing what she got paid to do. Do you throw shit at these richy bitches at the mall that are of the same stature? Why HELL NO. Because it’s a pussy ass bitch move, and you know that at the Gathering surrounded by 400 other people, you can get away with it.

Sorry for the rant. I just had to get it out of my system. I don’t want that to overshadow the fact that I had an AMAZING time at the Gathering as I normally do! It is ridiculously fun! Just don’t surround yourself with idiots and you will have the time of your life as well!

I guess it was around 6 AM when we decided it was time to call it a day and get some sleep.

Saturday, August 14th
As with every day, when I woke up on Saturday Morning, I brushed my teeth and went to check my email. To my surprise, there was an email in there to me from TMZ! No bullshit! They were asking for photos and video from the Tila Tequila incident! They were offering cash too! How fuckin stupid did you think I felt after getting that email? lol. I tried to point him in the right direction as far as getting what he needed, because I obviously didn’t have anything to give him. ClaAs had told me that he heard that Kung Fu Vampire had the whole thing on film from the side of the 2nd stage. I was like FUCK…I gotta find that dude and get him PAID! I wrote him an email ran into him later in the day. He said that his battery had died and they left it charging in their van while Tila was on. So yeah, EVERYONE fucked up. But nobody could have predicted that happening.

Since we stayed up so late, we woke up just barely in time to catch theBlaze Seminar at 2 PM. I know that sounds completely insane that we wake up after noon on most days. But at a Gathering, when half of the events scheduled start after midnight, that’s how you gotta roll! Blaze’s seminar was surprisingly informative this year! I will leave it to you to watch the entire thing in our Gathering Videos Section when we get them all coded up. But just know that with the return of The R.O.C. to the rap game, we WILL be seeing a Zodiac MPrint album! Oh, and after 10 years of watching and recording seminars, I finally got up the nerve to ask a question. As soon as Upchuck came over to me, I got crazy amounts of butterflies in my stomach. I ALWAYS hated speaking in front of a ton of people in school, or wherever I happened to be doing it. Interviews are different because it’s usually just you, the cameraperson, and the interviewee. But yeah, I felt like my heart was gonna explode. lol. It felt good that Blaze recognized me before I even said a word. He was like “Oh hey, what up Scottie?”. Dope. I just stated that since “Gang Rags” had such a different sound than his other albums, how did he approach writing and recording it? He mentioned that Violent J wrote a song or 2 completely that he wanted Blaze to spit. He also had nothing but kind words to say about working with Mike E. Clark. Check out his seminar when you can! Blaze went on for well over an hour just fielding questions, which was the shit!

There was about an hour before ABK’s Seminar was to start, so we went back to the RV, grabbed some biscuits with sausage gravy that Oxi made, and went to town on them! With that gut bomb in our bellies, my wifey and I waddled back over to the Seminar tent in time to record most of what ABK had to say. His was less informative than Blaze‘s, but still WAY better than what we’re used to seeing him do. If you didn’t know, ABK is known to just pass around weed and smoke with Juggalos for the entire hour that is allotted for his seminar. This time, there was about half an hour of questions before they resorted to smoking the peace pipe with hundreds of different ninjas who were there watching.

Let me just say a little bit about seminars while I’m thinking about it. They only happen Once a Year. This is the ONLY time that you will get to ask your favorite Psychopathic Records artists ANYTHING that may be floating around in your nugget! Please, for fuck’s sake, DON’T ASK WHEN THEY’LL BE PLAYING YOUR TOWN NEXT. And Don’t Ask for AUTOGRAPHS or HUGS. First off, they have no idea when they’re coming back to your town. They do NOT book their tours, and aren’t privy to that info until they get the tour date list themselves. It’s a waste of time! As far as the hugs and autographs, there are Juggalos and Juggalettes who spent up to 10 hoursor more waiting in line to get an autograph and a picture with ICP, Twiztid, Blaze, or anyone else who was available in the autograph tents. How is that fair to them? Plus, it’s also a waste of everyone else’s time to sit there and watch them sign your shit while other bombs of knowledge could be released. Take everyone else into consideration before doing that…ya selfish bitch.

After Killa’s seminar, it was back to the lovely air-conditioned RV. Our homies ClaAs and V-Sinizter were hanging out over there, so we decided to do a couple of impromptu interviews with them! I haven’t even watched them yet, but I know that V-Sinizter has been wanting to do this for YEARS, so it’s the shit that we finally got some time to do it. V-Sinizter is one cool motherfucker. ClaAs is kind of an asshole though. Just kidding homie! By the way, it took me some time to convince Big Ian to put a shirt on for these interviews so you weren’t distracted by his giant nipples over the course of watching the video. You WILL thank me later for that.

lol. J Reno was scheduled to play 2nd stage soon after the interviews were conducted. So we slipped out of the A/C at around 6 PM to see what that ninja brought to the table. The time slot was a bad one, and it was hot as all fuck on Saturday. But he and his hype man tore shit up on the 2nd stage and officially flipped the wigs of everyone watching! We met up after his performance and that is a chill ass ninja. I’m sure we’ll be doing more in the future with him, so stay tuned for that!

The next thing that our crew wanted to do as a whole was to go and seeBrotha Lynch Hung. I don’t think that any of us had ever seen him perform live. Well, by the time we headed that way, I think we heard the last few notes of his set. He HAD to have gone on early. oh well. Hopefully he’ll be on this next big Tech N9ne tour! Blaze was due up for the main stage next. I’ve said it time and time again…I’m a HUGE Blaze mark. So there was no way I was missing this one! He did a good mix of Gang Rags, One Less G, Clockwork Gray, and even invited The R.O.C. to the stage to do someZodiac Mprint tracks! I can’t fuckin wait for that album to drop!

I hope that EVERYONE who has made it this far in this gigantic review has seen Tech N9ne perform live at LEAST 1 time in their lives. If you haven’t, you have NO idea the energy that Krizz Kaliko, Kutt Calhoun, and Tech bring to the stage…wherever it may be! ClaAs, Kenny D, Christy, Amanda, and I were all up front during Tech to witness the spectacle up close! He spit that fire, did some tracks with Big Scoob, and performed about an hour-long set. 60 minutes at that level of intensity has GOT to be a beating. Much love to Tech for always bringin’ it 1000%! One interesting thing that happened during Tech’s set is that some asshole decided it would be a good idea to start launching artillery shell style fireworks in the middle of the pit area. We started smelling this pungent, sulfurous smell, and when I turned around, there was a flaming cardboard canister next to me. Everyone was trying to kick it out, and we eventually did. I don’t know what they put in those things, but the smell stuck around for a while. It was too much for Amanda, so she left the pit area. But I stuck it out so I could be at a prime location to see Twiztid.

Now, it was time for Saturday night’s headliners, Twiztid, to come to the stage. Amanda had already left the pit area, but there was no way I was missing this! Madrox and Monoxide came out in white suits with all kinds of neon paint splattered on them from head to toe. They looked super fresh! I was planning on staying in the pit area for about 4 or 5 songs, getting some good pics, and then bouncing. I was feeling dehydrated like crazy, but I always bring a bottle of water in there with me. Juggalos and Juggalettes, that’s a good thing to have. Just grab a bottle and slip it in your back pocket. That way you’re not one of these passed out ninjas that people have to throw up in crowd-surfing fashion to get their limp asses out of there. So after I downed about half of that bottle, I felt good to go for the rest of the set. For those who haven’t heard yet, Twiztid decided to do things a little differently this year. I am estimating that they performed for about 20-25 minutes, and then they dropped a bomb on ALL of us. Monoxide said that he and Jamie were real nervous about what they were about to do. Then they explained that they usually perform some tracks off of an upcoming album just to give you a bit of a taste of what you’ll get in their upcoming release. (That’s what she said!) So instead of doing that, they left the stage, and played the ENTIRE ALBUM of Heartbroken & Homicidal over the main stage sound system! Reactions to this move were mixed, and I couldn’t stick around to listen to more than 3 or 4 tracks because I was soaking wet from being in the pit for the last 2 hours. A shower was a MUST! Big Ian did say that he stayed there the entire time and recorded it from his digital camera. I really don’t know if we are going to put it up in crappy quality or not. I haven’t even heard the recording yet. We’ll let you know what we decide.

Saturday night after the main stage was pretty dead if you don’t like wrestling. There was nothing official happening until nearly 3 AM other thanBloodymania 4 and Hogdaddy’s Hellfire. I was extremely hype to see the Villebillies, Gallagher, and Prozak that night. The problem? Their times ALL OVERLAPPED! Saturday night’s late-night shows were PACKED, probably due to them all being squeezed into a couple of hours. Amanda and I decided that we’d go see the Villebillies, and cut out early to see Prozakdo his full set on the 2nd stage. We went to the Freakshow Tent at 2:30 AM and were sitting there waiting for the Villebillies to hit the stage. Get this, they no-showed. So we at least got to go see some of Gallagher‘s set. He was pretty funny, and super fuckin perverted. The only problem? We were over there for a good half hour and he hadn’t smashed a single fuckin thing! WTF is up with that? Again, he was funny, but it was time to go see Prozak.

We went to the 2nd stage where it was starting to drizzle a little bit. We had timed everything PERFECTLY because by the time we got there, PROZAKwas just now in the middle of the 1st song. The rain kept getting heavier, and it was lightning like crazy! I’m talking like it lit up the sky to where it looked like it was daylight outside! That didn’t stop ninjas from forming a hell of a mosh pit in the mud and shit! I got most of his set filmed too, so you’ll see what I’m talking about! Amanda and I went over to the Freakshow tent again to catch a little bit of Wolfpac‘s show. I’m guessing that you know what you can expect from them. Crazy stage antics, crowd surfing, strippers basically fucking each other on stage…you know, nothing that you’ll see ANYWHERE else! After Wolfpac’s set, we walked back over towards 2nd stage to the van that Prozak was selling merch out of. We chilled with Prozak for a little while as “Jugalo Cool” performed to maybe 150 people on stage. I’m not a fan of Coolio’s stage presence, and man was he “Whoop Whoop”ing it up to try to keep the crowd into it. He saved “Gangsta’s paradise” for the grand finale, and after that, we went ahead and called it a night. It WAS after 5 AM after all.

Sunday, August 15th
So here we are at the last day of the Gathering: Sunday, August 15th. The first event of the day that we planned on going to was the Twiztid Seminar. This may be one of my favorite events for each and every Gathering! I swear, if these guys weren’t rappin’ the Wicked Shit, then they would be stand up comedians! Fuckin HILARIOUS! They explained the reasoning behind playing their entire “Heartbroken and Homicidal”album instead of doing a full set the night before, talked about the self-proclaimed Juggalos who shouted “Family” all the time, but didn’t treat other REAL Juggalos like shit. It was all-in-all a really GREAT hour spent with 2 of your favorite Serial Killers! Oh, and just wait until he talks about being able to get your ass eaten for 2 dollars. You will seriously laugh your balls and vag lips off at that!

With this being the last day of the 4+ Day event, we were all pretty exhausted. I was planning on going to see Mike E. Clark‘s seminar, but we got caught up in breaking down the tent, getting everything packed into the RV, and just overall making life easier for when we left early the next morning. After spending a couple of hours doing that up, and eating, we went over to 2nd Stage to see our homie Liquid Assassin annihilate the audience! I had never seen him perform live, and was VERY pleasantly surprised at his energy, and the fact that he kept up with his high-paced flow that you’re used to hearing on his albums with ease! Don’t sleep on his latest mixtape Apocalypse, which you can buy at Str8Dirty.com!

It was now time for the final night of Main Stage performances. The first act we went to see was REHAB. Earlier in the day, we found Demun Jones and helped him and his merch crew set up a tent next to the main Psychopathic merch area so they could sling their dope ass Gathering-exclusive jerseys! That was another reason we missed the Mike E. Clark seminar. Sorry homie!

REHAB had told us earlier that we were in for a great fuckin set from them. They said that every part of their 30 minute show was very fast paced! Unlike Tila Tequila, they actually knew who they were performing for. They couldn’t do songs like “1980” or “Welcome Home” and expect not to get shit thrown at them. The slowest song in their set was “Bartender Song”, but the several hundred people who were there for REHAB’s set were singing along to every word of that track! Props to REHAB for blowing me away with their show, and even ending with an ode to “King of the Hill”. lol. Catch them on tour when they roll through your area!

Anybody Killa was next on the list of performers. He did a set that I wouldn’t describe as anything out of the ordinary. He’s got a lot of energy on stage, and EVERY time I see him perform Gang Related, I ALWAYS hope that Violent J will come out and perform his verse live with him. I mean it’s only a couple of hours before ICP’s set, so why not? Monoxide doing his part from “Ghetto Neighbor” would be dope too. Just sayin’! Nevertheless, Killa always puts on a good show and picked some great tracks to perform.

The last performers before the grand finale were rap legends Method Manand Red Man. Now to be completely honest with you, I didn’t know a single one of the tracks that I heard them play. I’ve just never been a big fan of theirs. I respect them, and the fact that they chose to play this year’s Gathering, but knew nothing about them. Well, it sounded like they knew about as much about Juggalos as we knew about them. According to some homies of mine who ARE big Meth and Red fans, they weren’t playing the tracks that would win a crowd over. They also kept saying things like “How you doin’ Illinois?!” Like we gave a fuck that we were actually in Illinois at the moment. Most of us travelled from afar to get to the Gathering, so we really have no relationship with the state at all other than the GOTJ. At any rate, the crowd did start a Fa-mi-ly! Fa-mi-ly! chant, but Meth and Red had no idea what it meant. I’m not sure who said it, but he said “Is that good?”. As with ANY Gathering, trash was being thrown. It did seem like more of it was with ill intentions, than just to show love. Method Man was pegged in the face with what looked to be a full can of soda or beer. He was visibly stunned. I have to give him credit though. He continued to perform and finished up their entire set! They did, however, plea to the crowd that if you saw ANYONE throwing shit, to punch them in their fuckin face. So good for them for standing up for themselves. This shit just really shouldn’t happen.

After what seemed like an abnormally long set, it was time to wait even LONGER for ICP to come out and bring the Gathering to a proper close. ClaAs, Kenny, and I were waiting for the right time to start making our way up to the pit area. I didn’t really want to get in there too early so I could make it through the entire set without having to bounce. I’m an old ass man compared to most of the ninjas down there! So when we saw the ICP lights go up, it was time for us to make our move. We made it pretty close to the front, and then got stuck in a rut. I was behind ClaAs, and Kenny was behind both of us. After staying there for a couple of minutes, I got impatient and went ahead and barreled ahead towards the front of the stage. I got to where I Was 2-3 people back, right in the middle, and stayed there a majority of the time. The Faygo this year? INSANITY! They did 2 Faygo Breaks during their set, and they were actually extended from what they usually are. It was pure greatness! I stayed up front and snagged an assload of pics while the $200 Powershot camera got soaked with the sticky goodness. No, it’s probably not the best idea to bring an expensive camera that close to an ICP set, but I went ahead and did it anyways. (It still works perfectly, by the way!) They performed what I am thinking was around an hour-long set. It was a great mixture of old and new! Everything from 12, toJuggalo Island was played! Then, don’t even get me started on the Faygo Armageddon at the end of the show! I may say this every year, but I don’t think I have ever experienced that much Faygo! The stage was PACKED with performers from the weekend’s events! As “Bang! Pow! Boom!” rocked the sound system, anyone up front didn’t DARE open their eyes. I made that mistake once and ended up being blinded by carbonated Diet Root Beer from a water gun. The split second that I had my eyes open, I noticed that they had a gigantic fire hose full of a blue, unidentified liquid. I think it was just dyed water, because I couldn’t tell of any flavor to it. Anyways, when I knew the song was just about over, I started making my way out of the pit area. Here’s another pet peeve of mine. Instead of crowd surfing, I just kind of ducked back through the crowd. Most of them were trying to get closer to the front anyways, so they didn’t mind me giving up their spot. I started making my way to the side of the stage because that’s what looked like the shortest route. Everyone I passed made room for me to squeeze by…except for this one dumb fuckin bitch. I was like “Excuse me”, and when she didn’t move, I just put my hand on her shoulder and kind of brushed her to the side so I didn’t run into her. She flipped out and was like “DON’T PUSH ME!!”. Seriously? You’re at an ICP show. You’re fuckin LUCKY I was nice enough to say “Excuse Me”. I politely told her to “Fuck off and Die, Bitch”, and was on my way out.

Everybody headed back to camp, took much needed showers, and got ready to eat. PsykoScott and Oxi had been back at camp for a minute before we got back, so when we got there, we got treated to some steaks that had been marinating for 5 days in the fridge. Those things were the shit! I’m telling you, when you go to the Gathering, be prepared with some delicacies, and a lot of creature comforts to get you through the sweltering heat, lack of a bathtub, and all that carnival food you’re subjected to. It was probably 1:30 or so in the morning, and I wasn’t quite tired yet. Most of the other Riff Raff crew had crashed out in the RV, so I went outside to talk to ClaAs and Christy for a while. My eyes were getting heavy, so I decided that since we had to be up at around 7 AM, it was time for me to call it a night.

Monday, August 16th
There wasn’t much left to do as far as preparing to make our journey home. We picked up the remainder of stuff we had outside, got the RV packed up, and were ready to go. Big Ian insisted on giving me a bear hug before we left. his 350+ pound jelly frame picked me up, gave me a bear hug, and his front butt was rubbing against my crotch as he shook me up and down. I think I had just been raped. lol. No but seriously, it was the shit hanging out with Ian the whole weekend, no matter how much shit we all gave him about how young he is.

We rolled out of the Gathering grounds, and noticed that there were some areas that you couldn’t even see the grass or ground in general. Why? Because people can’t find one of the trash cans that are 20 feet away from each other and throw their own shit away. Trash has become such a ridiculous problem at the Gathering. That’s a main reason we aren’t allowed back at Nelson’s Ledges, and I’m thinking that Tim York, owner of Hog Rock, doesn’t like what he sees by the end of the weekend either. I know Psychopathic pays out the ass to get that all cleaned up, but it is SO easily avoidable if you just put your shit in a trash can. Leave your camping spot like it was when you got there and I promise that the owners of Hatchet Landings, and Psychopathic will more than appreciate it.

We stopped to get gas in Galconda, IL. PsykoScott pumped the gas while we all went inside for road snacks and a piss break. I walked outside to hear Scott yelling at the top of his lungs at this old man in a Dodge Ram. Basically, what happened was that the RV was taking up 2 gas pumps. The fucker is 32 feet long! So that’s to be expected. Well, this jackass was growing impatient with waiting, and according to Scott, said “You need to move that motherfucker out of the way”. Obscenities started flying back and forth as the old guy got out of his truck. I’m not sure if PsykoScott noticed right away, but this guy had a gun in a holster, cuffs on his belt, and his polo shirt said something about “Galconda Sheriff”. So I was thinking “Great, we’re gonna be stuck here waiting to bail PsykoScott’s ass out of jail”. After the yelling died down, Psykoscott backed the RV up just enough for the officer to get his truck to the pump. He started pumping gas, and then made his way over to the RV. Yeah…”Oh Shit” was my thought exactly. The guy ended up saying that he didn’t curse at Scott, and was very civil. Scott said “It sure sounded like you were cussing”, but it ended peacefully with a handshake. seriously, this officer was like 6 feet tall and all of 110 pounds. But I’m pretty sure nobody had ever talked to him like PsykoScott did. lol.

After that, the drive home was pretty uneventful. Everybody was passed out in the back of the RV, and I was up front working on this Gathering review, updates, and pictures. I’m ALWAYS in work mode for you ninjas!

In the end, I just want to thank my wife Amanda, PsykoScott, Oxi, Ty, Tink (Christy), DeadKev, ClaAs, Kenny D, Big Ian, all of ourTrueJuggaloFamily.com and HCR homies, Sandman, Triscuit, Nightcrawler, and anyone else who we may have spent some time with that weekend. We met a lot of Juggalos and Juggalettes that were first-timers at the Gathering, and some that were hardened GOTJ vets like myself. Despite all the negative publicity that we received, you best believe we’ll be back there again next year! Much love to all of you who were brave enough to read this 10,000 word beast of a review! We’ll see you back at Hatchet Landings next year! Peace y’all!